How to get along as a couple, parent-child communication skills!

At the weekend, I took a course. The teacher talked about some ways for couples to get along and parent-child communication skills. I agree with most of his views, such as: being trapped in a cocoon is the result of restrictive beliefs; the unsynchronized growth of couples is the main cause of marital pain; and the harmonious relationship between parents and children is the basis of education. Among them, he talked about the popular term \”original family\” in recent years. His point of view is that no matter what your parents have done, you should be grateful to your parents. After all, your parents gave you life. And posted a video. A girl with no mother and a deaf-mute father who sells barbecue for a living. Because of her father\’s \”specialness\” and humble family situation, the girl is often bullied at school. Her dream is to \”have a better father, a father who can talk.\” However, when she wakes up, she is faced with boundless darkness and reality. . So, she chose to give up on herself and hang out with bad youths. The father was so worried that in order to \”save\” his daughter, he fought with the delinquent youth and finally drove away his daughter\’s \”love partner\”. On his daughter\’s birthday, the father bought a cake to wait for his daughter, but unexpectedly found his daughter committing suicide by cutting her wrists in the bathroom. In the hospital, the father knelt down in order to beg the doctors to save his daughter. The girl lying on the hospital bed had scenes from the past flashing through her mind like a movie: when she was a child, her father would lift her up; when she was a child, his father would gesture to her to eat more, send her to school, and accompany her to do her homework; When I was a teenager, I fell in love early, and my father beat up the bad young people… Just like my father\’s confession: Dad can\’t talk like a normal person, Dad is sorry for you. But dad wants to tell you that the person dad loves most is you. A line of clear tears flowed down the corner of the girl\’s eyes. She stretched out a hand and touched her father who was so tired that he fell asleep beside the hospital bed. A line on the screen \”Love well…those who have always loved you\” made me burst into tears. In this video, the father devoted all his love to his daughter, but due to objective reasons – the father was born with a physical defect and a lack of maternal love – he could not give his daughter everything that a normal parent can give, but this is not his fault . For a young girl who is in the sensitive period of adolescence and is bullied due to family reasons, it is difficult for anyone to bear the weight of life. It can\’t be said that she is ungrateful, I can only say that fate is too cruel to a child. After this calamity, the girl becomes strong and calm. One day, when I look back on the past, I can\’t help but feel in my heart: I am grateful to my parents for giving me life. However, at the moment she decided to give up her life, she must have been thinking: How I wish I had never come to this world. I have always believed that \”gratitude\” is the most true feeling and deepest emotion in a person\’s heart and cannot be demanded. That is, whether you are grateful to your parents is determined by the parents\’ behavior and the direction of their children\’s training. If you are a competent father (mother) and have a deep relationship with your children, your children will naturally be grateful to you. You eat, drink, go whoring, gamble and beat your children, and you fail to fulfill your responsibilities as a parent. Why should he be grateful to you? Some time ago, my brother sent me a missing person notice from the public security bureau of my hometown and asked if he was from our village. Fortunately, my mother is here. I showed the girl’s photo to my mother, and the following conversation occurred: Mom: Isn’t this the child of ××’s family? Me: This is the city officialThe security bureau issued a missing person notice and the child ran away from home. What\’s going on with their family? Mom: It’s better to leave. It’s better to never come back. When her biological mother gave birth to her, she was less than 20 years old. She was not married and had no job. She couldn\’t afford to support herself, so she gave the child to ××. ×× is her biological mother\’s cousin. She has been married for more than two years. child. The couple ×× are not good people. The man does not do his job properly and beats his children when he is drunk. The woman is lazy and often beats and scolds her children. Me: If they don’t like this child, why should they adopt it? Mom (sighing): Who knows. Yan Zi is also adopted. Look how kind your uncle and aunt are to her. Since childhood, the food, clothing and equipment were better than those of my own children. Sigh… I can only say that this child\’s life is not good. When my mother said this, I thought of swallows. Yanzi is two years younger than me, and my brother and I were classmates in elementary school. We went to school together and played together since childhood. We all know that she is adopted and she knows it too. However, she never thought this was a problem, because her parents were so kind to her that we automatically ignored the fact that she was not her biological child. Her father ran long distances, and although he was not often at home, whenever he came back, he would bring her a floral skirt and various cookies and fruits. During the holidays, I often take her to the city to play. For a child who before graduating from elementary school, the farthest place she went to was the town, the best clothes she wore was Deliang, and the best food she ate was egg yolks, how many envious eyes did she win from her friends? So, when she was twelve years old, her biological parents came to recognize her, but she refused to see them. In the following ten years, they came to visit again and again. Yanzi only said one sentence: I will always have only one father and one mother, and that is my current parents. Everyone else is an outsider. In the past, my mother would say, look at Yanzi, who comes to see her parents every now and then, and every year she sends carloads of boxing gifts. Look at you, how many times do you come back throughout the year? A biological daughter is worse than someone else. Oh my God, her home is 5 kilometers away from her parents\’ home, and my home is 500 kilometers away from my parents\’ home. I want to go home every time I have a holiday, but every time my mother says, don’t come back, the road is too long. Or, don’t come back and save some travel expenses. Well, I know she is thinking about me, but I really don\’t like hearing this. I like to hear: Remember to go home during the holidays! Yanzi expressed his gratitude to his adoptive parents with practical actions. The biological parents planted a seed, but it was the adoptive parents who worked tirelessly to fertilize, loosen the soil, and water the seeds no matter whether it was spring, summer, autumn, or winter, or wind, frost, rain, or snow, to cultivate a seedling into a big tree that could face the wind and rain calmly. . So, giving life is worthy of gratitude? Parents all know that it is easy to give birth to a child, but it is not easy to raise a child, and it is even more difficult to raise a child well. For those parents who don’t support their children, don’t use the big hat of “gratitude” to suppress their children. If he is grateful, it is a blessing to his parents; if he is not grateful, his parents are to blame.