You can die for your children, but you can’t let go of your phone?

Last weekend, a good friend called me and said that he beat his child so hard that his intestines were almost turning green. It turned out that her son, who had always loved reading, had recently become obsessed with computer games. She said that the child acted like a man possessed as soon as he sat down and even responded to his calls. She got angry and couldn\’t help but beat him severely. While beating him, he yelled angrily: \”You are deaf, right? I don\’t deserve to call you a dozen times.\” Unexpectedly, the son cried and retorted: \”What qualifications do you have to beat me? When you were playing on your mobile phone, I called you you.\” You didn\’t even pay attention to me!\” When my friend, who was still angry at first, heard this, he suddenly couldn\’t lift his palm… That afternoon I went to her house to comfort her, and Dan\’s mother brought a few pieces to her son as usual. When I was reading a new book with my child, I found that he had not finished reading the original books. I asked him if he didn\’t look good, and the child replied: \”There are some words in it that I don\’t recognize and can\’t understand.\” \”Didn\’t mom and dad tell you?\” \”Mom and dad always play with their mobile phones and don\’t play with me, and they don\’t give me picture books. I read it and let me read it myself…\” The child suddenly looked sad and said to me aggrievedly. Dan’s mother felt distressed when she heard her children’s words, but my friend’s complaints reminded me of my article a few days ago ☞ I always said that your children owe you something, but this article tells you what you owe your children! A passage written in Don’t Cry after Reading: I never take my children to play, but I always blame them for sitting at home playing on the computer every day; I never tell stories, don’t read to my children, and I don’t read books myself, but I always wonder why my children are doing it. Why don\’t you love reading… You can die for your children but you can\’t put down your mobile phone. I don\’t know since when, mobile phones have become the biggest public enemy that affects family harmony, children\’s education, and even threatens children\’s safety: • A second grader in Taizhou, Zhejiang A child recorded in his composition \”his saddest March 8th Festival\”: he helped his mother beat her back and wash her feet, but she kept looking at her mobile phone. • In August last year, a tragedy occurred in the parking lot of a department store in Zhengzhou. A two-year-old child was run over by an off-road vehicle that had just pulled out of the parking space while playing. He died on the spot. The child\’s mother said that she looked down at the time. Cell phone, raised his head, the child was already lying under the wheel. We always only see the harm of children playing with mobile phones, but ignore how harmful our own playing with mobile phones is to our children: 1. Mobile phones are an \”infectious disease\”: Parents are the first window for children to understand the world. The more fascinated you are with mobile phones, the more curious your children will be about mobile phones; if your only hobby is looking at mobile phones, your children’s interests will become wider. As a parent, one of the most ridiculous things is to teach your children \”Don\’t do what I do, do what I say.\” 2. Parents love to play with mobile phones, but children have little interest in learning: When children learn about the world, they need their parents’ attention. When you find that your child is curious and timid about something, encourage him to explore with your eyes, explain to him with words, and act with actions. He demonstrates and gives prompt recognition when he performs well. Instead of looking at the phone and hearing the child shouting, using a perfunctory tone and empty praise to extinguish the child\’s enthusiasm for exploring the world. 3. Parents love to play with mobile phones, and children have poor language expression skills: When we accompany our children wholeheartedly, we will run out of things to talk to and actively talk to them a lot; but when we already have mobile phonesFor this interesting playmate, all we can say to our children is the passive \”Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.\” Even if our children want to say something to us and see us so fascinated by playing with our mobile phones, they will understand and walk away silently. Children\’s language expression ability must be based on listening more to and talking to their parents. Mobile phones create silence and indifference, and deprive children of the opportunity to speak. 