Childhood experiences have a greater impact on personality than you think…

In the recently popular \”My Boy\”, there are actually many psychological phenomena that can be discussed. Zhu Yuchen was once pushed to the forefront because her mother\’s behavior was too typical. In fact, this kind of family is just the daily life of Chinese families. I don’t know how many there are. In the program, this way of parents sitting in, watching their children living alone and then commenting on them can bring more family information as a reference for the children\’s behavior, allowing us to concentrate in a relatively compact and independent space. See the relationship between parents’ personality, family atmosphere, and parenting style and children’s growth, personality, and behavior. Although there are many schools of psychology, one point of view that almost all schools agree on is that childhood experiences have a great impact on a person. Many of us basically agree with this point of view. In fact, the impact of childhood is not only big, but bigger than you imagine. In \”My Boy\”, Chen Xuedong is also a typical character. His parents divorced when he was young, so he was fostered in a relative\’s home, and he often rotated between your home for a few days and his home for a few days. A child who comes from such a family and upbringing experience is, first of all, unhappy. When I was a child, my parents divorced and I didn\’t live with either parent. This was a severely traumatic experience. In the show, he once hugged his teacher and cried bitterly in the KTV. What he kept saying was: I am not happy, I am not happy. Two teddy bears are his most loyal companions. Chen Xuedong\’s character seems to be very gentle, he knows how to take care of others, and he is very delicate. This type of person takes care of others and is very delicate in order to please others. Because the experience of being fostered in other people\’s homes since he was a child – even if it is his own relatives, as long as it is not his parents, it is not his home – the experience of being fostered in other people\’s homes since he was a child has taught him to observe people\’s emotions. Only by pleasing others can you live in other people\’s homes and others will take you in. Although he takes care of others gently and carefully, he neglects to take care of himself. The two scenes of a friend\’s birthday and his own birthday are a good comparison: for his friend\’s birthday, he personally cooked a table of delicious food, which was amazing; but for his own birthday, the decorated home was empty. , I was still sick and went to bed early. As a result, a friend came over, and the two of them ate takeout, as well as overnight meals that had been packed in the refrigerator for who knows how long. Even the younger generation advised him to be kinder to himself. Also, he cares about the kindness of others and wants to repay it immediately. A friend bought him a head massager for his birthday, but he asked how much it cost and wanted to send the money to his friend. Although this may be a joke, Freud said: Any joke has a serious element and exposes your subconscious. The long years of foster care have taught him not only to act based on looks, but also to keep the kindness of others firmly in mind, for fear that he will not be able to repay him, and some may even feel that he is not cute enough, or that he is not worthy of the care and concern of others. To care for and to love. Only a child who has been surrounded by enough and strong love from his parents since childhood is confident enough to believe that I am cute, worthy of being loved, worthy of being treated gently by others and the world. So, sinceYou will be kinder to yourself. The influence of childhood on a person is actually something you can see from Chen Xuedong. What can be seen is always just the tip of the iceberg. There are many influences of childhood life that you cannot see, deep in the subconscious, and that is truly terrifying. Because it affects you without you even realizing it. Pengpeng\’s boyfriends were all very good, but as their relationship got better and better, she always lost her temper for no apparent reason, and then began to quarrel frequently, and finally broke up. Where does the inexplicable tantrum manifest itself? For example: her boyfriend called and said that friends are here and let’s go shopping together in the afternoon, and she quarreled; for example, when she was tired from walking on the street, she fell asleep with her pillow on her boyfriend’s shoulder on a bench by the roadside, and she also quarreled when she woke up. …Even she herself doesn’t know why, but she just wants to lose her temper, as if nothing her boyfriend does is right. It’s really “inexplicable”. She turned to me for help. In this world, there will be no truly \”inexplicable\” things. Everything has a reason, especially human emotions. After a long period of consultation, it was discovered that it was actually her childhood subconscious that was at work. When she was young, Pengpeng was always sick, and her parents took her everywhere to seek medical treatment, but to no avail. Whenever her parents were frustrated, they would tell her that she would not be able to get married in the future because of her illness, but what should she do? Pengpeng felt that he was shorter than others, as if he had some shortcomings. In addition, when I was a child, my family was poor and my parents had low self-esteem. They always felt that their family was shorter than others. Therefore, today, although Pengpeng has grown up, at a level that she is not aware of, let alone admits, she feels that she is not worthy of her boyfriend, whether it is her family or herself. Especially when her boyfriend\’s family conditions are better and he is more reliable, the more she feels that she is not worthy of him. So, instead of breaking up because of family reasons in the end (breaking up because of family is too painful for Pengpeng to face directly), it is better to go through \”composition\”, \”quarrel\”, \”Finding trouble\” to end the relationship \”naturally\”. Let the relationship end because \”the two of them are not suitable\” rather than because \”their family is poor\” or \”they are not good enough for each other\”. Because \”the two of them are not suitable\” is much easier to accept than \”one\’s family is poor\” or \”one is not good enough for the other person\”. Moreover, instead of waiting for the other party to end it, it is better to end it yourself, which is easier for Pengpeng to accept. The reason sounds simple, but Pengpeng spent nearly a year exploring this reason. Why are childhood experiences so important in shaping us? Childhood is a general term, which actually includes the period from birth to our elementary school. This period of time includes the most important time period for the formation of our subconscious mind (1-3 years old). One of the many goals of psychological counseling is to make the subconscious mind conscious. Very few people will have an \”epiphany\” at the beginning of consultation, and many people will have to go through several months or even a year or two (possibly longer) to achieve this goal. Why does it take so long? Because we have a very strong defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are formed for self-protection.It was formed to protect you during a specific period of time, and it has truly performed its duty to protect you. However, after this period of time has passed, when you no longer need such defense and protection, the defense mechanism is still faithfully performing its duties tirelessly. At this time, the defense mechanism may become the reason that hinders you from understanding yourself and developing yourself. Sometimes, because the truth is too \”painful\”, we will choose to bypass the truth and activate our defense mechanism. Childhood experiences are internalized into your subconscious mind, affecting your thought patterns and behavior patterns. If you don\’t have enough awareness and motivation to change, it will always play a decisive role in a place that you can\’t see or touch. When we are children, we know why we are who we are today, constantly aware of ourselves, accompanying ourselves, and loving ourselves to gain the truth of growth. When we are parents, we should care more about our children because of our own growth. Because, you already know that a child\’s childhood experience plays a decisive role in his life, regardless of whether he is rich or not. When we are parents, please create a loving childhood for our children. This will be an inexhaustible wealth for his life.