Don’t think that becoming a parent will give you a gold medal for making mistakes!

That night, a netizen left a message in the background, saying that my words gave him comfort and allowed him to hear the most beautiful blessings when he looked back on earth. I was shocked when I saw such a message. Behind those words as cold as water, there must be a desperate little man. I responded quickly and asked him to add me for a private chat on WeChat. So soon he added my private message and told me about a period of his confused life. He has always been a filial and obedient child in the eyes of his parents. His whole life before the age of thirty was at the mercy of his parents. When he was in high school, he wanted to go to the same school as his classmates. His parents said that for his own good, he must go to a key high school. He wanted to Not wanting to disappoint his parents, his studies were disordered and his hair turned gray instantly; he went to college and applied for a major. He especially liked being a reporter and could come and go freely. However, his father was very forceful and did not ask for his opinion. He still thought \”for He applied for medical school without authorization for the reason that he was good. He was very resistant. He was afraid of anything with blood. He begged his father to let him choose for once. He even knelt at his father\’s feet and begged. His mother asked him: Are you my son? If it’s my son, he can’t be so cowardly! His father looked at him in astonishment and said to him: The wings are stiff and they are no longer obedient. At the same time, he began to use bitter tricks to teach him the history of his revolutionary family. His father almost ended their conversation with the prescribed sentence \”Can your own father harm you?\” He described to me that the five years he spent in medical school were like living through the years. He was afraid of dissection, and it was as painful as going to the execution ground every time. He didn\’t tell his father any of this. Thanks to his girlfriend\’s companionship during the past five years, he finally made it to graduation. This was the first time in his life that he made the decision. He didn\’t tell his parents that he went to his girlfriend\’s hometown to find a job. His girlfriend was a dedicated farmer. When his father heard the result, his lungs exploded. He used all his relatives to almost rob him away from his girlfriend. What made him most desperate was that his mother actually ridiculed and humiliated his girlfriend who came to see him in public. He argued with his mother, but was beaten severely by his father. His relatives scolded him: all knowledge was learned in the dog\’s belly, and even his parents did not understand that there was something wrong with the moral character of a filial person. . . . . . . I felt angry just listening to it. I don’t know since when, in our education system, once a couple becomes parents, their children are his private products. From the perspective that everything is for your own good, and from the perspective that your life is given by me, parents I got the error-free gold medal. In fact, for an unreasonable and arbitrary person, those personality defects will not be instantly erased just because he becomes a parent, but will be passed on to his children without any change. It is not up to us to choose and decide what kind of parents we meet, but being able to distinguish between right and wrong and knowing how to distinguish is the ability that children should have. Some parents not only have flaws in their personality, but also in their character. As an independent child, we have the obligation to correct ourselves. Parents are not gods, but the people who give us life. So I told him, there is no need for you to despair because of this. What a wonderful thing it is to live. You must not only live your own life, but also correct your parents’ mistakes and wake them up from chaos.Everyone has an independent life. I respect you because you gave me life. I know how to be grateful. I refuse because my life is my own. When dealing with parents, especially unreasonable parents, a battle of wits is a strategy. Then, I told him, if you can survive the New Year, what does that mean? He sent me a smiley face, which was the end of our conversation that day. This morning, at around 5 o\’clock, he sent me a smiling face and a message saying, thank you for my words, and he has already embarked on a journey to his girlfriend\’s hometown. I didn\’t ask him in detail how he solved the problem with his parents. That smiling face was enough to prove that he had won. Many times, we always live within the framework of the moral norms of our predecessors. The phrase \”parents have no fault\” has buried many souls yearning for independence. In fact, there is no one who eats grains without getting sick, and no one who is born as a mortal is without fault. No one is perfect and no one is barefoot. The same goes for parents. Although it is instinct and great love for parents to love their children, everyone has different personalities, realms of love, and ways of love. Even great love has flaws, there is a sunny side and there is definitely a dark side. If you understand, don\’t be blind and superstitious about authority. Distinguishing right from wrong is a mature life choice. When the talented Zhang Ailing talked about her parents, she always avoided her father\’s lust and his mother\’s selfishness; Lu Xun mentioned his father\’s peasant cunning many times in his memoirs. Even those talented people and beauties are not 100% perfect. They also have flaws and flaws of one kind or another. Xu Zhimo’s passion, Lu Xiaoman’s sentimentality, Zhang Ailing’s selfishness, and Hu Lancheng’s playfulness are all listed here. It can circle the earth three times. These are the weaknesses and weaknesses of human nature. The independence we advocate is not only financial independence, but also independent thinking and identification, which is the direction of excellence. A distant relative of mine was very fond of cleanliness. After her son got married, he first lived with her. He disliked her daughter-in-law\’s uncleanness and couldn\’t stand her work and rest schedule. She blew in front of her son every day until her son and his wife divorced. Later, they got married, and within three years, they were in trouble again, reaching the point of divorce. That day, her son came to me in great distress and told me, I asserted, if you don\’t move out, your marriage won\’t last. Not all parents are right! Your own head is on your own head, and you can’t even be your own wife’s wife, so why are you looking for that wife? A word to wake up the dreamer. Stupid parents generally like to stretch out their hands and hold their hearts tightly. Doting is another kind of selfishness. In a previous article, I wrote about an elder brother whom I respect. At first, he had been working hard at a food stall to manage his bleak life. It was his mentally retarded son who woke him up. He was already living in such a miserable state, why did he have to Are you nostalgic for living a miserable life in a city? From then on, if they liked the grasslands, they would work part-time as herdsmen herding sheep. If they liked the south, they would sell aquatic products to fishermen. Their income was still not much, but their mood was twice as bright. Not only did he change his life, he also learned the joy of letting go and giving. His favorite saying is: when the wall is broken down, it becomes a bridge! Here, I would like to express my gratitude to those parents who seem to care for their children, but actuallyParents of over-involved children say it\’s wise to learn from the big brother and exit gracefully. Birds all know that when their feathers are plump, they are expelled from the nest, and when the camels grow up, they are expelled from the territory. Why do parents who love their children so much have to repeat your miserable life under your eyes? Parenting is sometimes a skill and a profession. The by-products of any couple\’s sexual intercourse are not at your disposal. In fact, they are hurting each other. Instinctive possession is a disaster. I know, writing such an article on Mother\’s Day is totally asking for scolding. In fact, I feel sorry for those of us who use brute force to be parents. Learning to withdraw gracefully is to give space for love. After all, parents are just a pair of figures drifting away. Accompanying them is our full destiny. . No one\’s life can be copied and tested. Withdrawal is something parents must go through. For parents, companionship is a journey, and letting go is the most affectionate fate. All separation is for reunion after a long separation, isn\’t all care for the purpose of conveying the power of love? Parents are not born competent, they also need to be educated with a broad mind and wisdom. If you are wrong, you are wrong. Put down your airs and admit your mistakes. There is no shame! A life full of chaos and chaos is a complete failure! When everything settles and everything returns to love, you will understand that letting go is actually a beautiful harvest. People who don\’t know how to let go always hold the things they cherish in their hands. In fact, a lot of love is like quicksand, the tighter it becomes, the faster it flows. As the old saying goes, brothers fight against each other, and relatives stay close to each other from afar. The love between parents and children also needs room to turn around and breathe, so that love can stretch and become abundant. Only parents who know how to let go can let their children fly. They use warmth, tenderness and generosity to create a watchful home. That is the warmest place for all wanderers. Text｜Lama Ge