When parents have conflicts, do you know how pitiful the children are…

Educational psychology experts remind us: In families with children, husband and wife must not quarrel in front of the children! Otherwise, the most seriously injured person is actually the child! In life, when a couple has differences or even conflicts due to education issues or parents\’ incompatibility, how many of them can still remember that their children are watching? They only focus on attacking the opponent like a barrage of fire, going crazy to scare the opponent, and want to use all means, just to get a slight advantage. As everyone knows, you are having conflicts with ferocious faces. At this moment, you are destroying the child\’s young mind and making him suffer in complicated emotions. I am miserable – I grew up in the middle of conflicts between my parents, and I have psychological trauma that is difficult to repair. Many years ago, I was a little girl of only five or six years old. My father took my mother and me to visit Shanghai. I can’t even mention how happy I was on the way there! When in Shanghai, you always have to go to the Bund to enjoy the beautiful scenery. Our family of three naturally came to the foot of the Oriental Pearl Tower. At that time, I saw a middle-aged man holding several small models in his hand. He was specifically looking at the crowd of children, and he was shouting exaggeratedly: \”Come, come, take a look, buy one.\” ! The Oriental Pearl Tower is sold cheaply, only 8 yuan each!\” Seeing that I was attracted, the middle-aged man shook the model in his hand even more exaggeratedly. I pestered my mother and insisted on buying one, but my mother smiled and said: \”Okay, let\’s go buy it! Walk slowly, be careful of falling…\” Before my mother could finish her words, my father loudly reprimanded: \”Buy whatever you want, look. It\’s of inferior quality, and you\’re asking for 8 yuan! Don\’t buy it! You keep buying and buying all day long. It\’s a waste of money! It\’s easy for me to make money to support my family!\” \”Isn\’t it just to buy a small toy? Do you deserve to be so cruel?\” My mother felt very aggrieved after being told by her father. She didn\’t care about the crowd. Her nose became sore and she started crying, and the more she cried, the sadder she became. \”Look at how cowardly you are, you are crying! You are so embarrassed all over Shanghai!\” I carefully pulled the corner of my mother\’s clothes and asked anxiously: \”Mom, what\’s wrong with you? Is dad bullying you again? ?\” Mother nodded vigorously. I let go of my mother\’s clothes and hit my father hard with my small fist, over and over again. My father was probably jealous when he saw that I was protecting my mother so blatantly. Without saying a word, he actually slapped me: \”You heartless person, I have come through thick and thin to make money and spend money for you. It\’s good for you, you started betraying me at a young age!\” I was petrified immediately and looked at my strange father with hatred… When I was in the fifth grade, my Chinese teacher assigned an essay question and asked us to recall it carefully and choose one. Write a composition about the most memorable thing, no less than 500 words. Is this still worth remembering? I suddenly remembered the Oriental Pearl incident. In my composition, I wrote this in emotional words: Every time I open the floodgates of memory, I will be deeply hurt by a small incident from many years ago… The trip to Shanghai, which was originally filled with joy, has become my The sad journey of this life. It was obvious that my parents had unconsciously regarded me as their emotional dumpster. In front of me, they vented their anger and anger willfullyDissatisfied, with no regard for the psychological shadow of my child. After so many years, I tried to forget that bad memory of the Bund. I swore that I would never look up to the heights of the Oriental Pearl Tower in my life. However, once some marks are imprinted, they can never be erased, such as: my father’s memory back then. Reckless impulse, murderous slap shape. I remember that after the essay was submitted to the Chinese teacher, she gave me a very high score and attached a comment: You used simple and unpretentious language to describe a real and touching thing, which shows your writing skills. great! Haha, so real and touching. . . How I hope that what I remember most is something full of warm feelings! Time flies, and parents have more and more conflicts: they argue when visiting relatives during holidays; they argue about who stays at the mahjong table longer; they argue about who contributes more to housework. ; My grades occasionally slip, and they want to quarrel… They are like two barrels of spontaneously igniting gunpowder, and conflicts are always on the verge of breaking out! However, fortunately, I have finally grown up. The year after the college entrance examination, I, who was born in the south, deliberately chose a university in the north. The year after college, I deliberately targeted a big city far away from home. When I do this, I am not trying to retaliate or punish them; I just want to find a relatively quiet atmosphere, learn some knowledge, and grow in skills. I thought distance would help me do this, but I was a bit naive. I studied hard for the postgraduate entrance examination, and my top three scores were fully funded by the public. I am very excited. Now I don’t have to cause trouble with my parents. In my spare time, I can teach foreigners to learn Chinese and earn some living expenses. Although the class location is a bit far away and it takes more than an hour to take the bus, I never felt it was hard. However, one time, as I was on the bus heading to class, my phone vibrated. When I saw it, it was my mother calling. I pressed the answer button and heard bursts of heart-rending crying! After my mother cried so much that she had no energy left, she finally spoke: \”Your dad, that bastard dad of yours called me a lunatic!… I\’m so worried about this family, and he\’s still so angry with me. I want to die.\” It’s gone!” I didn’t know what to say, or how to comfort this woman who was controlled by sadness. I was so panicked that my hands started to shake. At that moment, my tears could no longer be suppressed, and they flowed out in a \”swish\” manner. When my parents have conflicts, they will always push the waves violently towards me when the conflicts are at their most turbulent. Even though I am thousands of miles away, I can still smell the smell of war and the breath of despair. I was alone, found a remote corner, and walked around the world like a hedgehog, fully armed but with a fragile heart. I have always been surrounded by excellent suitors, and I have fallen in love several times, but each time they ended in failure. Growing up, I was exposed to the complexity and noise of my parents’ marriage far more than the sweet hugs and happy company. I\’m afraid that love will turn into marriage, I\’m afraid of falling into trivial squabbles, and I\’m afraid of falling into the hurt of fighting between you and me. I\’m afraid of becoming a self-pitying woman like my mother; I\’m afraid of meeting someone who is too caring like my father.Little man! Therefore, whenever I really encounter a beautiful fate and want to open my heart and love someone properly, I find that I lack some courage after all. To be precise, I have a kind of inferiority complex in my bones. I never dare to take the initiative to confess to the person I love, not because I am afraid of rejection, but because I am afraid that he will not love me as deeply as I do. In contrast, I would rather choose a man with a higher safety factor, choose a city to grow old in, and choose a person to grow old. People who have been around me praise me for being a sensible person when it comes to love and knowing what I want. Haha, they are all wrong, I just have low self-esteem. Family is a school and marriage is a practice. I prefer to be a smart and hard-working parent, to avoid the harm caused to children by conflicts between husband and wife, and to let children bathe in the warm sunshine and grow up with less resentment and more joy. Not wanting my daughter to make the same mistake again, my husband and I made a \”three-part agreement\”: 1. Never quarrel in front of the children, resolve marital conflicts privately and quickly; 2. Be positive angel parents, think from others\’ perspective, and communicate more in everything; 3. Respect each other, Strong in heart, proactive and harmonious in the family. If conflicts between husband and wife are unavoidable, please do not let them harm young children. After all, for children, some injuries, once caused, are likely to last a lifetime. Dear parents, please remember: parents should be a big tree for their children, holding up a clear sky without rain for their children!