The 6-year-old son said, I have a girlfriend, and my mother’s answer was amazing!

I asked some friends who are mothers, if your 6-year-old son ran home and said to you seriously, \”Mom, I have a girlfriend, and I love her very much!\” How would you react? Some said, \”Haha, I\’m convinced that my brat is so powerful…\” Some said, \”If a brat talks about \’love\’ at a young age, he definitely can\’t take it seriously.\” Others said, \” Is it the \’sensitive period of marriage\’? It will be fine after a while…\” I asked without giving up. The child is very serious and doesn\’t want to have a serious chat? The mothers responded to me in unison, \”Is it that exaggerated? What does a 6-year-old know?\” I ask this question because a very interesting little story I saw recently gave me a lot of inspiration. A mother in the United States shared her experience on a news website. Her 6-year-old son came home from school one day and said this to her. Her reaction? I neither laughed at my son nor belittled him, but I also discussed this topic with my child seriously. What do you like about that girl? What did you talk about at lunch? What games do you play together on the playground during recess? She said: \”I want to take his feelings seriously, because for him, falling in love for the first time is the most serious thing in the world.\” But she didn\’t just stop at discussing these issues, her bigger purpose was actually Want to instill your own values. This mother would never call that girl \”your little girlfriend.\” She didn\’t want her son to have frivolous feelings toward that girl, and she didn\’t want to joke to her son that there would be a lot of girls to pursue when he grew up. She respects the feelings of a 6-year-old child and also wants him to understand that we need to respect girls\’ opinions and respect their bodies. \”We always think that boys start to be told to respect women when they receive sex education courses in high school or college. But now that my son has a girlfriend, I have a way to make it more understandable for him. Tell him \’respect\’ and \’agree\’ with these concepts.\” In the following days, she would often find opportunities to talk about the girl her son liked. During the chats, her 6-year-old son gradually understood what \”Respect\”, what is \”agree\”. He knows that if he wants to hug a girl, he has to ask her beforehand. He knows that it is rude to call a girl \”my girlfriend\” and that it is better to use her first name when talking to others. He also realized that if he wanted to give a girl a gift, what he had to do was wait patiently for her response, rather than asking endless questions or giving more gifts, because this might cause a lot of pressure on the other person. . Many times, we overestimate children\’s language ability and underestimate children\’s understanding ability. A 6-year-old child can also understand the meaning of \”respect\”. I really admire this American mother. She found a small entry point and passed her own values ​​​​on getting along with the opposite sex to her son\’s spiritual world very naturally, making him easily accept and follow it. I sighed secretly, this is the wisdom and art of being a parent, moisturizing things silently, with intention but no trace. Thinking about how eager we are to instill something in our children, weI think it is important to give them something, but the German philosopher Steiner said that all education is self-education. As an independent individual, a child only absorbs what he is willing to absorb. Since the traditional art of beating and scolding children has been banned, as parents, more energy has been spent on – when and how to say it to the child, so that the child can listen to me? And finding \”teachable moments\” in life becomes crucial. When I was getting along with children, I gradually discovered that finding the \”teachable moment\” and speaking a few words to the children may be more effective than nagging them a hundred times. I remember once, I bought a dollhouse for Xiaopai and Ningning. The two sisters were so happy that they started playing house around the dollhouse. Watching the two of them, sitting in the living room, immersed in the game every word, I sighed that it was the most beautiful picture in the world, and my heart was filled with flowers. When Xiao Pai was in the mood to play, she said: \”Ah, why do I feel a little thirsty?\” Ning Ning immediately straightened her short legs and stood up, saying in a sweet voice: \”Sister, I will go with you. Pour the water.\” He said and ran to the place where the water was poured. I stood by and saw the opportunity and interjected: \”Haha, Xiao Pai, you see your sister really loves you, you must also love your sister well.\” Xiao Pai looked at me happily and said proudly: \” Of course, I love my sister so much.\” When Ning Ning heard this, she giggled non-stop and threw herself on her sister. The cute bubbles of the two children are about to fill the whole room. But God knows, when their relationship was bad, they would quarrel and fight with a level of force that would overturn the living room. If I wait until they finish fighting and say to Xiao Pai: \”You can\’t do this to your sister, she loves you very much.\” Xiao Pai will probably roll his eyes to his hip joints and say, \”What the hell, my sister doesn\’t love me anymore.\” Maybe he would even list all the crimes committed against my sister, leaving me speechless. Yes, if you want to deepen the connection between sisters, it is not to draw a line to force a dialogue when there is a rift in their relationship; it is to add a touch of ink to their beautiful moments when they are deeply connected. , and their feelings will be more meaningful. I have always attached great importance to the mutual help and friendship between sisters. This simple value has gradually been injected into their daily lives. Carefully summarizing the \”teachable moments\” in life, there is actually nothing special. I roughly divide them into three categories: 1. When the child is in a good mood. Because at such moments, children’s hearts will be more open, and they will have more room to accommodate the words we say and the values ​​we want to convey. 2. Moments of shared attention with your children. For example, reading picture books together, watching videos together, listening to music together, and encountering something together. I remember that I used to go shopping with Xiaopai, and I met a stranger on the road who asked me for directions. After I answered my question, I reiterated that sentence to Xiaopai. You see, if strangers need help, they will ask for help. Will ask children for help. Xiaopai remembers this sentence very well. 3. When children ask questions. Whenever a child asks a question, she may be really confused, she may be asking for help, or she may be raising doubts… a safe approach, I will tryThen asked her, what do you think? When the child expresses her point of view, I can understand what she wants to ask and how much she knows about the problem. And the specific \”teaching\” of such a \”teachable opportunity\” becomes more precise. A mother once asked me, Xiaoli, how can I get into the heart of my child? I smiled helplessly and replied, You have to ask your child. In fact, as long as we observe carefully, every parent can find the \”teachable moments\” of his or her children. It can lead us quietly into the children\’s hearts and gently sow seeds. We are gardeners, not carpenters.