I never imagined that picking up children early and late would have such a big impact on their personality.

At the beginning of next month, children born from September 1, 2012 to August 31, 2013 will officially enter the kindergarten. Many friends in the background are asking whether it is better to pick up the children from school early or late. Based on student Zhe’s experience in the comfort class for more than four months, I would like to share with you my pick-up and drop-off experience. When is the best time to send your child to a relaxation class? Classmate Zhe is an energetic and super active child, and he is a little whirlwind when he goes out. I was worried that he would not have a strong sense of rules when he went to kindergarten, so I first enrolled him in an English class. One was to sharpen his ears, and the other was to improve his cooperation with teachers and children. The English class is taught entirely in English, twice a week, one and a half hours each time, with 1 foreign teacher, 1 bishop, 2 teaching assistants, and 10 children, all aged two or three years old. Parents can accompany the children in the first few classes, and children can attend classes independently starting from the eighth class at the latest. I have carefully observed that even children who seem outgoing and independent will cry when they leave their parents for the first time. The stubborn classmate Zhe cried for more than 20 minutes the first time, and the assistant teacher held him and coaxed him to no avail. I relented and went into the classroom to coax him for a few minutes, but when I came out again, he was crying even harder – I knew that shouting hoarsely worked and the child would use it frequently, so I didn\’t go into the classroom again. After that, he would still cry every time he had an independent class, but the time was shorter each time. After the fourth independent class, he could already play happily with the teacher. In the process of separation anxiety, it is not so much a test of the children as it is a test of the parents – it is extremely important to let the children stop thinking about being accompanied by others, and at the same time ensure that they can see their family members as soon as they leave the classroom door. In mid-March, I was not at home full-time yet, and the company of my grandparents could no longer satisfy my classmate Zhe’s thirst for knowledge. For example, he often speaks some English words, but the old man cannot communicate with him; for example, the old man cannot respond to his children\’s songs. At this time, you can consider letting them go to a relaxation class to get along with teachers and friends. On the first day of entering the kindergarten, classmate Zhe didn’t cry because it was novel and he had a lot of fun. But starting from the next day, I cried loudly every time I sent him to the classroom, crying and shouting: \”Mom won\’t leave, mom will stay with me…\” I made a lot of preparations in advance: I took him to the early childhood education center to swim a few days in advance. , contact the main class teacher in advance and play with the children in advance, but separation anxiety still exists. Although I insisted on not looking back when he cried, on the second and third days after entering the kindergarten, I applied for independent work and \”accompanyed him\” outside the classroom. When he comes out to do recess exercises, he will look around for his mother. One time he broke away from the teacher\’s arms and rushed to the door of the early childhood education center while crying. He also vaguely said that he was going home to find his mother. I couldn\’t hold it back and shed tears myself. But I know that if I show up at this time, it will only make his separation anxiety worse and last longer. So I have only one word for everyone who is crying when they first enter kindergarten: endure. At the same time, they will stand at the door of the classroom and wait as soon as school is over to ensure that they can see their mother\’s smiling face after school. When the babies are sure that \”Mom can\’t be seen temporarily, not forever,\” a new sense of security will be established. . Compared with picking up children early and picking them up late, who picks them up is more important. From crying as soon as they enter the classroom to having fun with the children, classmate Zhe has been going through this for about a month, and now he asks every day when he opens his eyes: \”Mom, is today the weekend? Let\’s go to kindergarten!\” Hearing the little guy ask this question with a slight milky voice, he was inexplicable. move. The only thing I felt sorry for him was that he couldn\’t pick him up and drop him off in person every day. I resigned in May because I had to read and study every morning and write official notifications in the afternoon. I could only send my children to school in the morning and bother the elderly to pick them up at night. When the grandparents pick up the children, they arrive at the school half an hour before the kindergarten officially ends. When the children have dinner at 4:30, they stand at the door of the classroom waiting. Regarding whether it is better to pick up children early or late, foreign scholars have conducted research: The children who are picked up first in a class usually have higher self-confidence than other children, but the children who are always picked up first are usually more confident. Vanity is strong; and those children who are picked up last, especially those who are often picked up last, are usually more introverted and even have low self-esteem. So don’t always be the first to pick