Wake up, stop using mobile phones as a scapegoat for children to commit suicide.

Dr. Tang from Ningbo Women\’s and Children\’s Hospital received two children who made him heartbroken during a night shift in August. One suffered from self-mutilation and the other committed suicide. The boy who committed suicide was called Xiao Meng. After being persuaded and scolded by his father for playing with his mobile phone, he slashed his left hand with a knife, 6 times in a row, until the bones were visible! Fortunately, the radial artery was not injured, and he was rushed to the hospital in time. After rescuing him all night, he finally saved his life. Another 10-year-old boy named Xiaotong wanted to play with his mobile phone, but his aunt stopped him because he was worried that it would be bad for his eyes. As soon as he turned around, the child opened the window and jumped from the sixth floor without saying a word. Due to serious injuries, he was pronounced dead after more than an hour of resuscitation. In the past two years, there have been endless news about teenage suicides related to mobile phones: In August 2018, a middle school student in Yanting, Mianyang, spent all day playing with his mobile phone at home during the summer vacation, so he was educated by his parents. The student then texted \”Goodbye\” to his parents and then committed suicide by jumping into a river. In July 2018, a 16-year-old girl in Qingyang, Anhui Province quarreled with her mother because her mobile phone was confiscated. She ran away from home and jumped into a nearby four-meter-deep river. She called for help and was rescued. In September 2017, a 15-year-old junior high school girl in Hangzhou had a dispute with her family over the use of her mobile phone. She jumped from the 19th floor and died on the spot. In September 2017, a boy in the second grade of junior high school in Zhengyang, Henan Province, was criticized for playing with his mobile phone. He drank pesticides at home in anger. In May 2017, a second-year junior high school student in the Middle School Affiliated to Beijing Institute of Technology had his mobile phone confiscated by his father because his academic performance was unsatisfactory. After asking for the mobile phone to no avail, the child chose to commit suicide by jumping off the building. In April 2016, a 14-year-old boy jumped from the 27th floor in Longgang, Shenzhen because his parents did not allow him to use his mobile phone and died on the spot. Therefore, some people lamented that mobile phones are the biggest killer of children in the information age. However, in fact, the reason why children jump off buildings, cut their wrists, or take medicine to commit suicide is not simply the ban and confiscation of mobile phones. The deprivation of mobile phones is at best the last straw for children. The \”Education Blue Book: China Education Development Report (2018)\” released this year pointed out that approximately 1 in 6 middle school students have had suicidal thoughts, approximately 1 in 14 middle school students have made a suicide plan, and approximately 1 in 37 middle school students have had suicidal thoughts. One of the middle school students has committed suicide. The report pointed out that the main reasons for suicide among primary and secondary school students can be roughly divided into: family conflicts (72 cases, 33%), academic pressure (55 cases, 26%), teacher-student conflicts (35 cases, 16%), and psychological problems (21 cases) , 10%), emotional disputes (11 cases, 5%), campus bullying (9 cases, 4%), and other problems (12 cases, 6%). The root cause of a considerable number of family conflicts is still academic pressure, such as \”parents blame their parents for declining grades\”, etc. There are similar situations in cases of teacher-student conflicts. Therefore, the comprehensive results show that academic pressure is the primary reason for suicide among primary and secondary school students. From the analysis of suicide cases among primary and secondary school students in China, the most typical suicide is an instant collapse caused by long-term study pressure and lack of social support from parents. As mobile phones are a special presence in suicide cases among primary and secondary school students, the research team also conducted researchResearch shows that more than 10% of suicide cases are caused by mobile phones. The results show that in the information age, primary and secondary school students do have a profound psychological dependence on smartphones. However, mobile phones are not the source of suicidal psychology, but more of an inducement for suicidal actions. Being deprived of mobile phones means that children are just carrying out their suicidal wishes. Writer Liu Na once pointedly pointed out: innocent mobile phones are becoming the scapegoat for incompetent education and communication in this era. There is a story in the recently popular Taiwanese educational series \”Your Child Is Not Your Child\”: High school student Jasmine is obedient and has excellent grades. Her life has already been planned by her mother. Her mother wanted her to study medicine at National Taiwan University and then go to the United States for further study. If such a plan deviates even slightly, Jasmine’s mother will scold her hysterically, telling her how much she has paid and how much she has sacrificed. When Jasmine got bad grades, her mother would scold her for being an embarrassment, a waste, causing her parents to lose face, and so on. Even if Jasmine gets good grades, her mother will not praise her, but warn her not to be too proud. Under long-term depression, Jasmine began to lie, steal, self-abuse, have boyfriends, and see a psychiatrist. However, her mother had no idea about this. Finally one day, Jasmine, who was overwhelmed with energy and felt unloved by her parents, jumped out of the window without saying a word and committed suicide. In this impetuous and utilitarian society, many anxious parents regard their children\’s grades as a measure of their children\’s quality, and put more and more pressure and constraints on their children in the name of \”love\” and \”being good for their children.