Only when mothers do this can they create more outstanding boys

As a mother of boys, it would be a lie to say that I am not anxious. When boys grow up, they will have many problems that are difficult for their mothers. Seeing her boys being naughty and mischievous, mothers often wonder in their hearts: What can I do about my boy\’s virtue? With his current performance, can he really become an outstanding boy with responsibility and responsibility? The mother\’s doubts will be even greater after the boy goes to school. Parents of boys will clearly find that no matter how hard the boys work, the gap is still obvious compared with the girls in the class. A few days ago, I saw the following scene in my circle of friends. These messages and comments are all from mothers of boys. I believe that if their children are already in school, the mothers of boys will be more touched when they see these words. Because this is the behavior of most boys in primary school, especially in the lower grades. Many times, these boys\’ behaviors will drive their mothers crazy, and they can\’t help but yell, turning into stepmothers in a second. Raising a boy is really more tiring than raising a girl. Basically all mothers of boys have this mental preparation. Therefore, even if the child develops later than a girl, is energetic and naughty and moves around every day, the mother can basically accept it. As long as it doesn\’t involve studying, my mother\’s heart is relatively calm. However, starting from the early childhood, the boy\’s mother is on the verge of collapse, because you will obviously find that the gap between boys and girls in learning is too big. Boys have too many problems with literacy, learning, and attention. I attended my son\’s parent-teacher meeting some time ago. When it was time for teachers and parents to talk freely, I discovered a particularly interesting phenomenon. When most female parents asked how their children were doing, the teachers smiled without thinking. Answer: Your child is doing well. And when most of the boys\’ parents asked, the teacher would have a stern look on his face and say in a slightly serious tone that there is something wrong with your child. And where are these problems mainly concentrated? Focus on children\’s performance. It is difficult for boys to sit still. They inevitably chase and fight after class. They are often distracted during class. They are either mischievous, talk or make small moves to disturb the classmates next to them, or they are distracted and in a daze. It’s like this when going to school, and it’s even more troublesome to get home after school. Many girls use their time at school to race against time to complete their homework. As soon as school is over, they immediately seize the time to do their homework, even if their mother adds some extracurricular activities to them. Content can also be easily dealt with. But what about boys? There is no such word as self-consciousness. When I get home, I fumble around here and there, finding various excuses, but refuse to do my homework. Many times, even if his parents keep urging him, he will take his time, touching here and there, and it will take a long time before he starts doing it. The process of writing is also driving people crazy. Many times, even if they appear to be doing their homework, they often spend a long time writing a word, dazed, spinning the pen, touching the eraser. Sometimes they simply stop and start playing. , rulers, pencil boxes, notebooks… can all become their toys. The results are even more ridiculous. When writing pinyin, I often write mirror characters, bd is not distinguished, pq is confused, and the results are a mess. The most ridiculous thing is Chinese dictation. Many boys can\’t even write dictically at home.It was okay, but as soon as I entered the school, I couldn\’t keep silent, and I made a lot of mistakes. Some mothers are relatively well prepared and start preparing their children for school at a very young age. Although their children can cope with their studies, they often feel frustrated. Many times, mothers of boys will find that no matter how hard they work and how well prepared they are, their boys cannot keep up with the girls at work. A friend of mine has her children who have been studying hard since they were in small classes in kindergarten. Her children are often studying hard when Zaizai and a group of boys are playing wildly outside. They entered a well-known primary school. But the mother found that even if the child spent so much energy, his grades could not surpass those of the girls in the class. So, whenever it comes to studying, that\’s when boys\’ mothers go crazy. At this time, as a boy\’s mother, what I envy the most are the mothers of girls, because girls have less worries, can study stably, and perform well. But the boy\’s parents are worried, but the boy is still in a careless state, hating the state of being unable to become steel, and his grades are more like flying a kite, sometimes high and sometimes low. Mom often feels exhausted mentally and physically, and wants to be alone for a while. So is there really no hope for boys\’ future? This is the first point of our lecture: as a parent of a boy, you must be able to wait. A friend of mine’s child just got admitted to Shanghai Huayu Middle School this year. I believe anyone who knows about Shanghai’s junior