The best education for boys is this…

Yesterday, the neighbor\’s father got into a fight with his son, who is in the third grade of junior high school. The boy who entered puberty was as strong as an ox, and his father was pushed around. In desperation, his mother panicked and called the police. When the police separated the father and son, the child was so excited that he cried and shouted: \”You hit me first…\” When asked the reason, it turned out that the child was in trouble because he disobeyed his parents\’ discipline. The parents heard that their son had recently become close to a female classmate, and they were worried that his early love would affect his studies. During the meal, I reasoned with the child emotionally, but the child became impatient after hearing a few words, talked back to his mother, and even threw the bowl in a bad way. The father was so angry that he raised his hand to teach him a lesson. Who would have thought that this time, the child would fight back, catching the father off guard. The mother cried: \”I raised something, provided him with food, provided him with drink, and provided him with an ancestor.\” Disciplining children is never easy. \”Mirror\” is China\’s first documentary that exposes family relationships in depth. In it, a mother has a particularly bad relationship with her son. She said: \”Son, you haven\’t called me mom for a long time…\” As a parent, sometimes it\’s really Quite aggrieved. It is obviously for the sake of the children that they are strictly disciplined, but despite their best efforts, the children respond with more rebellion and resistance. Parents give love, why do they receive hatred from their children? In fact, it is because the parents have mismanaged the time. There is a saying in \”The Courage to Discipline\”: The most fortunate thing about raising a child is to give him \”needle sticks\” when he is young and give him wings when he grows up. The biggest fear is that if you were not disciplined when you were a child, your wings will become stiff when you grow up, and you will be unable to control yourself even if you want to. What is the best education for children? A famous educator reveals the secrets of PDF discipline for you. You must avoid such troubles as soon as possible. When he was young, he was reluctant to discipline his children. Now, the family has nothing to do with their ten-year-old son. A few days ago, her child clamored to buy a remote-controlled airplane worth more than one thousand yuan, but she refused: \”I just bought you one, why do you want to buy it again?\” The child immediately fell to the ground and rolled around. The colleague was so angry that he spanked the child. , who would have thought that the child started to cry: \”Help, please call the police for me, someone is beating a minor.\” The child did not give up until the plane was in hand. Now, their family lives in fear every day, fearing that their children will make unreasonable demands, and even more afraid that their children will threaten them. Nowadays, let alone disciplining children, as parents, we are constantly controlled by our children. Research surveys have found that: 5-year-old children\’s obedience to authority is mainly based on behavioral orientation (fear of punishment) and identity orientation (the other party is an adult); 10-13-year-old children\’s obedience to authority is mainly based on knowledge orientation. Starting from the perspective (whether the other party is an adult is no longer important, convincing people with reason is the most important). In other words, the younger the child, the easier it is to control him because he is afraid of being punished; the older the child, the harder it is to control him because he will not admit defeat even if he is beaten to death. Therefore, you must discipline your children as early as possible. The earlier you set rules for your children, the easier it will be for your children to develop good habits. Many parents often feel that their children are too small, and they cannot bear not to satisfy their children\’s wishes, let alone their children crying. But true love, as Montessori said: \”Freedom based on rules is true freedom. Similarly, love based on rules is true love.\”\”An early education expert taught the skills of preventing children from being addicted to TV: \”First of all, of course, parents should set an example and watch less TV; secondly, set rules for their children, the earlier the better. \”Experts said that when his son watched TV for the first time when he was more than two years old, he made a rule: \”You can only watch three episodes of cartoons.\” Of course the child was unwilling, so he forcibly turned off the TV. The child naturally cried. Grandma felt distressed. Sun Tzu: “I cried so much that my heart ached, what does it matter if I let him watch for a little longer. \”The experts didn\’t care, but gently and firmly asked the children to implement the rules. After crying two or three times, the children accepted the rules. Now, every time they watch TV, they consciously turn it off after watching three episodes. Because they feel sorry for the children, they just let it go. The relationship between children\’s willfulness is really great. Today, if you let him, the three-year-old will know that as long as I cry, you will let me watch more TV; tomorrow, if you let him, the five-year-old will know that as long as I cry, you will let me watch more TV. If I make trouble, you will buy me toys; at the age of ten, the child runs away from home; at the age of fifteen, the child may dare to threaten his parents with suicide! The older the child gets, the more he dares to test his parents’ bottom line, until he begins to despise his parents’ discipline. .Parents\’ love without boundaries is the most indulgent injury to children. Parents\’ giving without rules is the most terrible harm to children. After the child turns 12, parents must learn to show weakness first and then guide them. Professor Li Meijin, Psychology, Public Security University Said: “Before the age of six, your parents’ nagging and words are gold; after the age of twelve, your parents’ words are garbage. Therefore, children\’s education should be divided into age groups. When they are young, they must fight for courage, and when they grow up, they must fight for wisdom. \”If a child does not develop the good habit of obeying the rules when he is young, when he grows up and his self-awareness gradually increases, and then encounters the strong sense of self-esteem in adolescence, it will be good if the child is willing to chat with his parents, let alone being beaten or scolded. Therefore, when educating older children, parents must fight wits, show weakness first and then guide. The father of Chinese Carnegie, Black Young Dragon, once had a son who was a demon king. He had poor grades and was in trouble all day long. Black Young Dragon was helpless after being tormented by his children. , began to study Carnegie Communication, and then mastered the method of educating children. Once, the child stole a pair of gloves in a store. After handling them, Hei Xiaolong asked his son why he stole things? The child said: \”Curious, my classmate I also take small items from the store without being discovered. I want to give it a try. The black young dragon continued to ask: \”Is this a big lesson for you to be curious about?\” The child nodded. The young black dragon knelt down and said, \”You did something wrong, but that doesn\’t mean you are a bad boy. I was messier than you when I was a kid. It doesn\’t matter. We can change it slowly.\” \”After that, the black young dragon never mentioned it again. Later, this \”thief\” became a doctor of medicine and is now the associate dean of the University of Washington School of Medicine. He wrote to his parents: \”Although I did that when I was a child. What a bad thing, but you have always loved me and had faith in me, believing that I am a kind, talented person with great potential. Your patience, tolerance, and never-give-up attitude helped me never give up on myself. \”In this letter, we can see that for children, parents can get into their children\’s hearts better than nagging, beating and scolding: showing weakness can bring them closer to each other, because parents also made mistakes when they were young; accepting and understanding their childrenThe emotion of the moment; giving your children constant love and trust. This has also been scientifically verified. Psychological research shows that the distance between reasoning and accepting truth may be very long. A child\’s ability to accept other people\’s opinions depends first on the parent\’s emotions, then on the parent\’s behavior, and finally on the parent\’s language. It can be seen that after the child is 12 years old, using the \”authority\” of parents to discipline the child is often counterproductive. Only by showing weakness, understanding, and trust can you have the opportunity to subtly guide the correct concepts to your children. A good education gave him acupuncture when he was young and gave him wings when he grew up. Jin Yunrong, a parenting expert who wrote \”Love on the Left, Discipline on the Right\”, treats his son strictly: discipline him when he is young and give him wings when he grows up. When her children were young, she believed in \”discipline in the moment.\” One time, her son threw vegetables on the dining table, and his father immediately took the child out to \”discipline\” him for 20 minutes before returning to the table. When the children grow up, she advocates taking a step back to guide them. She sent her son to a boarding school abroad when he was a teenager. When he came back from vacation when he was 15 years old, the child told his mother: \”I have kissed 6 girls.\” Teacher Jin recalled: \”I was so scared that I almost fell off the stool. Come down.\” But she chose an affectionate conversation between mother and son, and finally asked: \”You know you can\’t do anything else after kissing, right?\” The son replied: \”Don\’t worry, I know, I\’m not a fool, the teacher said, we are now He\’s still young and can\’t be responsible yet.\” Many parents will question Teacher Jin\’s discipline method, how can he let his children be so indulgent? Teacher Jin said: \”We chose a way to let ourselves be lonely but let our children grow up to love him. And because his heart was filled with the love and trust of his parents, he spread his wings and became such an outstanding young man today. .\” In fact, children who have been strictly disciplined since childhood are worthy of \”laissez-faire\” guidance from their parents when they grow up. For children who have not been disciplined since childhood, the path to discipline will only be more difficult when they grow up, making the parent-child relationship even more difficult. Practice has proved that letting things go when you are young and trying to manage them when you are older; both from the perspective of children\’s psychological growth and education, it is very wrong and counterproductive. Education is never easy. As parents, you must remember: if you love him, you must be willing to discipline him strictly when you are young, and prick the needle that needs to be pricked early; if you love him, you must give him wings when he grows up and guide him to freedom. fly.