4. Parents love to play with mobile phones, and children have low emotional intelligence and poor social interaction: The Department of Psychology at the University of Manchester once conducted a very famous experiment: the still face experiment. Before the experiment, the mother and her child were allowed to interact normally. The child was very happy and responded positively. When the experiment began, the mother was expressionless. The child has noticed something is wrong and begins to think of ways to get his mother\’s attention. The child continued to try to get his mother to interact with him, but the mother remained expressionless and finally the child began to break down and cry. In the complete video, the mother in this experiment at least still looked at her child, and when the child faced us who were immersed in our mobile phones, they would have a broken feeling of being left out. Regarding the experimental results, psychology professor Tenofanni said: For infants and young children whose brains are rapidly developing, if the living environment lacks family interaction and positive responses, cells in key parts of the child\’s brain may stop developing due to lack of stimulation, leading to emotional and thinking defects. , irreparable for life. Only by putting down your mobile phone and letting your children see your face and the emotion on your face. Only in such \”affectionate and beautiful\” interactions can your children feel the flow of parent-child emotions, can your children have the opportunity to practice understanding more accurately. The opinions and feelings of others. What your mobile phone takes away is not just your time, it takes away your child’s future. Children who live in loneliness actually have troubles with their husbands because of their mobile phones. Men are very curious about why their wives hate their husbands playing with mobile phones. The reason is very simple, because it makes me feel: me! No! Heavy! want! I\’m not as important as your cell phone! You would rather play with your phone than accompany me! Comparing one\’s feelings with one\’s own, facing a pair of parents holding mobile phones all day long, the children\’s hearts are just as hurt as ours when our husbands ignore us. Dan’s mother feels that this may be the most serious harm caused by mobile phones to children: playing with mobile phones when accompanying children is a kind of naked cold violence. It makes children learn to feel inferior: I am not as important as a mobile phone; they learn to please: What should I do to get my parents to ignore me? Becoming rebellious: It turns out that my parents only pay attention to me when I do something wrong~ Becoming irritable: Why do you always ignore me! Why do you always deal with me! One of your unintentional actions made your child feel worthless. The mobile phone is the biggest third party that alienates the parent-child relationship. It hurts the child\’s eyes, brain, and heart. Because she is a public account, Dan’s mother is often inseparable from her mobile phone in her work. Although she often reminds herself, there are always times when she has to use her mobile phone to reply to something while holding Ding Dong. I don’t know since when, as soon as I picked up my phone, Dingdang would reach for my phone with all his strength. I also wondered: It’s over, it’s all my fault for being obsessed with mobile phones at such a young age. One time he finally succeeded. He got the phone but didn\’t play with it. Instead, he threw the phone away.He went to the side, then looked at me and smiled stupidly. I suddenly understood that it was not the mobile phone that the baby was interested in, but me. He\’s waiting for me to put down my phone and play with him! From that day on, no matter how busy I am, I will always put my phone aside when I am with my baby. After that incident, when I go out, I often pay attention to parents who have been looking at their mobile phones. Their children are either looking around with dull eyes and bored faces, or, like their parents, they are distracted by their iPads and mobile phones. Staring at the screen like a ghost. For every cell-addicted parent, there is a child living in loneliness. Wu Zhihong once said: \”For young children, loneliness will make their lives boring; for babies, loneliness means they are in hell all the time, and they will feel that the devil is haunting around them.\” Bad companionship is to use \”body\” Accompanying gives children \”heart\” loneliness, and good companionship is to accompany them with \”heart\”, allowing children to feel watched and experience love and safety. It means you put down your mobile phone and stay with your child with interest. Finally, Dan’s mother would like to share with you a video that I have collected for a long time, so that we can truly listen to the child’s voice: Every time I see the 35 seconds there, Dan’s eyes will blur with tears. The farthest distance in the world is when the child is standing in front of you. , but you are playing with your phone with your head down. Please put down your mobile phones and don’t let your children’s childhood memories be filled with only loneliness and you with a blurry face behind your mobile phone. I will always lament that mobile phones will accompany us for a lifetime, but children will only accompany us for a while. Don’t wait until you grow old. One day, I realized that I had missed too many happy moments with my children, hugging each other, and talking happily.