How to educate children about stealing money

Not long ago, a mother posted a request for help online, which sparked heated discussions among parent groups. She said that when she was cleaning her room that day, she found that the 100 yuan in the drawer was missing. She didn\’t pay much attention at first, thinking that she had remembered it wrong. Unexpectedly, a few days later, when she was packing her son\’s schoolbag, she found a lot of snacks. After calling his son over and questioning him carefully, his son finally admitted that he had secretly taken the money, bought a lot of candies and potato chips, and ate them with the children, and that he had already spent all the money. She was very confused: her son has been so sensible since he was a child, and his parents never paid any attention to him in study or life. How could he do such a thing? Besides, there was food and drink at home, and he didn’t lack anything, so why would he steal money? Around us, many parents have the same anxiety: It is not okay to steal money at such a young age. Behind the same anxiety are different ways of coping. Some parents will remind them kindly, some will criticize severely, and some will lock the drawer and put away the change. In fact, the matter of \”stealing money\” can be big or small. We must not only educate children, but also go into their hearts to explore the deep reasons behind this behavior. Stealing money is the only way for children to grow up. When it comes to children stealing money, most parents \”cannot stand it\”: My child is so well-behaved, how can he steal things? From a psychological point of view, stealing money is the only way for children to grow up. Psychologist Piaget divided children\’s moral cognitive development into four stages: Undisciplined stage (0-4 years old): When you see something you like, you will take it for yourself. Heteronomous stage (4-8 years old): Focus only on results and ignore motivations. Self-discipline stage (8-10 years old): The moral level is in its initial budding stage. Justice stage (10-12 years old): moral sense has further developed. Young children do not have a clear concept of \”property rights\” and they cannot correctly distinguish between \”mine\” and \”his\”. I once saw a video of \”Dad soul tortures his daughter for stealing\”. After his 4-year-old daughter came home from school, her father noticed that she was wearing a pink dress that he had never seen before. Under questioning, the girl admitted that she took other people\’s clothes just because she liked them. Because I like it, I want to have it; because I don’t have it, I want to take it away. This is the simplest and most normal thinking of young children. In fact, many children have engaged in such \”stealing money\” behavior in their childhood. In his article \”Stealing Money\”, the dramatist Wu Zuguang recalled the story of his childhood. After getting up, I saw a stack of copper coins on the desk, so I took a small part and went to school. As time went by, it became a habit, until one day his mother discovered it. When she scolded him, he told her in shame that he wanted to buy a table tennis racket and a tennis net… His mother asked him: This is stealing money and being a thief. Do you understand? When he got up the next day, he saw a box beside his pillow. Inside was the racket and net he had always wanted. He hasn\’t stolen anything since. Only by understanding children\’s growth patterns, learning to appreciate their innocence, and understanding the motivations for stealing money can we let go of our inner anxieties. How to educate children to developgood quality? Watch out for the hidden emotional needs of children behind these 6 Oscar-winning animated short films. Regarding children’s money-stealing behavior, we must not only accept it as “normal”, but also think about the deep-seated reasons behind this behavior. . Psychologist Wu Zhihong told the story of one of his counselors. Because of various conflicts, she was very disappointed with her parents, so she stole their money and deliberately let them know. And when they got angry and beat and scolded her, she would feel an inexplicable pleasure. In her heart, what she really wants is for her parents to understand her loneliness and emptiness. If parents do not realize their children\’s deepest desires, this distorted mentality will slowly become a habit, and over time, it will swallow up their children\’s shame. Professor Goldman of Harvard Medical School in the United States believes that these are their ways of regulating their emotional state to cope with dangerous and traumatic situations. Behind the scenes, there is actually helplessness about real life. On Zhihu, a netizen said that from a good and obedient child to a bad boy who steals money, his parents only saw his \”deterioration\”, but never thought about the reason for it. After having his younger brother, he obviously felt that his parents cared for him much less. They no longer cared about his every move and took good care of his food, clothing, housing and transportation as they did in the past. Feeling left out, he had no other choice, so he kept stealing money, trying to get his parents\’ attention in this way. Many times, what children steal is not money. What they really steal is \”people\”, the parents who can bring them warmth and security. When their hopes fail, they can only use such behavior to cry out and ask for help to replace the missing emotional comfort. There is an old saying in psychology: Where there is no response, there is despair. A child who steals money is not hateful, but pitiful. The handling of stolen money depends on the different educational wisdom of parents. Fu Seoul bluntly said in \”Dear Little Dinner Table\”: He once stole money from an old neighbor. Her family was poor when she was a child and she never received pocket money. Seeing that her neighbor\’s grandfather always put money on the table, she ran to his room, pretended to lean on the table, took a piece of money and quickly stuffed it into her pocket when her grandfather wasn\’t paying attention. Unexpectedly, her actions were discovered by her grandfather. Without saying anything, he pulled Fu Seoul to his side, took out the money, put it into her clothes pocket, and then took her to the grain station, where he saw his mother working hard. Grandpa told her solemnly: Don\’t take detours and be a good child. Fu Seoul has always kept this sentence in mind and it has become his guideline for life. When faced with children stealing money, parents mainly respond in two ways: punitive and non-punitive. Some parents will be very angry and use methods such as criticism, blaming, and violent beatings, hoping that their children will remember their mistakes. However, when children are afraid of their parents\’ violence, they may develop negative self-evaluations, thinking \”I am so stupid and can\’t do anything well\” or \”Mom doesn\’t love me anymore\”, and thus fall into a deep low self-esteem, or they may Go to the other extreme and use violence to vent your emotions. Another way is non-punitive, which is to help children recognize their mistakes and take the initiative to correct their own mistakes.Behavior. A good non-punitive approach should be divided into three steps: Step 1: Learn to strip away emotions. Parents should strip away their emotions, give themselves a time to calm down, separate personal emotions from their children\’s mistakes, and discuss matters as they arise. Step 2: Show positive emotions. Parents should give their children positive guidance and tell them: I love you because you are my child and it has nothing to do with anything else. Step 3: Draw a clear bottom line for behavior. Parents should draw a clear bottom line for their children, allowing them to distinguish right from wrong and understand what can and cannot be done. Only when children can feel the warmth and love of their parents can they let go of their inner grudges and consciously restrain their behavior. The growth of a child is a process of constant deviation and correction. In this process, they will learn experience and gain growth. Wise parents will regard their children\’s mistakes as a new starting point. You must know that the more children correct today, the faster they will grow tomorrow. The key to this is the way parents respond. Good education is all about reconciliation, reconciliation with oneself and reconciliation with children. Give your children one more chance to speak out and express their desires. Give yourself one more chance to let go of your anxiety and gain peace. Give each other one more opportunity so that mother and child can communicate smoothly and blend their hearts.