high schools will understand how difficult it is to get into Huayu Middle School. After all, this is one of the four most prestigious schools in Shanghai, and this child’s primary school is It\’s not a prestigious school, it\’s just a \”cai elementary school\”. No one has been admitted to Huayu since the establishment of this elementary school. This child is the first one. But when he was in the first and second grade of elementary school, this child was a real scumbag. He was at the bottom of the class every time he took the test. There were 23 children in the class, and he was often 22nd or 23rd. Every time the teacher saw him, he was furious. Shaking his head. Judging from his performance in grades 1 and 2, I believe no teacher would think that he could enter Huayu. However, starting from the third grade, this child\’s grades began to improve, and he was able to enter the middle and lower reaches of the class every time he took the exam. By the fourth grade, it seemed that he suddenly had an enlightenment, and his grades became excellent, and he was at the top of the class every time he took the exam. From this time on, the mother felt that her child\’s ability could keep up, so she enrolled her child in cram schools such as Mathematical Olympiad and English. After two years of hard work, her child successfully entered Huayu. Now my child lives in school and gets up at 6 a.m. every morning. After washing, he reads English for half an hour, then goes for a run and eats breakfast. Then he starts a day of study and goes to bed on time at 9 p.m. I share this case because I hope everyone knows that for boys, poor performance in childhood does not mean there is a problem. Of course, not every boy will counterattack in elementary school, and more boys may have to wait until junior high school or even high school to make a splash. My nephew just graduated from Wuhan University this year. He is now preparing for IELTS and plans to study for a PhD in Europe next year. Another one is the child of my neighbor upstairs. He is now in Germany and preparing to study for a doctorate. After hearing this, everyone feels quite envious in their hearts. Looking at their own children, are they all thinking silently: Hey, our son is a bad student, thisI will probably never achieve such an achievement in my lifetime! But I want to say that these two outstanding boys now, if we could go back to their kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, or even high school, they would still be complete scumbags. My nephew\’s grades in elementary school and junior high school have always been poor. When he was in the second grade of junior high school, he once only scored 30 points on the English test. Looking back now, he admires himself. How could he do so poorly in the test? Even if he did it with his eyes closed, it would be impossible. It only takes 30 points. He waited until he entered his second year of high school, and suddenly one day he realized that if he continued like this, he would have no future in life. So he started working hard. In his senior year of high school, in order to prepare for the college entrance examination, he didn\’t even go home for the New Year. We all advised him to go home, but he refused because he would delay his studies. After such efforts, he entered college. Now he is preparing for IELTS, studying and doing questions seriously every day, even if he is asked to go out to play. And my neighbor even told me that although her son’s elementary school, junior high school, and high school are all prestigious schools, he got into them based on connections, and his grades were basically in the middle and lower reaches. She and the teacher both agreed that it would be good if the child could barely get into college. I never dared to think that my child would become a doctor one day. There are too many such cases. Therefore, when raising boys, parents must be mentally prepared for \”late blooming\”. Can afford to wait. Parents should face and accept the boy\’s slowness with an open heart, accept the child\’s current lack of excellence, and give him time to grow. The second key to raising boys is patience. Because boys\’ mental development is delayed, even if they are compared with girls born on the same month and day of the same year, boys\’ minds are about one year later than girls. When my son was born, there was a girl in the community who was born only 10 minutes before him. From the day we met each other, there were obvious differences between the two of them. When the girl can turn over, Zai Zai can only look up. After the girl has 4 teeth, Zai Zai has only one. When the girl can crawl freely with both hands, Zai Zai can only step back. The biggest difference is in language ability. When the girl can say to me and my dad clearly and completely: \”Hello, uncle and auntie,\” my kid still pronounces single words: \”ball, ball!