What are children thinking about when they are timid and nervous? How to increase his self-confidence?

As adults, when we face new situations, we may feel excited but also a little anxious. For example, a newcomer who has just joined the job, or a veteran who has moved to a new environment, will more or less consider how I am performing, what others will think of me, and how my initial performance will help or help me in this new environment. Influence. For children, this anxiety is even more pronounced. Because when a child is in a new environment or facing strangers, he will worry: What will happen after being separated from his parents? At the same time, children will also be afraid: What will strangers do to me in a strange environment? If I accidentally do something wrong, will it make my parents unhappy? I\’m a little at a loss. Why aren\’t my parents accompanying me? However, in real life, we often see another style of painting. Many parents will say to their children, \”There\’s nothing to be afraid of. Why don\’t you be bolder? Everyone here is acquaintances. You all know these uncles and aunts. What are you afraid of?\” Have you ever said something similar to your children? Although there are many truths to be said, it may not be effective in helping children face these social situations and help children build self-confidence. Because the child\’s emotional experience has not been accepted by the parents, but has been pushed by the parents towards an unknown environment. Accept your child\’s state. Some parents can detect their children\’s social anxiety and come up with corresponding ways to accompany and encourage their children. These practices can often help children relieve inner tension, enhance their self-confidence, and allow them to explore the world more boldly. Because parents can accept their children\’s nervousness and their true state, they provide support to their children. Support can make children feel that no matter what, their parents accept them. For a young child, his parents are the most important people in his life and their world. If the world cannot accept the child\’s anxiety, the child\’s anxiety will have nowhere to rest. At the same time, the child will become more and more anxious and less confident. However, when children receive enough support from their parents, when they are ready, they will be interested in new environments and new people again, and they will not be as nervous and afraid as before. Confidence is something that can be learned through little by little training. Confidence is the process of broadening the world of my children step by step in my relationship with my parents. Facing nervousness together, we tell the children what they may encounter and the people they may meet in the new environment, and what they can do. At the same time, we work with the children to find ways to face it. For example, when you are preparing to take your child to a gathering among relatives and friends, we can tell the child: This is mom’s class reunion. There will be some mom’s former classmates, and there may also be some children you have never seen before; you You can choose to play with them, or you can choose to stay with your mother; if you don\’t know what to do, you can ask your mother and we can discover some interesting things together. Slowly, children will learn ways and attitudes to deal with problems from us, and self-confidence will gradually be internalized in their hearts. we oftenWhat is often referred to as character or personality is actually the attitudes and beliefs that children learn from their parents and internalize in their own hearts. The interactions we have with important loved ones during childhood, especially our relationships with our parents, are internalized deep within us. Throughout our lives, our behavioral patterns are a process in which these internal relationships are projected onto external interpersonal relationships. We will project these relationship patterns onto everything external, such as your relationship with your lover, colleagues, and friends, and their relationship patterns also form our personality or life attitude, such as self-confidence, self-love, and self-blame. We often hear many people say that we must learn to accept ourselves, love ourselves, believe in ourselves, and other self-hypnosis or self-suggestion words. However, this is not easy to do if our inner model has not learned these beliefs. For example, some people make some small mistakes at work. Although they have not received any punishment or criticism, they can\’t help but blame themselves. Others just believe they can do better next time and keep looking for better ways. This is the difference in the inner model of each of us. This is also the attitude and belief in life that we learned from our parents since childhood. Because they have felt love and tolerance from their parents since childhood, they have felt the emotional connection with their parents, and they have felt the emotional support from their parents.