\” These pressures and high demands are constantly stimulating children. Long-term depression and self-denial will make children overwhelmed and suffer without anyone telling them. Mobile phones create an illusory world for children, where they don’t have to work hard to communicate, socialize, or study. Mobile phones help children eliminate problems from their consciousness. As long as the mobile phone is in hand, children can get a moment of relief. Moreover, the world on the mobile phone can be freely controlled, and children can get a sense of accomplishment and control that they cannot get in real life. Therefore, mobile phones have become children’s emotional sustenance and psychological support. Once you take away his phone, you take away his identity, his social connections, and his rare source of fulfillment. When people are deprived of their mobile phones, problems that have been concealed in a peaceful life will erupt in the form of self-mutilation and suicide. Therefore, please do not trap yourself and your children in the cage of \”achievement first\” in the name of love. See the child\’s strengths and strengths, recognize the child\’s efforts and dedication, let the child realize that he is a valuable person, and form a recognition of self-worth. Parents\’ love and recognition of self-worth will give children the courage and strength to challenge hardships and solve problems when they face various problems one after another, as well as mental shocks such as depression, sadness, pain, guilt, annoyance, fear, and anxiety. problem rather than giving up on yourself. So what should parents do if their children have been using mobile phones for too long? The Global Child Safety Organization once issued a reminder that parents need to do their homework when communicating with adolescent children. They should pay attention to: communication is not education, but equal exchange; care about children appropriately and understand their pressures.force; the solution is not to cut off the flow but to divert it. 1. Equal communication is a prerequisite. When parents find that their children spend too much time playing with mobile phones or receive calls complaining about illegal use of mobile phones at school, parents often become furious and criticize, abuse, threaten, intimidate, and even slap and kick their children. However, this is not education, it is just an expression of your own dissatisfaction and resentment. Criticism and accusation from above can easily lead to dissatisfaction and resentment, which not only does not help the growth of children, but also aggravates parent-child conflicts. Education lacking love and warmth will only lead to children’s conflict, resistance, and extreme self-mutilation and suicide behaviors. Only by communicating with children in a warm and equal way can children be willing to listen and speak, and only indifference and hurt will stay away from children. Mobile phones will not become a refuge and shelter for children. 2. Caring for children is the key. We love children, so we work hard to create more material foundations and provide children with a higher and better platform. However, the fact is that children require more time and energy from us to care for and accompany them. If we do not spend our energy and time on children, we will not be able to deeply understand their personalities, abilities and needs, and we will not be able to educate them appropriately and find the right way to educate them. Some parents themselves have cell phones in their hands all the time and are severe patients with cell phone cancer. In addition to thinking that mobile phones are more important than themselves, children will also imitate what adults do. And your lack of integrity makes your reasoning education become a joke. Research shows that by spending more time with high-quality and focused company after work, children will not always want to play with their mobile phones. Parents\’ love and companionship make children no longer lonely and helpless. It is the most powerful weapon to take children away from mobile phones. 3. Continuous flow of guidance is the best solution. Research has found that most primary and secondary school students commit suicide suddenly, and the process is short-lived, often due to a sudden collapse of willpower or impulsiveness at a certain point in time. Faced with the problem of children\’s mobile phone use, most parents will get angry and take violent measures such as confiscating, smashing, and strictly prohibiting them. This approach is a very serious blow to children who have become accustomed to the company of mobile phones and have developed a certain degree of mental dependence. They are prone to impulsive suicide and self-harm behaviors. Therefore, it is better to avoid neglecting things. Establish rules and time for using mobile phones with your children, and slowly guide your children to spend more time and energy on reading, learning, sports, music and other interesting things, so as to gain a sense of accomplishment from real life. and a sense of value identity, children will not be addicted to mobile phones.