\” These differences are obvious. When the performance gap between girls is relatively large, as a mother of a boy, you must be patient. Don\’t compare boys with girls. When boys have poor grades and poor performance, they must be able to bear it and work with the boy to find motivational methods that suit him. Enrollment now usually involves children in September of the previous year and children in August of the following year. So if a girl born in September meets a boy born in August, imagine that the mental gap is two years. Naturally, we will find that no matter how hard the boy works, there is still a gap compared with the girls in the same class. . Everyone must accept this reality. Not comparing with girls also means that you cannot compare the performance of boys with your own childhood. Nowadays, most of the work of tutoring children with homework is done by mothers. Mothers have limited experience. So in the comparison of limited experience, they either compare the child\’s performance with the performance of other children, or compare the child\’s performance with their own performance as a child. . MotherThe childhood is also the childhood of a girl, so the mother\’s consciousness, hard work, and seriousness are also different from those of the boy. The mother can do it, but the boy cannot. So it would be very unfair to boys to compare their own performance with that of their children. Allow them to slow down and give them more time to think and react. The third important point in raising boys is to respect the rules of boy\’s brain development. If you look at this picture, we will find that the brain structures of boys and girls are different. Girls have a stronger ability to perceive sounds and language. Boys have greater visual and motor abilities. This is also the reason why there is a big difference in the performance of boys and girls after they go to school. Most of our current education methods are taught by teachers. During this teaching process, boys cannot understand many languages ​​​​and vocabulary. If they do not understand, they will naturally not be able to concentrate on listening. Girls are naturally strong in language skills, and it is easier to understand and listen. If you understand, the effective time of class will be longer. This is also where the gap in class performance between boys and girls is quite large. Only when the boy grows up and his language ability becomes stronger, his understanding ability will be enhanced. Therefore, in the process of raising boys, we must also avoid some situations. First, be sure not to let them hear too many stories. Reading ability is two actions, reading is seeing, and reading is listening. Watching and reading at the same time allows your brain to think. Therefore, cultivating a boy\’s reading ability also requires making the child\’s eyes move. When the child is 0-3 years old, he must be allowed to read more of these books, such as flip-through books and hole-in-the-eye books, so that boys can learn to read first. After learning to use picture books to observe, think and imagine, you can then use reading to accumulate language. During the process of looking at the pictures, you can also ask some simple questions to let the children get used to observing and thinking at the same time. Usually, you should also take your children to do games such as connecting lines, mazes, Schulte grids, quick memory, board games, etc. to cultivate observation, thinking, and logical abilities. Secondly, we need to strengthen boys’ sports. Many mothers feel that boys cannot sit still and wonder if their children have ADHD. In fact, the problem with so many boys is not that they can\’t sit still, but that they don\’t exercise enough. When I was learning meditation, every time the teacher would ask us to do stretching for an hour to get our bodies moving. Only when the energy of the body is released can we calm down. If you want your children to quietly concentrate on class and do their homework, they need to exercise first to release their energy. Because children are different from us adults. Children are full of energy and full of vitality every day. If this energy is not released, the child will not be able to sit still and will want to move all the time. Another is that when there is insufficient exercise, the control of the muscles is also insufficient, and the muscles will want to move involuntarily. It is very sad that our current school education requires children to be quiet, for fear that they will get into trouble, and does not allow children to run freely during class. Girls can barely do it, which is very cruel to boys. If we ask them to continue sitting quietly as soon as they come home from school, then the boy will be more and more oppressed by hormones, and you will find that no matter what method you use, whether it is playing or anything, he cannot sit still. Nowadays, children are under great pressure to do homework. Some mothers want to force their children toZi studies and stares. Sitting for four or five hours. Efficiency is getting worse. Therefore, if you want your children to be efficient and learn effectively, be quiet. Then you must let him move every day. I would also like to remind everyone here that this activity is not about random movements or allowing children to play freely. Instead, spend 20-30 minutes doing some regular exercise. You can let your child do rotations to train his vestibular sense. You can also let him hang a horizontal bar, walk around the flower bed, or ride a bicycle to enhance his balance. Standing long jump, skipping rope, trampoline, shooting ball, etc. can all help children exercise. In short, as long as the mother follows the boy\’s physical development rules, patiently accompanies the boy, and gives him more space to grow, one day, the boy will naturally grow into a tall tree standing tall.