Children are not afraid of introversion, but they are afraid of developing an \”avoidant\” personality

When many parents introduce their children to us, they can\’t help but say that their children are introverted and talk less. Although this is not a shortcoming, it seems to be a problem for the parents. Moreover, the more parents encourage their children to be cheerful, the more their children shrink back. , rarely play with other children. In fact, regarding children\’s personalities, whether they are introverts or extroverts, they have their own advantages. As long as it does not affect normal life, we can allow children to develop according to their own preferences. However, introverted children tend to develop an avoidant personality as they grow up, which is detrimental to their growth. Because he is not good at many things, he avoids them little by little and retreats to an environment that makes him comfortable. In this case, the child\’s comfortable space will become smaller and smaller and more closed. In the future, children will also choose to avoid difficulties in study and work, making it difficult to make progress and grow. What to do if your child is introverted PDF download [HD scan version 34.6M] Q: What is avoidant personality? A: Avoidant personality is a type of personality characterized by comprehensive social inhibition, a sense of inadequacy, and extreme sensitivity to negative evaluations. Patients begin to show characteristics such as shyness, loneliness, fear of meeting strangers, and fear of unfamiliar environments in early childhood or childhood. There will be a process from introversion to avoidant personality. If you find that your child has such signs of change, parents should pay more attention to: 1. Evaluation of introversion If introversion is an innate personality attribute, then Some children develop into relatively healthy introverts the day after tomorrow. Although they do not take the initiative to talk to others, they can be very comfortable when others talk to them. Some introverted children become more and more introverted. This is mainly the child\’s evaluation of introversion. If the child feels inferior because of this, it will aggravate the child\’s introversion and avoidance tendencies. Inferiority mentality is caused by children\’s low evaluation of themselves. Children always feel that they are not doing well enough and that they are not good enough, so they will want to reduce their sense of existence and fall into a habitual avoidance state. 2. Introverted children who are not good at handling things are not very good at getting along with others, activating the atmosphere, showing themselves, etc. Children will definitely encounter these issues as they grow up. If the child adopts the method of escaping when dealing with these things that he is not good at, and as the child fails more and more, he becomes more and more resistant to these things, then an avoidant personality will be formed. When children have too many imaginary fears about things they are not good at, they will become more hesitant. For example, when children are playing in a community or kindergarten, several children are chasing each other, sharing toys, and squatting together to discuss games. The atmosphere is very good. Your child is also about the same age as those children, and there is clearly desire in his eyes. , but they dare not step forward to join. Even if their mother or teacher keeps encouraging them, the child refuses to go. 3. Over-reliance on familiar people. In addition, parents also play a key role in guiding their children. Children are naturally wary of strange environments and strange people, so they will rely heavily on familiar people around them, hoping to hide behind them and hope that they can help them deal with the situation at hand. But blindly satisfying the child\’s immediate dependence will easilyIt is easy for your children to become more dependent on you. Have you ever seen children like this at a party? Faced with many people they don’t know, some children are relatively quiet throughout the whole process, relying on their mothers all the time, calling their mothers to join them no matter what they do, and even asking for something they want to eat. Help with clamping. If a mother blindly protects her child, she is actually creating a cocoon for her child that can make him feel safe. The thicker the cocoon, the more difficult it will be for the child to break out of it. So why do children easily fall into avoidant personality? This has something to do with the \”safe space\” in the child\’s mind. Some children have a small safe space and think that they are safest only in their own room, where they can do whatever they want; some children think that home is a safe space, so they can do whatever they want at home. Such children are prone to the old saying \” \”He is a bully at home, but a coward outside\”; some children can regard environments that they go to many times as safe spaces, such as schools and good friends\’ homes; other children think that everywhere is safe, and they are safe in any space. You can move freely without feeling restrained… When several children come together to be guests in a strange environment, we will observe that different children will behave differently, some are more restrained, and some are more free. , some will always hide next to their mother. This difference reflects the difference in the size of the inner safe space of different children. The larger the safe space, the less likely children are to be afraid of things, and the fewer instances of avoidance tendencies, which means children will be bolder. In this sense, naughty children can \”make do with everything\” in various environments, also because they are more \”courageous\” and have a wider safe space in their hearts, and strangers will not make them feel scared. So how can parents help their children expand their safe space and correct their avoidance tendencies? 1. Give children a sufficient basic sense of security. When it comes to security, the critical period for children to establish a sense of security is between the ages of 0 and 3. Between the ages of 0 and 3, the more complete the mother’s presence is, the more affirmative the love for the child, the more confident the child will be, and the greater the sense of security. 2. Help children improve their self-confidence. Low self-evaluation is an important reason for children\’s lack of confidence and sense of security. When a child says I can\’t do it, I can\’t do it, or I can\’t do it, parents should give the child some encouragement, not just to encourage him that he can do it, but to encourage him to have the courage to do it. There are many competitions held for children in European and American countries. Parents will attach great importance to it and dress up to attend. These challenges themselves are not difficult. When a child completes a sentence performance on the stage, the parents in the audience will applaud. This kind of encouragement This is the motivation for children to continue taking challenges. And if the child doesn\’t behave well, the family will give him a hug and tell him that you did it, which is great. 3. Don’t force your children too much. If a child starts to avoid it, parents should not be anxious and don’t scold the child. This will only make the child blame himself more and make those challenges more terrifying to the child. Try to let the child start with some acceptable challenges, let him find that it is not as difficult as he imagined, and slowly build up courage, so that he can truly help the child find confidence. For example, accompany your child to explore the world, talk to strange friends, and stand behind your child to provide him with strength., reducing the difficulty of the challenge. 4. Let children find something they are good at. Children can find a sense of security in what they are good at. Participating in a party among children, a little transparent person who doesn\’t know how to talk to others, and a talented child who can play the violin very well will have different psychological effects on the child. When he is good at something, he will attract many people who are interested in him and admire him. This will allow the child to smoothly integrate into the group and gain the respect of others. In many hero-themed movies, the protagonist may originally be an inconspicuous child, introverted, and weak, but he also has the desire to become a brave person. Helping children overcome their avoidance mentality, find their own superpowers, and let their brave heart that is not afraid of difficulties shine again is a cool thing that parents can do. A complete set of MP4 eloquence training and communication skills courses affecting 100,000 teenagers