This is the best time to educate your children, one sentence is worth a hundred! It’s a pity that 90% of parents don’t know

Do you understand the subtext of children saying \”no\”? Many parents leave messages in the background, complaining that their children are disobedient and always like to start everything with the word \”no\”. Their favorite thing is to respond to the instructions given by their parents by adding the word \”no\”. \”Sleep!\” \”Don\’t sleep!\” \”Call aunt!\” \”Don\’t call!\” \”Stop watching TV and go do your homework!\” \”Don\’t write!\” \”It\’s cold today, wear more clothes\” \”No Wear it!\” Parents set a lot of rules for their children about what they can do, what they cannot do, and when they should do things. Parents hope that their children can abide by them. Once the child resists, parents will wishfully conclude that the child is disobedient. When faced with their children\’s disobedience, many parents are accustomed to focusing on correcting their children, denying their children\’s emotions as a matter of course, and completely refusing to accept their feelings. Parents are really annoyed when their children go against everything. But in fact, children have the right to refuse their parents\’ instructions and to make their own demands. I believe many parents have heard the term \”self-awareness\”. The root cause of a child\’s disobedience is his self-awareness. Children know that \”I am me, I have my own hands, arms and legs, I have my own ideas, and I can do what I want to do\”, so the so-called \”disobedience\” arises, and parents This is where the troubles arise. This phenomenon is a milestone in individual psychological development and a sign of children\’s growth. Moreover, this self-awareness will allow children to restructure the rules set by their parents. In other words, when children say \”no\”, the subtext is \”Can we change this rule?\” \”Can I re-formulate this rule?\” At this time, it is the parents who educate their children, help them establish rules, and The perfect time to follow the rules. It is easier for children to obey if they have weight than if they are high decibels. Many parents will uncontrollably scold or threaten their children without noticing that such methods will cause more problems. On the one hand, spanking and scolding not only fail to achieve the desired results, but also make children become more withdrawn and unable to establish close relationships with family members. Therefore, when a child refuses our instructions, we can first listen to the child\’s inner voice. For example, a child throws away toys and books but refuses to put them away immediately. We can ask the children: \”Why don\’t you want to clean up now? If you don\’t clean up now, when are you going to clean up?\” By asking these questions, we can understand what the children are thinking and give them the autonomy to do it themselves. Make rules. If the time comes and the child still fails to implement the rules he set, the parents may lose control and start yelling at the child and nagging them endlessly. At this time, parents have overlooked one point. In many cases, weighty words can make children obey more than high decibels. In other words, the mother can give such a simple, clear and non-rejectable instruction: \”Please put the toys and books in order now, and I will watch you finish it!\” We just stand in front of the child, look at him, and let them Know that we are not joking, we are very serious, children mustPay attention until he completes the rules he set for himself. This is to make them understand that once they set rules for themselves, they must abide by them. Let children learn to bear consequences. Parents must not only admit that children have their own thoughts, feelings, rights and space, but also believe that even if children really make mistakes, they can learn from their mistakes. When Ruirui was young, he also had many bad habits. He didn\’t eat well, didn\’t tidy up his toys, littered, didn\’t complete his homework on time, and often turned a deaf ear to my requests. When presenting facts and reasoning and all kinds of deception and deception fail, I will use the \”natural consequences method\”. Ruirui likes cars the most, but he always throws car toys all over the living room. After many warnings to no avail, I will tell him: \”If you don\’t tidy up, your car will drive away.\” There are traffic rules when driving and parking. If you don\’t park it in the parking space, the traffic police will tow it away.\” Of course he couldn\’t see the car the next day because I hid it. From then on, Ruirui\’s toys will be neatly placed in the cabinet one by one. This method has worked well for Rui Rui. When Rui Rui first went to school, she didn\’t get up on time and didn\’t complete her homework in time. Then, I will respect his ideas and let him do what he wants. Of course, the consequences of this are being late for class and being criticized by the teacher because the homework is not completed. But since then, he has understood that there are rules for going to school, and he lives by the rules. Once he breaks the rules, he will have to bear the consequences. Although parents must discipline and guide their children, this does not mean that parents are dictators. Every word they say must be regarded as imperial decree by the children and they must not have any opinions. Parents should respect their children, let go appropriately, and encourage their children to express their thoughts. Children will learn the freedom and happiness to make decisions and be independent from their parents\’ respect and letting go, slowly learn self-management skills, and naturally establish good rules and regulations.