After the nanny’s arson case, how should mothers deal with the relationship with their aunts?

On June 22, a fire broke out in a high-rise mansion in Hangzhou. Four people were at home. Only the nanny escaped. The hostess and three children died after ineffective rescue efforts. It has now been found that the nanny set the fire on purpose. However, there are many versions of the cause of the arson, but there is still no final conclusion. From the information circulating so far, it can be seen that: First, the family treats the nanny well. The nanny lives at home and earns a monthly salary of 7,500. She once lent the nanny 100,000 yuan. Second, this aunt is a high-end nanny. Not only does she have a driver\’s license, but she can also drive. It has been seven years since my child was born, and I have been using Auntie, so I understand a little bit about the current situation of the domestic industry. Even in foreign-related housekeeping, an aunt who can drive is considered high-end. This news became a hot search topic and became a hot topic, with all kinds of information constantly coming out. There are many mothers of children around me, and my circle of friends is exploding. It seems that there is only one problem left in the world: \”nanny\”. Many mothers have begun to sort out their things, and they feel suspiciously that something is missing at home. Summer vacation is about to begin, and many mothers are discussing what problems will arise if aunts take care of their children for a long time during the summer vacation? Everyone read several articles with photos to prove that nannies set fires, poisoned people, stole money and things, abused children and the elderly, and sabotaged work… For a time, nannies became synonymous with \”devil\”, as if she When they come to our home, they are not here to help us, but to harm us, especially the children! In fact, I prefer to call them \”aunties\” rather than \”nannies.\” Because mother tongue is inextricably sensitive. Although the word \”nanny\” itself does not have a discriminatory and derogatory connotation, it always lacks confidence when introducing yourself as: \”I am a nanny for this family.\” In the past seven years, I have always had aunts at home, and there are several who have come and gone. The first aunt worked for three months. Like all other types of relationships, there was the beauty of first meeting, a brief honeymoon period, and then I discovered that this aunt was very stubborn. I reported to the agency and hoped to discuss this issue with my aunt. In fact, based on my level at the time, I simply couldn\’t make the decision to fire her. After listening to my feedback, the agency said that my previous employer had reported the same problem, and the agency directly helped me make the decision to change my job. I remember her last day at work and my heart was heavy. I gave her a bucket of unopened peanut oil, tea leaves issued by Mr. Lu’s company to relieve the heat in summer, and a red envelope of several hundred yuan. She lives in the outer suburbs and has to change buses twice. There are too many things to carry, so I specially drive her to the bus terminal so that she will have a place to sit. When you are a boss, you will be deeply impressed and guilty about the first employee you fire. Me too, I will always remember it. The second aunt also worked for three months. Three months later, she and her husband decided to return to their hometown, open a small supermarket, and take care of their children at home. The third aunt worked for two and a half years, and then we moved to Shanghai. Before I left, I originally introduced her to another job, but her hometown was very close to the city of Chongqing, so she decided to go home and raise native chickens. The fourth aunt has been working in Shanghai for two years. Her husband is sick and needs long-term care. We decided together,She resigned. A few months later she returned to Shanghai and I introduced her to a friend of mine. The fifth aunt, the current one, will have been doing it for two years in August and is still going on. I admit that those \”devil\” aunts that are going viral on the Internet are all real examples, but as far as I have hired aunts over the years, although the overall cultural level of the aunts is not very high, although everyone has this or Such problems, but there are still most aunts who have clean hands and feet, love children, and are kind and simple. One time, I put three hundred-dollar bills in a little party bag. A few months later, when I was sorting out the clothes for the new season, my aunt suddenly ran over to me with some money in her hands and said, \”You are such a careless person, think about it next time.\” The aunt was collecting things upstairs, even if she had lost the money. From what she knew about me, I had simply forgotten about it. There are many more things like this. Maybe I am a careless person, but anyway, I didn’t find anything missing in my house. Whether an aunt treats her children well or not is actually very easy to observe. Because between the aunt and the child, it is obvious whether they are complicit or hostile. When he first arrived in Shanghai, Sidi was unwilling to accept the change of aunt. Moreover, the aunt felt that Zi Mi was younger and often asked Sidi to let Zi Mi go. Sidi was only three years old at the time, but she would find ways to go against her aunt and make everything go poorly. Later, I discussed this situation with my aunt and Sidi respectively, and asked them to work hard and learn to accept it. Although in Sidi\’s heart, this aunt will never be her aunt, they at least learned to get along and were happy together. We have to admit that not only in China, but even around the world, there are really too few \”aunties\” like those in movies, who wear bow ties and have elegant temperament, like British housekeepers. It’s true, ordinary people like us can’t afford it. The vast majority of women choose to be aunts, whether they are Sichuan aunts, Anhui aunts, or Filipino aunts, or even the Eastern European or African aunts commonly used in Europe. Being an aunt has a low threshold. There is no other way to meet reality. A way of making a living by bowing your head. People are all the same. If one person has to serve another person, there will always be a little unequal grievance in his heart. I remember watching a TV show. A middle-aged housewife who has never worked and has no education. She divorced her husband. In her forties, she must work to support herself. She first worked as an aunt in other people\’s families, and then she found a job helping people refuel at a gas station. Although she is helping others, her income is small, and her morning and evening shifts are very hard, she is happier. She said: \”I think working at a gas station is more suitable for me, because when I am an aunt, I feel like I am cleaning up other people\’s shit, but working at a gas station is a job and I feel respected. \”Over the years, based on my experience, the sensitive part of Auntie\’s job is that we cannot set a performance target and conduct monthly assessments to meet the standards. Every home has so many problems in every aspect. If you want to be picky, no matter what Auntie does, it’s all wrong! Comparing ourselves with each other, we have a direct boss.Tens of millions of alpacas have already run wildly in their hearts, but for Auntie, all the family members will feel that they can command Auntie. Even though Zi Mi was a naughty child under five years old, I looked at her helplessly, leaning on the sofa and looking at my iPad. I shook my hand and said, \”Auntie, I want to eat lychees. You can peel them for me.\” Auntie was mopping the floor. , threw down the mop and went to wash his hands, but I stopped him. I turned around and called Zi Mi: \”You want to eat lychees, but you can\’t reach them. You can ask Auntie to get them for you, but you eat them yourself and peel them yourself. Tell Auntie, I\’m sorry. This is not the way you should talk to Auntie.\” !” Based on my seven years of experience in getting along with aunts, the most important thing is that we must have a clear principle: the family is like a small unlimited liability company, the wife is the full-time general manager, and the aunt is an employee who has applied for a job. My relationship with my aunt is actually that of superior and subordinate colleagues. It\’s just that we have different divisions of labor, but we have to work together to make the daily operations of this family normal. To me, an aunt is not a servant, let alone a servant, but she is not my sister or my friend. We don’t need to have a casual chat or a relationship to deepen our feelings for each other. In modern society, it is an inevitable trend for women to go out of the family to work. So in the days to come, finding a suitable aunt is also a very important and unavoidable issue. It is true that there are various problems in the housekeeping industry. It is true that no one can avoid that we will encounter a vicious aunt who seeks wealth and murder, but not all aunts are like this. As the full-time general manager of an unlimited company, how to face and deal with aunties can only reflect a woman\’s emotional intelligence level. But, no matter what, the first point is to respect our aunt!