up your child, and don’t always let your child be the last to leave the classroom. Although I always tell my grandparents not to pick up my children so early every time, they still arrive at the earliest every day and wait at the door of the classroom with three or four other parents. My situation of sending my children to school and my grandparents picking them up from school lasted until early July. One day I was chatting with a friend (her daughter and classmate Zhe are in the same class) and found that she was familiar with every child in the class and was familiar with most of the children\’s parents, so she had a comprehensive understanding of their children\’s campus living environment. The next day, because I had finalized the draft in advance, I went directly to pick up the child. When I arrived, classmate Zhe was pulling a small train to wash his hands. When he saw me, his eyes lit up, he pointed at me loudly and said to the teacher: \”Teacher, teacher, look, my mother came to pick me up today!\” As he spoke, he jumped and walked. Being so happy can be described as ecstatic. On the way back, he put his arms around my neck and said, \”Mom, will you come and pick me up from now on?\” I felt a little sad when I heard what my child said – the time for writing manuscripts can be adjusted, the time for studying can be adjusted, and the time for picking up can be adjusted. The children are out of school, missing one day and one day less. Since then, I have continued to pick up and drop off my children every day. Slowly, I learned who his good friends were, what his classes were like during the day, and how long he took naps every day… Most old people would not know these details in detail. In their hearts, the child was not injured. It’s okay as long as you’re not wronged. Then one day, I was playing with my children in the classroom. My friend had to work overtime that day and asked me to tell her that her daughter’s father would pick her up today. When I explained why my mother couldn\’t come, the little girl who was just three years old said angrily: \”You don\’t have to tell me this, I know it all!\” It was obvious that she was very concerned about her mother not coming to pick her up. Any child would mind, right? It is a ritual for my mother to pick her up in person, and it is also an ironclad proof that I am very important to my parents. I explained the situation to my friend, and she decided to pick up the child first and then work overtime after the child fell asleep. As a result, bad things turned into good things. My friends and husband came to pick up my daughter. The little girl was very happy. She held her father in one hand and her mother in the other. She proudly said to classmate Zhe: \”My parents are here.\” Zhe TongXue said to me: \”Will dad come to pick me up tomorrow?\” I said: \”Okay, mom and dad will discuss it and promise to pick you up one day a week, okay?\” If you accidentally pick up the child too late, mom and dad will Be sure to apologize to the child and explain the reason, so that the child understands that he did not ignore it on purpose. After school, mom and dad come to pick her up together, which not only provides companionship and love, but also a sense of security. The love of grandparents cannot completely replace the love of parents, so when a child enters kindergarten, no matter how busy you are at work, as a parent, you should try to pick up the child as many times as possible. Otherwise, when children see other children being picked up by their parents, while they are always being picked up by the elderly, they will feel that they are not valued by their parents, and may even feel abandoned. The resulting loss and sadness will affect the child\’s life. . What happens after picking up the children is also very important. When picking up classmates, I found that when old people pick up their children, they often bring various snacks, and some even bring drinks. The reason why they do this is: the child has been in the kindergarten all day long and cannot eat well or sleep well, and the family does not provide him with supplements? It\’s true that you love your children, but snacks and drinks have a great negative impact on children\’s living habits: children know that there will be snacks to eat soon, and they can cope with dinner; children know that there will be sweet water to drink after school, and they start to refuse plain water when they wake up from a nap… This is also the case with classmate Zhe. The first few days after I picked him up from school, he always asked: \”Mom, did you bring me sweet water? Why didn\’t grandpa give me sweet water but you didn\’t give it to me?\” So, pick him up. When you are a child, be careful not to let your child eat too many unhealthy snacks and drinks out of compensatory psychology. On the way home, parents should take the initiative to communicate with their children: Did you have fun today? Did you eat something delicious? Have you made any new friends? What kind of games has the teacher played with you? If necessary, you can ask the teacher for a curriculum. If the kindergarten handicraft classes or games can be played at home, they can be kept as parent-child projects. If there is a foreign teacher class, parents can also learn the songs or words taught by the foreign teacher themselves, creating opportunities at home anytime and anywhere to sharpen their children\’s ears. Parents are the child\’s home. We don\’t need to be overly nervous when the child enters kindergarten, but there are some precautions that must be known in advance, which will be helpful to the child\’s adaptability and mental development.