How to cultivate children\’s emotional intelligence? Learn 3 skills and you will surpass 90% of your peers

Not long ago, Yu Minhong talked about cultivating children\’s social and emotional intelligence at a family education lecture. He shared with everyone the way he educates his son: treat classmates to dinner at the appropriate time to win friendship and trust, be generous and willing to spend money. The money is with others, and he also shared a story from his childhood on the spot. When he was a child, Yu Minhong’s aunt lived in Shanghai and would buy Yu Minhong two kilograms of fruit candies every Chinese New Year. Most children would hide them and eat them all secretly, but Yu Minhong didn’t. He used the fruit candies to help the children do things. To a certain extent, this has also given Yu Minhong a lot of inspiration for his career. Running a business is also about sharing benefits, using benefits to let the best people do things for him. There is a sentence in \”The Weakness of Human Nature\”: \”This world is neither a world for rich people nor a world for powerful people. It is a world for people with a caring heart.\” I believe every parent can realize the awareness of raising children How important is social emotional intelligence for children. However, we often feel at a loss when it comes to how to cultivate children\’s social and emotional intelligence. Today, Minyi\’s mother is here to share with you how to cultivate children\’s social and emotional intelligence. 1. Listen to Minyi’s mother. She was a very introverted and shy child when she was young, and her social skills were basically zero. At that time, my grandma took me. She often faced the situation of me watching other children dancing rubber bands next to her. In order for me to join the rubber band jumping team, my grandma bought a lot of popsicles and took me with her to share with the children. Then, while everyone was eating popsicles, they started asking me what my name was and if I wanted to play together. Under the watchful eye of my grandma, I successfully joined the community rubber band jumping team. Some parents may think this is going well, right? Where are the social skills at zero? In that era when there was no one I didn\’t know in the front and back buildings, there were many children who were kings of children. They could also be called children with extremely high social and emotional intelligence. For example, if the house is playing Snow White, Kid King can always play the princess or prince, and someone who is close to Kid King can also play the seven dwarfs, and I am not playing a passerby who only has one line. A, playing the role of a vicious stepmother or an old witch, in short, a role that others don’t want. When Yu Minhong was young, he dominated others. When I was young, I was dominated by others. But the strange thing is that if a new student is transferred to the class, the teacher will definitely arrange for him to sit next to me. A few years after I graduated from elementary school, I went back to visit my teacher and asked her why. This is what she told me: \”Because you are honest and willing to listen to others.\” Although I was not the king of children when I was a child, I was never excluded from the class. outside various small circles. Because I am willing to listen to others. People are subjective animals. We can find that some introverted children also have a strong desire to express themselves in front of their parents because they feel that their parents are willing to listen. My high school classmate Jiajia always likes to interrupt others when they are talking about their own affairs and then tell her own story. For example, when I said that when I went to buy breakfast today, the store gave me extra change. She will definitely not listen to what you have to say, but will directly interrupt you and tell you a story about buying breakfast. soI believe it’s not just Minyi’s mother who has classmates. I believe Minyi’s mother is definitely not the only one who doesn’t like such people. When we went to college, Jiajia always complained to us about the bad relationship in the dormitory, but no one was surprised. People with low social and emotional intelligence will not be very popular wherever they go. How can we take the first step to help children improve their social and emotional intelligence? Taking Minbao as an example, every time a bedtime story is told, children will have many questions, such as why can the big bad wolf talk? The big bad wolf\’s voice is different from grandma\’s. Can\’t Little Red Riding Hood recognize it? At this time, instead of answering the child\’s questions immediately, I usually say to Minbao: \”Well, mom is also curious, let\’s listen to the story first and then study it together, okay?\” Don\’t let your children interrupt others easily. This does not mean that we should refuse the children to ask questions or express their own opinions, but let them wait. 2. Empathy Empathy, as the name suggests, is to allow children to understand the feelings of others. But when it comes to cultivating children’s social and emotional intelligence, Minyi’s mother wants to say: Empathy is not only about allowing children to understand other people’s feelings, but also about other people’s thoughts and interests. In fact, empathy is one of the innate social emotional intelligence of children. I believe many mothers can find that when a group of children gather together, as long as one of them starts crying, it will often turn into a group of children crying together, and a group of children will cry together. When a child is criticized by the teacher, all the children in the class will be trembling with fear. This is an example of child empathy at its best. Children are very emotionally sensitive, so to improve their children\’s social and emotional intelligence, parents should mainly start by understanding other people\’s thoughts and interests. Zai Yibao is now 3 years old, and the two sometimes play with toys together, but how can a 10-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl have the same interests? Minbao always wanted to take his sister to play with his planes and cars, but her sister only wanted to play with her Barbie doll. During that time, a scene that often happened in our family was that Minbao took away his sister\’s doll and then forced her to give her a car, which made her cry so angry that the two of them started fighting. Minbao was well-intentioned, but he didn\’t understand why his sister didn\’t like airplanes and cars as much as he did. Minyi\’s father told Minbao, \”My sister is a girl, and she just likes Barbie dolls.\” Minbao would always reply that he would ask his mother to give him another brother. This time is actually a good time to teach children to understand others. I asked Minbao, why does my sister like to eat green peppers but you don’t? Minbao thought for a long time but didn\’t answer me. I told him: \”People are different. My sister doesn\’t like cars, just because she is different from you. Just like when you were in kindergarten, some children liked to play with the teacher, and some Children like to play by themselves, which is why everyone is different. What you like may not be liked by others. Even if your mother gives birth to a younger brother, he may not like cars and like Barbie dolls.\” When parents teach their children, they even more We should start from the perspective of life and arouse the child\’s empathy, so that he can truly understand the differences between others and himself, and can also accept this difference. 3. Sweet mouth worldNo one in the world doesn’t like to hear compliments about themselves. Letting children learn to praise others is one of the best ways to improve their social and emotional intelligence. That day, I went out with Minbao, Yibao and my best friend. When we talked about the child, she said that the class held a painting competition and her daughter came home crying so hard that she didn\’t win. My best friend also thinks that her daughter’s drawings are average, but the first child’s drawings are indeed beautiful. I asked her who her daughter voted for, and my best friend told me that she voted for number one. I was very curious and asked my best friend, \”Why?\” Why would you want to be first and vote for other children? My best friend said that she was as surprised as me at the time. But her daughter said: \”Because her paintings are beautiful.\” The first step in teaching children to praise others is to let them recognize the merits of others. In life, parents can guide their children to learn to praise others. For example, after Yibao recently learned some knowledge in kindergarten, he would show it off to his brother when he got home. Of course, his brother would think that what Yibao learned was very childish, so he would sometimes feel very impatient. I told my brother: \”My sister only learns these things because she is young. Didn\’t you also learn these things with your sister when you were young?\” My brother later became fond of giving his sister a knowledge boost, and would also say: \”Yibao today You performed well in kindergarten! It seems you are paying attention to the lessons.\” Like a little adult. Psychologist Lakin Phillips said: \”The reason why many people cannot interact normally and live harmoniously with others is because they did not learn basic social communication skills in childhood.\” Every parent hopes that their children will be able to communicate well in the future. If you integrate well into campus life, you can also integrate well into social life when you enter society. To cultivate children\’s social and emotional intelligence, we should start from the little things around them.