Whether a child is successful or not depends on how the mother talks! I regret seeing it

Once, when Rui\’s mother attended an education lecture, she heard an expert say this: \”The way a mother speaks determines whether the child will be successful in the future, especially if the mother often speaks words of encouragement and appreciation, which can turn an idiot into a genius. .\” It sounded too exaggerated at the time, but later it was confirmed bit by bit: Mother\’s encouragement will indeed make children outstanding. Let me tell you a story first: My neighbor Sister Chen’s son is in the second grade of elementary school. His grades have always been among the top five in the class and he is also very well-behaved. In the eyes of us outsiders, he is simply a model of “other people’s children”. It stands to reason that Sister Chen should admire his son very much and be proud of his achievements. But every time I hear Sister Chen talk about her son, she always looks gloomy: \”Our child just refuses to put in more effort in his studies. Otherwise, why would he always be in the top 5 and not get the 3rd place?\” 1.\” At first, we thought Sister Chen was being modest, but every time when the results came back, we could hear Sister Chen\’s voice lecturing her son: \”Look, this is the result of your not working hard enough, hurry up and study. Try to get first place in the exam next time.\” Even in normal times, it is rare to hear Sister Chen praise her children. For example, if a child eats slowly, Sister Chen will say: \”It\’s a waste of time to eat so slowly.\” When the child reads for a while, Sister Chen will nag her again: \”You\’ve memorized all the textbooks, and you still have time to read them.\” This?\” But no matter how much Sister Chen urged her, the child\’s grades did not improve. In the latest exam, they fell back a lot. Sister Chen complained to us when we met, why did her son regress when we asked him to study hard? In fact, the reason is very simple. How can a child who is not confident in his heart have the motivation to work hard and make progress? We will see this scene in life: when a child fails in an exam, if the mother does not criticize the child, but tells him: \”You are already great, as long as you work hard, you will be better next time. Mom believes in you\”, The result of saying this is often that the child really gets better as the mother said. This is the power of appreciation. Everyone hopes that others will appreciate them, and everyone likes to hear others praise them, especially the sincere praise from their mother. When a child performs well, the mother\’s praise will allow the child to experience the joy of being rewarded for his hard work, thereby increasing his self-confidence, and he will work harder and become better in the future; when the child performs poorly, he needs the mother\’s appreciation even more. and encouragement can help children gain confidence. Will children become proud if they only appreciate and encourage them? I believe that many mothers have this worry: When they don’t praise their children, their children will want to go to heaven. If they praise them often, how proud will they be? Children are all different, and appreciation will naturally vary from person to person. When a mother appreciates her child, she must pay attention to propriety and method. Otherwise, it will easily have the opposite effect. Just as the mother worries, the child will become arrogant and arrogant. Moreover, appreciating and encouraging children does not mean tolerating and laissez-faire. When a child makes a mistake, he must be criticized and punished when he deserves it, so that the child can continue to improve and become better. When it comes to appreciating children, mothers pay attention to skills so that children can become better! Appreciation should be treated as a child in timeWhen the child performs well or makes progress, the mother must praise it in time, so that the child can understand that his performance at that time is good and stick to this behavior. The situation reappears. The child is usually very playful and does not like to do homework. It is of no use to her mother to urge her every day. But suddenly one day, before the mother could remind her, the child came back from school and started doing his homework obediently. When the mother saw her son being so self-conscious, she was naturally very happy and happily said to her son: \”My son is great! He has taken the initiative to learn. Mom is so proud of you.\” After the son heard his mother\’s praise, he was also very happy and made up his mind. We should also take the initiative to learn in the future. Although this time I took the initiative to write the homework because I was punished by the teacher at school. Praise children should be specific or too general. It is easy for children to be confused about what they have done well for which they are praised. And when a child performs well, targeted praise for what the child has done will make the child realize his own excellence, strengthen this performance, and persevere. The scene reappears: a child once took a bus with his mother. An old man came up halfway. The child took the initiative to give up his seat when he saw him. Don\’t think that this is what children should do. Mothers should praise their children in time: \”You are awesome! You know how to respect the elderly at such a young age. You are such a sensible and good child.\” After the child hears his mother\’s words, he will respect the elderly in the future. This thing has persisted. Appreciation should pay attention to the process. Because children are young and lack experience, many times they do bad things with good intentions. The scene reappeared after the family had dinner. The mother was clearing the dishes. When the son saw it, he ran over to help his mother. However, he accidentally dropped the dishes to the ground and broke. The child was worried about being scolded and cried anxiously. Unexpectedly, his mother not only did not criticize him, but also praised him and said: \”My son is really filial. He wants to help his mother with the housework. He will definitely be a good family man in the future.\” After hearing what his mother said, the son immediately burst into tears and laughed. , and continued to help my mother clean up. Words are magical, especially mother\’s words, which have a great impact on children. If you want your children to be excellent, you might as well start by learning to appreciate them.