Patience has become a luxury for raising children

How long has it been since you played patiently with your children? Do you have the patience to watch your children do one thing attentively? Do you have the patience to listen to your children’s questions? Recently, when I am reading or writing a manuscript late at night, I will hear this voice in my heart. In the past, when Xiao Xiaoyu didn\’t go to kindergarten, we had a lot of time together. Sometimes I don\’t get up until 9 o\’clock in the morning. After washing, we go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. I remember that there was a breakfast shop selling noodles at the entrance of the vegetable market. Every time I would eat a bowl of noodles with him here, and then make a cup of tea and chat with the boss under the shade of the tree. As for the children, they would chat with the young proprietress. Play, auntie calls out. Time passed very slowly back then, and there was no rush. But what about now? A child\’s life has changed since he went to school. And I seem to be used to such days. But when I calmed down, I felt anxious and uneasy in this busyness. It fills up some of the good things in my heart. For example, patience is getting less and less. Patience has become a luxury product in our era. We no longer have the patience to write a long letter to a friend. I don’t have the patience to read a book seriously. Didn\’t even have the patience to have a good meal. …Especially when it comes to people we are close to, it is easy to lose our temper with them and feel impatient and full of dissatisfaction. This is true for children, and it is true for parents and elders. I remember one time, my grandma’s kitchen range hood stopped because she was not familiar with the operation. And when I need to put down what I\’m doing and open the ceiling to restart. Impatiently, I complained there. And she nervously explained to me from the side, saying that she didn\’t know how to do it. Finally, I said to her angrily: \”I don\’t want you to cook anymore. Don\’t touch it in the future. It\’s dangerous!\” I knew that I had a bad attitude and was too tempered, so I apologized to her later. Of course she wouldn\’t care about me, but she felt in her heart that she had caused me trouble. Thinking of going to live with my aunt. Later, my father-in-law came to my house for a few days, and we happened to be out for two days. He taught grandma how to use the range hood and gas stove. Then, she really learned it. This time when I came to my house, I started frying beans brought from my hometown. She is in her 70s and wants to do something, but she looks like a child in front of these tools. When faced with new things, I don’t know how to get them. well! Why don\’t I give her a little more patience? We are even less patient with children. Even when the children are playing seriously, the parents are eager to push the children. I still remember the park I often took my son to. There were many children’s activities there. There is a place for graffiti. I often go there and watch the kids graffiti. I remember one time, I saw a little boy in red clothes painting quietly. His mother was sitting next to him. He kept looking at his phone and urging his child, \”Hurry up! Add a little color here, you are stupid, hurry up, everything is slow.\” \”Why are you in such a hurry? Mom\” ​​\”Because Mom has something to do and I have to send you home.\” \”Aren\’t you staying with me for half a day today?\” \”Hurry up! I won\’t draw anymore.\” The child could only lick his lips and hurry up. Holding the pen, I want to paint it as quickly as possible. I didn\’t think of getting the paintflipped. At this time, my mother lost her temper and complained that he was clumsy and procrastinating in doing things. But can you blame the child? If you were patient, let him paint in peace. This is certainly not the result. Let the child suffer this anger in vain. But if you think about it carefully, have our children rarely suffered this kind of anger? It\’s just that they are so small that they can\’t resist your refusal. When a child comes over, he always says: \”Don\’t bother me, just go and play by yourself.\” When I go to school in the morning, I always remind him every 10 seconds: \”Hurry up, hurry up, I\’m late.\” Will yell at him. When a child makes a mistake, he immediately chases after him to correct it: \”I only counted to three, hurry up, you are responsible for the consequences!\” Give the child homework help, and finally loses his temper in a breakdown: \”Why! I can\’t always learn… …”…Moments like this are unknowingly damaging the close relationship between parents and children. So in the dead of night. You will internally regret your loss of control. Why do this to children? What happened to me? When anxiety takes over you, there is no room for patience. Anxious parents are a common problem in education today. Many people criticize exam-oriented education, but at the same time they continue to provide more training for their children, making up lessons in one class after another. When parents are unable to overcome these anxieties and pass them on to their children, harm occurs unknowingly. Because it’s too slow, and I’m afraid it will be too late if I fall behind. No patience to wait. Just on Saturday, I tutored my children with homework as usual. They don’t have much homework in kindergarten. They usually don’t need to do homework when they go home for five days. But I know many children who have a full schedule after school every day and on weekends. This assignment is to perform a short story in English dialogue. I asked him if it was difficult. It was not difficult at all for him to tell me. I was reading the information posted by the teacher in the WeChat group. Some children read along with the book, some read along with the audio, and one child was able to complete the task without writing, and was praised by the teacher. I said at that time, well, this kid can memorize it without reading. As soon as the little guy heard it, he said, \”I can do it too!\” \”Then you try it!\” As a result, when he started reading, there was no problem with the main words. But the sentence is not complete, and many parts are passed over vaguely. I was a little anxious and wanted to correct him. As a result, the more I corrected him, the more he couldn\’t recite it. The more he couldn\’t recite it, the more anxious I became. Fortunately I didn\’t lose my temper. Because I can still control it, but the tone of my voice still reveals my anxiety and dissatisfaction. It can be seen that the little guy is very nervous. We practiced non-stop there that whole afternoon. In the end it didn\’t work. I controlled my temper and said to him, \”You play first, put the book down, and we\’ll talk tomorrow. I\’ll go get some sleep first.\” Then I comforted myself, \”A month or two ago, English stories like this were just for reading. , he can\’t even keep up. Compared with that time, his ability to express himself now is amazing. Where\’s your patience? Give me some patience!\” But I couldn\’t sleep with my eyes closed. \”Relax once, relax again, fall behind once, and then add one more time, and you will really fall behind.\” This idea emerged. But I quickly stopped again. Faced with the shortcomings of children, parents generally feelin this way. Anxious and restless, I wish I could make up for this shortcoming immediately. But what about the children? In fact, he has been studying hard! Carry it! After I calmed down, I said to him in the evening: \”Dad still believes in you, because your performance now is much better than before. You are still young and you don\’t have enough time to practice English. Let\’s spend more time learning!\” The next morning, I read it again. He could actually read it completely to the book. Although it is slightly less than the unscripted children, I am still happy with the progress. Fortunately, I didn\’t lose my temper and chose to practice with him over and over again. Fortunately, I did not deny him, but chose to believe him. In fact, the child has not changed, he is still sincere, frank, positive and progressive. They move forward slowly according to their own growth rhythm and rules. What has changed is us, our peers. Because patience is slowly disappearing. Please be more patient with your children. What\’s the rush? Childhood is so short and so precious! And life is so long, this is just the beginning…