In the family education experience, parents must grasp their respective roles

The \”National Family Education Guidance Outline (Revised)\” promulgated in 2019 proposes to \”pay attention to the role of each family member\”. Its starting point is to require family members to clarify their respective role positioning, fulfill their family responsibilities, and create a good environment for the growth of children. Good family atmosphere. As a parent, it is important to grasp your role in family education. Download the complete collection of a real Yu Shiwei lecture: Preschool children\’s family education story case selection, all 156 issues, \”Mothers are not offside\”: Letting go of anxiety and rationally guiding offside is a professional term in sports. Offside in daily life generally refers to people going beyond the scope of their responsibilities. In the family, many mothers do not grasp their role positioning well and do many offside things, which is not only detrimental to the healthy growth of their children, but also has a negative effect. \”Guide the way\” for your son and not \”steal the way\”. As a mother, it is understandable that you have a deep love for your child, but if you try every means to help your child \”get ahead\” of your child\’s education because of your own anxiety, causing the educational involution to become more and more serious, this approach is not worth it. promoted. After the country implemented the \”double reduction\” policy, there are still many mothers who are worried that their children will be surpassed by other children because they do not make up lessons, so it is not uncommon to make up lessons privately. Many mothers fail to see that the growth of their children is a long-lasting \”marathon\” that cannot be determined by a momentary win or loss. In addition, the behavior of \”jumping the gun\” and \”grabbing the road\” is essentially a kind of speculative behavior, which will make children develop a speculative mentality and affect their value orientation and life attitude. This kind of value may allow children to gain temporary benefits at a certain stage or in something, but it will be difficult for children to go far or even stumble on the road of life. Therefore, mothers should put aside their anxiety and not \”fight for the way\” for their children, but help their children find a path that is truly suitable for their development and guide and assist their healthy growth. Don’t be the “general manager” to back you up. In contemporary society, the educational outlook that requires children to only succeed and not to fail or even be mediocre is extremely prevalent, which further aggravates families’ educational anxiety. At present, the irrational maternal power is becoming a trend of the times. Mothers transform themselves into the role of childcare managers, firmly holding the \”power of life and death\” of their children in their own hands, and making detailed overall plans for their children\’s development. . However, children are living people, and taking charge and taking charge cannot replace the child\’s own life experience and growth. The role of parents should be the strongest support for their children. When their children encounter difficulties and need help, when they encounter worries and need to talk about, and when they encounter setbacks and need encouragement, you can give them warmth and strength. Don’t be “your mother”, be “mom”. When it comes to raising their children, many mothers in China like to interfere offside. There is a saying used by many young people to express their helplessness about their excessive concern for their mothers: \”There is a kind of coldness that makes your mother think you are cold.\” It is easy for mothers to make decisions for their children from their own perspective, which can easily lead to children being confused about boundaries. , unable to shoulder one\’s responsibilities well. When a child protests against the mother\’s overstepping, many mothers will confidently say: \”I am your mother, and I am doing this for your own good.\” \”Your mother\” and \”Mom\” are two different things.role positioning. \”Mom\” embodies a kind of equality and care, while \”your mother\” embodies a kind of authority and control, taking intervention in children\’s lives as a matter of course. But a child is an independent individual and has his own life choices. Just as Mark Levy said in the book \”The Shadow Stealer\”: \”You can\’t interfere in other people\’s lives. Even if it is for the other person\’s good, it is theirs.\” Life.\” Father is not absent: Pay attention to companionship and participate in growth. Contemporary psychoanalyst Luge Zhaojia pointed out in the book \”Fatherhood\”: The absence of fatherhood is the misfortune of the family, the sorrow of the wife, and the sadness of the child. , but also the depression of society. In the growth process of a child, the father\’s participation is indispensable. If the father is absent for a long time for reasons such as earning money to support the family, it will inevitably have a series of negative effects on the growth of the child. Understand the father\’s role. In the process of children\’s growth, the father\’s unique characteristics such as independence, confidence, tolerance, strength, and courage have a great influence on the child\’s emotional management, self-identity, physical coordination and movement, exploration and concentration, etc., and will be subtle. It greatly affects the formation of children\’s character and personality development. I once accidentally saw my daughter’s diary when she was in the fourth grade of elementary school. It wrote: “Being with my father is my happiest moment. My father is like a mountain, especially my father’s shoulders, which can both support me and support me.” Lift me up. I love the feeling of sitting on my dad’s shoulders and being able to see the bigger and farther world beyond the obstacles…\” This is the role of dad! Therefore, fathers must grasp their own role and participate in their children\’s growth in a timely manner based on their psychological development characteristics. In infants and young children, fathers should take time out every day to accompany their children to play games, watch cartoons, etc.; in primary school, it is the early stage of the formation of children\’s gender awareness, and the father\’s role is particularly critical. He should take his children to outdoor sports more and pay attention to cultivating them. A boy’s sense of adventure and courage. For girls, their father\’s words, deeds, and attitude towards others will have an important impact on the girl\’s future social ability. Appreciate the educational power of the father. Psychologist Gerdi once said: \”The presence of a father is a unique existence and has a special power in cultivating children.