The best education for children is for parents to know how to keep each other safe

I took my daughter to a toy store a few days ago and unexpectedly saw this scene. A young mother held several Ultraman toys in her hand and scolded her husband in front of her son: \”I spend all day buying these useless things for my son. There are a lot of them at home and I have no place to spend the money.\” No?\” In the large crowd, passers-by looked sideways. I saw my mother\’s face full of anger, and my father\’s body hunched over, expressionless. Although I don’t know what happened to this young couple and how much mistake my father made, my mother’s merciless scolding made me see the sadness in many families nowadays. In the eyes of children, everything about the way parents get along should not be like this. Maybe his parents think it\’s okay to attack and accuse each other in front of him, but in fact, the harm caused by this behavior is subtly affecting his life. Three points of trouble, nine points of damage \”Parenting Wars\” also has a pair of such parents. What is the best education for children? A famous educator reveals the secret for you PDF. The mother has a bad temper and has high demands on her son. She can\’t help but raise her voice when she sees that her son is not doing well in piano practice. As long as the mother is a little harsh, the father will always stand up immediately and speak out to save his son, while \”criticizing\” the mother: \”Children are not forced to do this.\” Unexpectedly, the father spoke uprightly, which aroused great dissatisfaction from the mother. . In order to prevent her father from interfering in her education, her mother even stared at him and said, \”Can you stop talking?\” This happens more than once. The son found an excuse to sneak out of the room to relax. The father thought it was okay and even looked at his mobile phone with him, talking and laughing. Soon after hearing the news, the mother came over and forced her son to stand. The reason was that her son had lied to her, and she was furious. Faced with the father\’s eagerness to protect his son, the mother simply changed the direction of the attack and shouted to the father: \”I am educating the child now, okay?\” The implication is, \”Dad, shut up and don\’t interfere with my discipline of my son. You Wherever it is cool, go and enjoy the coolness.\” In fact, what these parents did was ostensibly for their son. One hopes that his son can maintain a high degree of self-discipline and not fall behind in his studies, while the other does not want his son to work so hard and take a break when he can. But they attack each other and accuse each other of \”insufficient\” education, which deeply hurts the children\’s fragile hearts. In a \”disharmonious\” family atmosphere, children feel panic, fear and separation. It was obvious that his parents were trying to undermine each other, and he was the starting point. In the end, he was the one who suffered ten thousand injuries. Han Feizi said: If there are two nobles in a family, their work will be in vain; if the husband and wife are in power, the children will not be able to follow their lead. If you always feel that you are doing the right thing, you will slander your partner in front of your children and unceremoniously tear them down. This is laying a hidden mine for the family that can explode at any time, and it is a huge hidden danger to the growth of children. Parents’ attitude towards their significant other determines their children’s future life direction. A netizen on Weibo once asked: Many years after graduation, I would rather choose a job far away from home. I don’t want to go home to face my parents during the holidays. Am I being unfilial? From his sharing, I discovered that he also has a pair of parents who like to undermine each other and speak ill of each other. When he was a child, whenever his father took him out to play and came home late, his mother would definitely scold him.Dad, I\’m angry that my father is playing tricks on him. He would even complain that his father made less money and was unable to find a good job like his neighbors that could support the whole family. Although his father often swallows his anger and gives in in front of his mother, in private, his father will keep reminding him: \”Don\’t listen to your mother. You haven\’t read any books and you are giving orders all day long like a commander-in-chief. I have a bad temper.\” Don\’t argue with her, don\’t let her know if you have anything to do, just tell dad.\” For a while, he really couldn\’t stand his mother\’s behavior, and tried to unite with his father and stand on the opposite side of his mother. But when he became more sensible, he felt that his father was as unreliable as his mother said, and he couldn\’t even solve a small problem. Who should you trust? Who should I choose? This \”choose one\” problem became a problem for him as he grew up. I really want to respect my parents and understand their situation, but when I think of their negative comments about each other, I unconsciously raise a question mark in my heart, and it becomes difficult to trust either party. So much so that after leaving home and entering the workplace, he always had doubts about his colleagues and friends, unsure whether they were sincere to him and unable to fully open himself up to get along with others. It is said that the attitude of parents towards their significant other hides the future direction of their children\’s life. Disrespect from either party to the other half will inevitably destroy the parent\’s prestige in the children\’s hearts. When a child loses respect and admiration for his parents, his sense of identification with intimate relationships and rules will disappear little by little, completely. The key to providing security for your partner lies in these three things. When it comes to the ideal family structure model, German psychologist Hellinger said: \”The husband and wife stand closely side by side, and the children stand in the front and middle position of the parents. Only in this way can the formation of an ideal family structure be achieved.\” A stable isosceles triangle relationship.\” This means that putting the other half as important as oneself, respecting them and loving them is an important source of security for children. If you want to maintain your partner\’s sense of authority and protect him or her, the key lies in these three things: 1. Don\’t belittle your partner in front of your children. Many times, parents like to expose their partner\’s shortcomings in front of their children, or forcefully pull them away. The children take sides just because they want to have one more chance to attack the other party and let them see how miserable the other party is. But doing so will undoubtedly force children to become victims of family wars, which is not worth the gain. Adult matters should always be solved in an adult way. On the road to educating children to grow up, the other half is the only comrade and traveler. Save some face for your significant other, and even if you don’t agree, please talk about it behind closed doors. Be more respectful and decent in your language. Even if you seem to \”lose\”, the children will win in the end. 2. Don’t blame the problem on your partner. Every parent is called upon to do something in a critical situation. It is the first time they receive the stick of “education”. Everyone has their imperfections and imperfections. No matter what happens, as long as the bottom line is not touched, parents should work together as husband and wife to find ways to solve the problem together. When a child has difficulty in learning, everyone should sit down and calm down and see what they can do to help the child; when the family\’s economy is in crisis, it is even more important for everyone to work together as a rope and work hard to get through it. Blindly throwing the pot away and blaming the problem on your partner will not only fail to solve the problem, but will alsoPuts a lot of pressure on children. Therefore, knowing how to put yourself in the other person\’s shoes, and facing the various challenges encountered in running a family together is the way for high-quality parents to do things. 3. Say more words of affirmation and praise for your partner. Ms. Jiang Peirong, the former chief interviewer of China at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States, shared in \”Pei Rong\’s Mother\’s Scripture\”: Since she learned to appreciate her husband and express her affirmation and recognition of her husband, not only the marriage Full of passion and a new look, even the children learn to respect their husbands more and more and regard their father as a \”hero\”. In her opinion, even if some \”sweet words\” sound disgusting, she is too embarrassed to say them. But if you know how to express love and are willing to say words of praise to your significant other, your children will gradually get used to it, and one day, they will treat their significant other in this way. Relax your mind and take the initiative to discover each other\’s strengths. When sweet lubricants are injected into the relationship between husband and wife, it will benefit the entire family. As the saying goes, what is the relationship between parents and what is the fate of children? The best education for children is for parents to keep each other in check. Only when the father loves the child\’s mother well, and the mother appreciates and respects the child\’s father, and does not cause trouble or blame each other, will the child feel the warmth and love in the intimate relationship. Every parent should use their own good behavior toward their partner to work together to set a benchmark for their children\’s growth. Children who grow up in love will one day receive special love from the world.