What should not be harmed in a child\’s childhood?

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said something very heart-wrenching: Home is a channel for conveying love and warmth, as well as hate and harm. However, filial piety allows us to only see the former and deny the existence of the latter. Therefore, under the banner of \”all parents in the world\”, parents can hurt their children as much as they want, just like their own parents hurt themselves, thus passing on the hatred and hurt. I believe that no child wishes to grow up with injuries. However, as parents, we often hurt our children. Because of their natural weakness, they have neither the ability nor the courage to resist, so they can only suppress the pain in their hearts. But we still have to say to them as a matter of course: \”Mom and dad are here too.\” The result is this, generation after generation, continuing the harm. You know, the best gift a family can leave to its children is the inheritance of love. Don’t leave those injuries we suffered in childhood to our children. Children are not the scapegoat for your childhood pain. Recently, my friend Lily has been in distress due to parenting issues. She said: \”I seem to regard my daughter as my childhood self, and then treat her the same way my father treated me in the early years. \”When she was a child, when she failed to meet her father\’s expectations, his father would use sarcastic words to undermine her self-confidence, scolding her as useless and worthless; when she made a mistake, her father would drive her into the courtyard late at night. Make her stand for a long time, or kick her out of the house. Smart Ikkyu Mandarin full episode download [12 DVD HD 298 episodes] On those terrible nights, she felt as if she had been abandoned by the whole world. Even though many years have passed, the feeling of fear and helplessness still overflows in her heart. Now, as a first-time mother, she seems to have become just like her father. She would also say some depressing and hurtful words to her daughter, and would also pull her daughter to stand in the dark living room. Once, her daughter\’s eyes were swollen from crying, and she asked her aggrievedly: \”Mom, do you not love me anymore?\” At that moment, she blamed herself and regretted it, but not long after, she began to make the same mistake again. As parents, many times we raise our children based on our feelings and instincts. When problems arise, we simply think that the parenting method is wrong. When we change our parenting methods again and again, we find that we are never able to achieve the ideal state. In fact, in the process of raising children, we often carry the shadow of our original family and the experience of childhood growth. If we were hurt in childhood, the integrity, independence, and boundaries of our inner space will be more or less destroyed. If we are not introspective and aware of the trauma in our own inner space, this trauma may reappear in the parent-child relationship, thereby destroying the child\’s inner space. This is called \”intergenerational transmission of trauma\” in psychology. It is the greatest injustice to children to extend the pain of our childhood to our children. They are also independent people, not scapegoats for our childhood hurts. They have their own thoughts and souls, and they are not obligated to bear the same pain as our childhood. Breaking the curse of trauma transmission, don’t let children become like us, giving children a unique and happy childhood is the greatest thing for them.Responsible. Children who grow up with injuries have to spend their whole lives to heal their childhood. Psychologist Adler once said: \”Happy people spend their childhood healing their lives, while unfortunate people spend their lives healing their childhood.\” During childhood, parents bring their children Injury will penetrate into their bodies and minds like poison, and as they grow, the poison will continue to deepen. When they cannot reconcile with their childhood selves, two situations usually occur: one is attacking themselves inwardly, and the other is attacking others outwardly. Feng Yiliang, a senior psychological counselor, once shared such a story. A man who works in the education industry has a pair of lovely children. As the backbone of the family, he is very responsible and is a good father in the eyes of the children. However, his relationship with his wife was not very good. He was afraid to go home and face his wife because he did not know how to communicate with her, and he often even had to communicate through his children. Later, he met another woman who wanted him to divorce his wife. When his wife found out, she threatened him: If he dared to divorce, she would leave this world with her children. When his son knelt on the ground and begged him bitterly not to leave, he could no longer suppress the pain in his heart and cried like a child. It turned out that when he was 8 years old, his father abandoned him because of an extramarital affair. The night his father left, he also knelt in front of his father, crying and begging his father not to leave, but to no avail. Since then, he has told himself that when he grows up, he will not be as irresponsible as his father and must build a happy family. Unexpectedly, now he has left his home scarred. As if it was a curse from his original family, the childhood trauma has been deeply hidden in his heart. Over the past many years, he has experienced it again in another identity. We often say that wounds will heal, but scars will remain with us for a lifetime. It is actually difficult for children who grow up with childhood trauma to establish a positive self-image. The resulting lack of self-confidence and self-worth will, in turn, affect all aspects of their lives. If they cannot get out of the shadow of childhood, they will still live in the shadow even when they grow up. Because the wounded child inside them is trapped in a painful childhood. Be the best parent so that childhood trauma will no longer continue. Dora Chen wrote in \”Getting Out of the Trauma of the Original Family\”: \”The original family can shape our past, but it cannot constrain our present and future.\” Everyone is born with it. With the ability to heal and re-grow, we have the right and ability to rewrite our lives. If we don’t want the pain to be repeated in the parent-child relationship, we must find ways to save ourselves from the pain of childhood. In this way, we can establish a healthy and stable parent-child relationship with our children. ☆Only by facing the pain of childhood can you heal it. Swiss psychologist Jung had a term \”shadow\”, which means that the psychology that cannot be shown in the sun will eventually hide in the shadows, but it will not disappear. Rather, it occurs in destructive ways that we cannot control. The same is true for the injuries we suffered in childhood. We can only face it calmly, face its impact on us, and have the courage to expose it in the sun.. Only by walking towards the light can we truly get out of the darkness. If the injury is too deep and we lack enough courage to take the first step, then we must seek professional help. ☆Accept your own imperfections and reconcile with your childhood self. In the program \”Wife\’s Romantic Travel\”, Cai Shaofen talked about how she was deeply hurt by her original family. When she was a child, because her parents divorced, she had low self-esteem and felt insecure. She felt that she was a burden to her family and even called herself trash. Fortunately, when she grew up, she did not sink into the trauma of childhood and give up on herself. She bravely broke away from the past and reshaped herself with a positive attitude, step by step out of the shadow of her original family. Today, while working hard at acting, she has also received the best love from her husband and children. Perhaps as her husband said to her, there is no obstacle in life that cannot be overcome. As the saying goes, change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed. The pain of childhood has become a fact and we cannot change it, but we can do it to stop the pain of childhood in the past. Learning to accept your own imperfections and trying to reconcile with your childhood self is the best farewell to the past. ☆Let your children be children and let you be yourself. I have read this sentence: \”Children have the right to be children. They have the right to play and act as they please during childhood, and do not have to worry about being blamed for it.\” Cultivated from an early age It is our responsibility as parents to ensure our children\’s independence and sense of self-worth. It is also our obligation as parents to respect the laws of physical development of children and let them grow up freely and happily. If you hurt your child due to childhood trauma, don\’t blame yourself for not being a good parent. In this world, there are never perfect parents, and childhood trauma will never disappear all at once. Every \”injury\” actually gives yourself an opportunity to grow. I just hope that after every \”hurt\”, we can muster the courage to apologize to our children, reflect deeply on ourselves, and never make the same mistake again. The path of parenting is never about changing our children, but about changing ourselves. When we get better, our children will naturally follow our lead. Some people say: The process of raising children, in addition to supporting a child to grow up, is also a self-cultivation! We should not only pay attention to the children, but also pay attention to ourselves. Only through continuous self-awareness and growth can we break the \”curse\” of our original family and no longer leave the pain to our children. Click [Like], I hope every child in the world can have a happy childhood; every parent should learn to love themselves well before loving their children!