A good child turns into a little devil. How to deal with the education of a scary two-year-old?

Time flies so fast. Beckham is already one year old and one month old. Just when his brother Rooney is gradually out of rebellion and returning to rationality and sensibleness, Beckham, the original angel-like good boy, has begun to enter the first rebellious period in his life. Terrible Two\’s The signs are becoming more and more obvious. Before he was one year old, Xiaobei had always been very quiet. He would often go to bed after eating and would not cry when he woke up. He could play quietly for a long time by himself. He would never make a fuss when sitting in a stroller when going out, even if he occasionally did. Feeling uncomfortable, he just hummed softly. I always thought that God must have sent this little angel to save me because he saw that I was tortured so badly by his brother. However, it was not until recently that I discovered that I was wrong. Every child has his stubbornness, but the time has not yet come. After one year old, the originally gentle and lovely Xiaobei seems to have suddenly changed into a different person. He will never cooperate with you quietly and honestly as before, no matter what he does, such as eating, bathing, dressing, brushing his teeth, sleeping… He will try his best to resist. You have to give him what he wants immediately. You can\’t stop him from what he wants to do. If you don\’t follow his wishes, he will scream angrily. The scariest thing is that there seems to be nothing you can do about this \”little stubborn donkey\” who is always confrontational and angry. No matter you comfort him in a low voice, divert his attention, or reason with you, you can\’t make him change at all. idea, and most of the time he would get punched and kicked. Not long ago, I had just finished getting angry at Rooney, and then I turned to Beckham and smiled softly. Now, it\’s the other way around. He often looks at Rooney who is practicing the piano obediently with a smile, but is upset by Beckham\’s crying. Alas, the mother of the second child is always in such a state of schizophrenia. I feel more and more that raising children is like an adventure. You often just adapt to a stage and finally want to breathe a sigh of relief. However, the child will not wait for you, but quietly enters the next stage of development, so you We have to prepare ourselves at all times to face a new round of challenges. However, after having the experience of being the oldest child, I felt much calmer when faced with the Terrible Two, the second child again. Sometimes when I saw Little Bei crying, making a fuss, and rolling around, I felt that the child was really frank and cute. From the anxiety of raising the eldest child to the calmness of raising the second child, not only because I have rich experience, but also because I respect and understand children from the bottom of my heart. As long as you understand what the terrible two years is about, you will also have infinite love and compassion for the child who behaves and behaves unreasonably. Babies before 6 months old are in the stage of omnipotent narcissism. They think that the world is completely under their control. If they think about it by themselves, their wishes will come true immediately. You see, don’t you? When I\’m hungry, sleepy or cold, if I cry a little, someone will come over to feed me and put me to sleep. It\’s like wind or rain. And the mother\’s precise response to this need gives the baby the illusion that mother and I are one and symbiotic. After 6 months, the child slowly realized that his mother was separated from him, and his demands were not always met immediately, so he began to feel frustrated and lost. 8,After he could crawl at 9 months, he began to break away from the arms of adults and explore the world. When he was nearly one year old, his self-awareness began to sprout. One day he suddenly realized, \”I can crawl and walk. I no longer need the help of my parents. I have the ability.\” When you do what you love,” the rebellion begins. As this awareness increases, he feels more and more that he is an \”independent and free person\”. He is eager to prove his power to the outside world through actions. He wants to control everything, but because of his limited ability, he cannot control anything. This This extremely mismatched gap between \”ability\” and \”desire\” made him feel deeply depressed and powerless, but he could not express this entanglement and pain in words. So, in addition to anger and crying, he also What can be done? Some adults do not understand the psychological characteristics of children. When faced with children\’s stubbornness and crying, they always reprimand the children for being ignorant and having a bad temper. Some even beat and scold the children. As everyone knows, it is precisely because of your suppression and incomprehension that This will make the child cry even more. He is declaring his independence! As long as you observe and experience it carefully, you will find that every time he cries, he is declaring to the world – \”Please treat me as an independent person!\” Once we understand this, it is not difficult for us to deal with this The little devil: 1. Let go appropriately and provide effective support. Recently, I ran into trouble when feeding Xiaobei. He always tried to take the spoon from my hand. If I didn’t give it to him, he would scream and struggle to stand up from the dining chair. He got up and refused to sit down and eat properly no matter how coaxed he was. Later, I had to give him the spoon, and I saw him holding the spoon and awkwardly reaching into the bowl to fiddle with it. Only then did I realize that he wanted to use the spoon to scoop out the rice himself. Since then, every time I feed him, I will prepare two spoons, one for me to feed and one for him to play with, which finally solves the problem of eating. Children of one or two years old are like this. They like to imitate adults most. They will do whatever you do. They want to try everything and don’t want your help. However, we are always worried that they can’t do it well, or that they are in danger, or that they are afraid of others. Troublesome, so I always want to stop him and do things for him, which conflicts with the child\’s needs. No wonder he wants to fight against us. I believe that every parent hopes that their children can do things independently as soon as possible, but our approach often goes in the opposite direction. Just imagine, can a child suddenly learn to eat, dress, and bathe on his own without a lot of trial and error? Therefore, when faced with a child\’s willingness to do things independently, our principle should be: let go if you can, and let the child try to his heart\’s content! Of course, the premise is to ensure safety. If it is dangerous, try to put it away and put it where he can\’t see it. Letting children do what they can can not only avoid many unnecessary struggles, but also give them a sense of accomplishment and enhance their self-confidence when doing things independently. Why not? However, the child\’s movements are so clumsy. He couldn\’t put the spoon in his mouth for a long time, and the rice grains were scattered everywhere. His posture when holding the pen was wrong, and he couldn\’t even draw a straight line. He couldn\’t put on his clothes for a long time. I was really afraid of him. He\’s caught a cold… In this regard, we must resist the urge to help him or do it for him, and wait patiently, unless the child takes the initiativeAsk for your help, otherwise you must not disturb him. For children, the best parents are like this: when I am focusing on doing things, you will not disturb me, and when I need you, you will appear in front of me immediately. 