\” In the process of a child\’s growth, the father\’s presence and silent father\’s love are the key to the child\’s psychology and personality. important force for development. No matter how good the mother is, she cannot replace the father\’s special role and important role in the growth of the child. The father\’s education for his children is mainly reflected in two aspects: first, rule education. Compared with mothers, fathers tend to pay more attention to setting rules, that is, children will learn how to establish rules from their fathers. The second is to form gender awareness. As they grow up, boys will imitate their father\’s role and behavior to form their own gender consciousness. Girls often look to their fathers as a reference for their future lives. Adolescent girls may even regard their fathers as the standard for their future husbands. In the process of a child\’s growth, the father\’s presence is not necessarily reflected day and night, but \”presence\” at the important moments in the child\’s life, either to give the child the greatest support and understanding, or to lead them out of a more exciting life. Therefore, “Being a good father requires not only passionate investment, but also educational theory.Arming, training in educational methods and the art of education. \”Exercise the influence of the father. As the \”important other person\” in the child\’s life, the father\’s pattern determines the height that the child can reach in the future. The father\’s rough love is the value orientation for the child to understand the world; the father\’s manliness is the influence on the child. Key factors in the formation of character; the father\’s broad vision and rich knowledge are important sources for the development of children\’s cognitive abilities; the father\’s speech, behavior, and gestures implicitly convey his care and influence to his children. Therefore, a qualified father You must not be absent from your child\’s growth. You must lead your child to understand the wider world and become his strong support in difficult times. This is the role that a father should play in his child\’s growth. Parents complement each other: give full play to their strengths and support each other. The roles in the process of educating children are different, and each has its own division of labor and responsibilities, but it is very necessary to complement each other. For example, when educating children, mothers like to explain things rationally and move them emotionally, while fathers prefer to use It seems more rational to use facts and actions to verify the feasibility of something. If the two cooperate and complement each other, they may have the effect of \”1+1>2\”. Fill in the position in time. \”Filling in\” is also a tactic in sports The term refers to a method of cooperation between players in the game. From a technical level, filling in positions is the basis of collective defensive cooperation. In addition, maintaining appropriate distances and angles between defensive players is the prerequisite for timely filling in positions. Family The same is true for education. Only when parents cooperate with each other, fill in the gaps in time, and ensure that there are no loopholes or blind spots, can they promote the healthy development of their children. Mutual recognition. A good father is \”praised\” by the mother, and a good mother is \”pampered\” by the father. Yes, good children are “loved” by their parents. Parents have a harmonious relationship, affirm each other, and maintain each other’s image and authority. This is undoubtedly beneficial to the healthy growth of children. If parents have any opinions, they can communicate privately. , try not to speak ill of each other in front of the child. The mother can also create more opportunities for the father to participate in the child\’s upbringing process, and see and play more of the father\’s unique \”paternal advantages\” to supplement the mother\’s upbringing. In this way Cooperation not only makes the relationship between husband and wife closer, but also allows children to grow better in an atmosphere of equality, mutual help, and cooperation. The methods are consistent. If parents do not have a consensus or have different opinions on disciplining their children, they will not be able to give their children the inner The required integration will only make the situation worse. Especially when parents have large differences in their views or evaluations of their children, the children will be at a loss or even lose their way. Therefore, parents should not artificially choose between the three. Create a \”triangular relationship\” between them, forming a see-saw relationship situation to avoid adverse effects on the growth of children. Raising children is an art, and parents need to love each other, support each other, and cooperate fully on the road to discipline their children. Only mothers Only by not being offside, by not being absent from the father, and by parents filling each other\’s shoes can children develop their greatest potential and grow into an independent, responsible person who is responsible for themselves. This is also the inevitable way for children to move towards happiness.