You yourself have lost your empathy, but you blame your child for being ignorant

I saw a mother complaining about her child on WeChat. I accidentally broke my child\’s beloved piggy bank. I apologized to my child and promised to buy a new one right away. But the child still refused to let go. He cried all morning and was angry with himself. He said it was so difficult to raise a child and I really wanted to beat him up. Wouldn\’t it be enough to just buy one? Is it really enough to just buy one? A child\’s beloved thing has been destroyed. Do you really understand how he feels? Many parents only see something broken and just buy a new one. But the child has already established a connection with this object in his heart. If you do this, it will only make the child sad. I remember a relative gave me a bicycle when I was in middle school. It has accompanied me on many country roads. I feel sorry for this friend of mine when we encounter rough ground. I often talk to it on deserted paths to relieve boredom. If he accidentally fell into a ditch, he would dust himself off and say sorry to him. When I was in high school, this beat-up bicycle sat upstairs. Covered with dust. But I still know it\’s always there. One day I went upstairs and discovered that it was missing. Quickly ask grandma. She said casually, \”Sold it, sold it to a scrap collector.\” \”Why don\’t you tell me.\” \”It\’s just a broken car. It\’s good to sell it as scrap.\” I felt very uncomfortable at the time. I felt like a good friend. Like being abandoned. \”Here, here\’s 30 yuan!\” \”I don\’t want it,\” and then ran out angrily. \”I really don\’t understand, what is there to be angry about.\” The old man was still very puzzled. Parents often do this and ignore their children\’s inner thoughts. Replace your child\’s feelings with your own. And they often blame the children for being ignorant. If you can stand next to your child, you can empathize with your child\’s feelings. What a great thing that is for children. Every time I see adults saying to their children: \”It\’s okay, I\’ll buy it for you.\” \”It\’s okay, it will be fine in a few days.\” \”Really, I always like to cry. I really don\’t know why you are crying.\” \”You It\’s really unreasonable, I don\’t care about you.\” \”If you make trouble again, I will beat you!\” I was worried about this child. As a parent, if you know the three words \”empathy\”, the parent-child relationship will be closer, and the children will be more cooperative with your upbringing. And you won\’t always be swayed by your emotions and become a resentful mother or an angry mother. Empathy (English: Empathy), also known as perspective taking, empathy or empathy, refers to a way of thinking from the other person\’s point of view, that is, in the process of interpersonal communication, the ability to understand other people\’s emotions and thoughts. understand other people’s positions and feelings, and think and deal with problems from others’ perspectives. It is mainly reflected in aspects related to emotional intelligence such as emotional self-control, perspective taking, listening ability, and expression of respect. (Quoted from Wikipedia) Let’s take a look at how this animated short film explains empathy in an interesting and thorough way. The video is 2 minutes and 29 seconds long. Please watch it in a WiFi environment. Imagine that you are a fox, very sad and sad, and your emotions are like falling into the bottom of a well, trapped in the darkness and shivering. You hope that someone will climb to the bottom of the well and tell you, \”I understand how you feel. I am with you. You are not alone.\”I still hope that there is someone standing at the top of the well and shouting to you, \”Oh my God, you look so pitiful!\” I think most people would like someone to stand by their side, understand them, and accompany them. Don\’t always reason with your children, they need your understanding more. I remember a few days ago, my son came back from playing outside and told me that he wanted to watch cartoons. But the food was already on the table, so I said we should eat first and watch for 30 minutes after the meal. But he didn\’t listen, because he had promised in the morning that he could watch it for a while when he came back in the afternoon. But you have to eat, because the food in winter gets cold all of a sudden. I was a little angry at first, but looking at an angry child. I thought I couldn\’t add fuel to the fire any more, so I\’d better put myself in his shoes. So I squatted down in front of him, and he pushed me away with an unhappy look on his face. I expressed my thoughts again, hoping that he would eat first. Still no use. When children are swayed by emotions, their ears cannot listen to reason. But their body senses are sensitive. So I said to him, \”Daddy, give me a hug! Okay?\” At this time, he half pushed me and half came over. I picked him up and said to him: \”My period is so heavy that dad can\’t hold him anymore. Dad knows that you are in a bad mood now. You want to watch cartoons very much, right? You don\’t want dad to criticize you, either.\” But you can\’t control it, right?\” He nodded, and his face became much calmer. \”Come, daddy will take you to wash your hands, let\’s go together!\” At this time, he was very cooperative and we went to wash our hands together. Because I did not continue to reason, but to understand him. With parents\’ understanding, every child will become sensible and cooperative. Especially children in their teenage years. The psychological and physical problems they encounter have increased dramatically. Sometimes it is often beyond their ability to handle. If parents just preach and scold. It will only push the child very far. We should always be like \”children\” and stay with our children. Put yourself in the child’s position and perspective and be more understanding. Parents’ empathy often protects their children’s empathy. And if parents don’t have empathy, it’s difficult to raise empathetic children. We can find this out from our interactions with children. Some children are very popular because they always consider each other in everything. And you can get some good friends who can confide in you. But some children can never find friends. Even if he always has a lot of pocket money or good toys, he can\’t make real friends. It is often related to the child\’s lack of empathy. In fact, children are born with this ability, but sometimes it is destroyed by their parents. In order for their children not to be bullied and to be smart people, some parents impatiently teach their children how to weigh the pros and cons and instill a lot of life principles into their children every day. I saw a little story: There was a child whose grandmother was old. The old man was afraid of death and said to the child: \”Grandma is going to die.\” Others would say: \”Oh, you will live a long life, you will not die.\” .” The child said: “Ah! I can’t bear to part with that!” What a touching sentence, because no matter how many useless comforts, they can’t be worth the most touching words of truth. On the way to raising their children, parents should keep their children’s most original true feelingsSincerity. Of course, you must first be a sincere person. Instead of saying one thing with your mouth and another behind your back. You can\’t always complain about this or that, as if the whole world owes you. In fact, let yourself be like a child and stay with your child. Have this empathy, whether it’s parenting or nurturing yourself. Or family and marriage can get more happiness. It can also help us better understand the world.