2. Change the expression and say less \”don\’t\”. I don\’t know if we have this experience. The more you tell your child not to do something, the more he will do it. For example, see him tremblingly pick up the table and put it on the table. A glass of water, you can\’t help but shout: \”Be careful! Don\’t spill it!\” At that moment, the fruit actually spilled! For another example, when you see him eyeing your most beloved vase, you have no time to stop him, so you have to shout: \”Don\’t touch that vase!\” As soon as you finish speaking, he immediately picks up the vase! Why do children always like to fight against you? In fact, when you tell your child not to do something, what he often hears is exactly what comes after \”don\’t\”. If you don’t believe it, let’s do an experiment: try closing your eyes and saying silently “Don’t think about blue horses, don’t think about blue horses…” At this time, no matter how hard you try, there must be something in your mind A blue horse will appear. Therefore, unless you have to, try to say \”no\” to your child as little as possible. Try to change your words and turn your child\’s attention to what you want him to do. For example, if you see him carefully holding a glass of water, don\’t say \”Be careful not to spill it.\” Instead, say \”Baby, pay attention to holding the water level and walking slowly.\” If he wants to grab another child\’s toy, instead of saying \”Don\’t grab it,\” say \”Baby, That’s my sister’s toy, your toy is here,” and then gently picked him up. In addition, when you want your children to cooperate with you in doing something, giving two or three choices is more effective than direct orders or questions, such as: \”Shall we play for two more minutes or go home in three minutes?\” \”You?\” Do you want to take a shower or brush your teeth first?” “Do you want to wear white clothes or red clothes?” Sometimes, you can also use some “animated” language to communicate with your children, because in the eyes of children, everything is alive. , are all dialogue-able, so when we want to put away the toys, we can say, \”Baby, the little rabbit is tired and needs to go home to rest. Let\’s play with it again tomorrow.\”; when getting dressed, the child refuses to reach out. We can say, \”Little master, come in quickly. The little bear on the clothes wants to lie on you.\” When we want to turn off the lights and go to sleep, we can say, \”The lamp has been on for a long time and I feel tired and sleepy. Let it rest too.\” \”. In short, when communicating with children, use less hard words and more soft words. 3. Tell your feelings and give empathy. Sometimes, although we have let the children try as much as they like and communicated with them in various ways, the children will still encounter frustrations, grievances, anger, yelling, and random comments. temper. When we see a child starting to lose his temper and cry, we must first keep calm and not be disturbed by the child\’s emotions. We should not label the child as a \”bad boy\” with a bad temper. Instead, we must try our best to Understand why he is crying. No matter how trivial or unreasonable the reason for his crying seems to you, we must pay attention to his feelings and try to help the child express what is in his heart: \”You are very important.\”Do you want this toy? \”Mom knows you still want to continue playing outside.\” \”You hit your head and it hurts!\” \”When we speak out the child\’s thoughts correctly, the child will feel that he is understood and truly seen by you. At this time, he may cry even harder. That is because he feels safe and releases as much as he wants. The annoyance, grievance and pain in his heart. When a child starts to vent his emotions, we must help the child define his emotions, that is, put appropriate labels on the emotions: \”My brother doesn\’t want to give you his toys. You are sad.\” ? \”You really want to play outside for a while, but now you have to go home, you are really sad.\” \”\”The blocks I just built fell over again. I\’m so frustrated! \”Are you disappointed that you can\’t go out to play when it rains?\” \”The lights are turned off and the room is dark. Are you a little scared?\” \”When children experience strong negative emotions such as sadness, sadness, frustration, disappointment, and fear for the first time, they will feel panicked and don\’t know what\’s wrong with them. At this time, put the correct label on his emotions and let him realize When you understand your emotions, your inner fear disappears. I have experienced the power of labeling emotions. Rooney loved to cry when he was a child, and every time he cried, it was loud. Once, He was building blocks, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn\’t build more than two layers before falling over. So he started crying and rolling on the ground, and no matter how much he coaxed him, he couldn\’t do it. Later, I took a deep breath and looked at him squarely. His eyes said, “Baby, you know what? What you are feeling right now can be described in one word, that is frustration! The blocks never fit together, and you feel frustrated. Come on, say it with your mother – frustrated! \”He suddenly looked at me blankly, \”Frustrated! I feel so frustrated! Wuwuwu…\” He kept repeating, \”Frustration! Frustrated! Frustrated! \”As if by magic, this wild horse was finally trapped, and he quickly calmed down. Of course, it is not easy to do this, facing an emotionally out-of-control and unreasonable little monster. , it is difficult to control your own emotions, let alone detect and express your child\’s feelings. However, no matter how difficult things are, I hope you will try to practice! The hard work now is for future happiness! As long as we insist on doing it, the children will gradually learn to express their thoughts and emotions correctly and learn to self-comfort, and then there will be less and less crying and fussing. Remember, every time a child loses control of his emotions, it is The best educational opportunity, don’t be afraid, welcome it bravely! Children see everything you do and imitate it all the time. The terrible two years old is just the first adolescence in life. Although everything is going crazy, But it is the only way to grow up. If he can get the tolerance and understanding of his mother and build a good sense of security, then he can make a good separation from his mother, successfully pass the anxiety period of entering kindergarten, and become more mature and independent. Summary Get up, there are only four words to deal with the little devil at this stage, that is – love and respect!