If you say these two words less, your child will undergo miraculous changes

As a mother, she actually let her children play with knives. When she went to a friend\’s house to return books over the weekend, her 3-year-old son was standing by the sink, holding a fruit knife to see if the blade was sharp. I was a little surprised, but my friend motioned me to be quiet. But she was always nervous: would it cut her hand? What if she slipped and pricked her eye… It might hurt. Her son took the initiative to put the knife into the pool and said, \”Mom, I don\’t want to play anymore. It\’s really sharp.\” After a while, the child went to play puzzles with his grandma. I asked my friend in a low voice: \”How can I let him touch such a dangerous thing?\” My friend said: \”He was curious, so I let him feel it.\” In fact, , whether we go out together or the scene I saw at her house, my friend rarely says \”no\” or \”no\” to her son, but clearly points out what he should do next. For example, it is stipulated that children’s cartoons can only be watched for 15 minutes at a time. Three to five minutes in advance, your friend will remind you: \”Baby, it\’s almost the appointed time.\” When the appointed time comes, your friend will ask again: \”Should you turn off the TV yourself, or will your mother turn it off for you? It\’s time to go play next.\” There are building blocks.” Every time when we go out to eat, friends will tell their son: “Sit on the dining chair and eat your fill, and then dad or mom can take you to play on the big slide.” The child will also make a fuss to get down, and she Generally, children will not be ordered to sit down, but they will say softly: \”Mom, I know you want to come down and play for a while. Do you want to play for two minutes or three minutes?\” Because he is respected, her son will come down and walk around, and he will still sit down obediently. Eat at the dining chair. We also hate other people’s denial. My friend used to be the mother who put “no” and “don’t” on her lips. The child wants to play in the water. \”No!\” The child wants to eat ice cream. \”No!\” The child wants to jump up and down the stairs. \”No, I will fall and get hurt!\” As a result, the more she said no, the more the child had to do it. After he finished, he still looked at you with an expression that seemed to say: Let’s see what you can do? Later, she went to a parent class, and one of her homework assignments was as follows: First: find a day for her husband to deny most of his behaviors; second: have a conversation with her children and use the words \”no\”, \”don\’t\” and \”no\” \”Can\” be removed; her son was exactly two years old at that time, a rebellious stage; and it happened to coincide with Double 11, a month of super prodigality. When her husband cooperated with her to complete her homework, the situation was as follows: She fell in love with a scarf, and her husband said: \”Don\’t buy it, there are a few more!\” She fell in love with a pair of shoes, which was 50% off on Double 11, and her husband She said, \”Don\’t buy them. We have enough shoes.\” She suggested going to the movies, and her husband said, \”Just wait for the download. Why waste that money!\” She said to cook some pear water for her son, and her husband said, \”Don\’t It’s healthier to cook it, peel it and eat it directly.”… As soon as she suggested it, no matter how big or small, her husband objected. At first, she thought the homework was quite fun, but starting in the afternoon, she felt \”really annoyed\” when she heard her husband\’s denial! She began to reflect on whether she had said too many \”nos\”, \”don\’ts\” and \”can\’ts\” to her children. Like adults, children are also independent individuals. No matter whether their needs are reasonable or not, if they are always denied, they must have a strong sense of frustration in their hearts. They want to watch more TV, just like women are always short of clothes. Who doesn\’t want to haveWhat about more? That day, after watching the stipulated three episodes of the cartoon, my son said: \”Mom, let\’s watch one more episode.\” The friend did not go over and turn it off, nor did he refuse bluntly. She knelt down and said, \”Mom, I know you want to watch it. Let\’s discuss it. Can we watch another episode tonight? Now let\’s go ride a scooter for a while.\” After being respected, the child followed her mother even though she was reluctant. outdoor. Outside, I met a small toy seller. My son wanted a little man who could do somersaults. In the past, friends would definitely pick up their son and leave because they \”cannot tolerate his bad habits.\” But the way she handled it that time was to explain to her child first: \”We have no plans to buy anything this time, and mom didn\’t bring a wallet. You really like it. We can discuss it before we set off next time, and mom will definitely buy it for you.\” Although the child was still crying, his limbs were obviously softer after struggling. She said: \”When I say no to my children less and less, my children\’s cooperation becomes higher and higher.\” When we communicate with our children, we often like to use negative and negative language. What these words convey to children is: You are wrong, you are disobedient. This is a paternalistic order that uses adult authority. This method seems to have immediate results, but if used for a long time, the child will only remember \”what not to do\” and will have a strong sense of disapproval. But what should be done and how to do it correctly have not been learned; in serious cases, it will cause the child\’s rebellious psychology. When you point east and he turns west, it will be too late. Telling children what they should do is far more important than telling them what they cannot do. During the parent class, the lecturer also had a similar interaction with us. She said, \”Don\’t raise your right hand.\” My reaction was: Should I raise my left hand? Should the right hand be placed in front of the body or to the side? In other words, when I receive a reverse instruction, I am confused as to what to do next. As an adult, I react like this, but what about babies whose brains have not yet fully developed? When they are restricted from playing with knives, holding brooms, playing with water, watching TV, and jumping on the bed… will they be more confused and uncertain about what they should do? Now, when I get along with my classmate Zhe, if I encounter something I don’t want him to do, I will clearly tell him what he can do, or under what conditions he can do it. For example, he did not go to kindergarten due to physical reasons these days. He often wanted to cut paper at home, so I told him: \”Mom can play with scissors when she is around. When you want to play, you must put the scissors down first.\” For example, if he wants to help me wash the dishes, I won\’t do it. If you refuse simply and rudely, put him in a waterproof apron and change into dry clothes promptly after playing in the water. For example, when he had a dispute with a friend, I no longer talked about what was wrong, but focused on how to communicate well. The subconscious is the source of long-term control of people\’s behavior. Using negative language for a long time will make children subconsciously feel that they are not good enough. The baby wants to climb the stairs by himself, and you say: \”Be careful, don\’t fall.\” This conveys to the baby that they are not capable. If you change it to \”Let\’s walk slowly, one step at a time.\” and demonstrate it to them, give it to them. What the baby conveys is safety awareness. In life, if you are worried about somethingsituation happens, then it is more likely to happen. When we refuse to be the bearers of negative language, we can set a positive example for our children, and their social skills and emotional intelligence will be higher.