When the mother knelt down to tie her son\’s shoelaces in the mall, she saw a shocking scene

Many parents are troubled: Why do my children become more and more alienated from me as they grow up? Do children in this era only need mobile phones and tablets and no need to communicate? Faced with two generations that seem to have a generation gap, and watching their children who are constantly turning the multimedia devices in their hands with relish, parents fall into deep ambivalence. They deliberately try all kinds of channels but cannot open up a bridge of spiritual communication with their children. This feeling is indeed very painful! Don\’t worry, let\’s listen to an interesting story first. Our magazine colleague Ali is the editor of a children\’s psychological story weekly. Her son is 3 and a half years old this year and is regarded as the \”best mother-child partner\” because she can become friends with such a young daughter and the relationship is handled very harmoniously. The parents around me were very envious and often asked her for advice, but she told me a secret. Every time she took her children shopping and visited the children\’s playground, the usually lively and active son became very timid as if he had changed. He hid behind his mother. Behind him, he was crying and wanted to leave immediately. Ali felt very surprised. After repeated trials, it still remained the same. When she asked her son the reason, tears suddenly flowed down her little cheeks, and she couldn\’t explain the reason at all. Ali was very confused. Finally, an accidental episode solved the mystery. At the end of last year, Ali once again took her son to a crowded shopping mall to buy new year goods. The mall was crowded, pushing and pushing her son to loosen his shoelaces. He was about to squat down to help his son tie his shoelaces, when she accidentally raised her eyes. Looking around, she was attracted by the scene in front of her. She is very sensitive as she is engaged in child psychology research: What a terrible scene at this time. I squatted down at about the same height as the child, and what I saw was a pair of big swinging hands. And there are legs that can’t be seen. Some people walk too hastily, and the heavy objects they carry in their hands often flutter in front of your eyes because of the excessive swing of their arms. From time to time, they will hit me and my children’s cheeks. Bump and bump. As she spoke, Ali\’s face looked particularly anxious. Obviously, such a complicated picture is the reason why the child is unwilling to come to the mall. How can the child\’s young mind digest the scenes in front of him that are too late to react and overwhelmed? What a nightmare! Ali secretly vowed never to take her child to such a place again, and decisively picked up her son, preparing to leave quickly. At this time, there was an interesting scene: her son was at the same height as an adult, and he was so happy that he told her excitedly Mom, it turns out there are so many interesting toys in the mall! Ali suddenly realized that she learned a truth from her son. In order to eliminate doubts and contradictions, she must think about problems from the same perspective or even the same height as her son. Yes, parents are often self-righteous and use a condescending attitude to communicate with their children. They think that they have countless experiences and can guide their children. In fact, it is just the opposite. If we want to be friends with our children and build trust, we often need to be at the same height and use their children to guide them. Only by seeing a different world from a different perspective can we truly empathize and enter the child\’s heart. I met a tour guide who was a veteran when I was traveling. Every time we chatted around the fire, my baby daughter always talked about it and praised him. They were so close and talked about everything. The father-daughter version of best friends, yesI was particularly curious about this, so I specially invited the father and daughter to my home during my free time. During the chat, I learned that the girl is a very sunny, positive and well-behaved child with a sense of humor. In addition, she has been rated as one of the top ten young pioneers for two consecutive years and is an excellent student. She said that she and her father are very close and feel that they have been together since childhood. When she grew up, there was never a generation gap between her and her father. The secret was that they would spend an hour every day chatting with each other, and over time it had become a necessary part of their daily lives! I was particularly envious of how such a relationship was established, so I humbly asked this old soldier for advice. It turns out that this father suffered a lot before he retired from the army. He knew that happiness is hard-won. He gained a sense of responsibility and in exchange for a happy family, he had his own baby daughter. Unexpectedly, his daughter was born with underlying diseases and has always been very weak. , he loves his daughter deeply and knows that this disease cannot be eradicated. He is not sad and despairing, but relies on his rational and calm fatherly love to understand that such children need more care and spiritual communication and have no sense of security. So he looked at everything from his daughter\’s perspective, saw the world from her daughter\’s perspective, and spent an hour every day to deeply understand his daughter\’s psychological activities. In this way, his daughter is now 14 years old, and the father and daughter have constant spiritual communication. After 10 years of perseverance, this pair of father and daughter seemed to be born as partners. It was humility, patience, standing on the same level, and building trust. This hour showed an amazing role in growth. Open the window of your soul, and as long as you squat down and make friends with your children on an equal footing, the generation gap will be filled as the communication deepens.