When I think about the possibility of raising four grandchildren when I grow old, I simply regret having a second child.

I went back to my hometown during the Spring Festival and had a small gathering with some of my high school classmates. Naturally, we reminisced about the past and talked about the present at the dinner table. My husband and I were high school classmates, and we brought our second child, Xiaonuo, with us, so the topic of the second child soon came up. Will you have a second child? The answers of several female classmates were basically the same: they are too old to take risks. The answers from male students were varied. Some had already given birth to their second child, some said they were under too much financial pressure, and some said their wives were unwilling. There is a wealthy father of two children here. When people asked him whether he would have three children, his answer was: \”My mother disagrees\”! This answer is quite beyond my expectation. Most of the older generation think that having more children means more blessings. They have seen many mothers-in-law urging their daughters-in-law to have a second child. This is the first time I heard that old people object to having more grandchildren. It turns out that this classmate has a younger brother and sister. The age gap between the three siblings is large. Now they all have given birth to a second child. Basically, the six grandchildren are raised by the old mother. After going through this cycle, the old man was really scared, so he told them not to have three children… After listening to what his classmate said, imagine his mother raising 6 grandchildren. Assume that each one is two or three years apart. This is ten or twenty years! Counting from the age of more than 50 years old, after taking care of the grandson, you will be almost 70 years old. What kind of old age life is this! It’s been more than seven years since I quit my job and stayed at home. It’s hard to describe my feelings about the “career” of being a stay-at-home mom. Especially during the three years when the second child was still young and could not go to kindergarten, daily life was a mess. Get up early in the morning to make breakfast for Dabao and her husband, and wait for them to go back to sleep after they go out. When Erbao wakes up, the \”messy\” mode will be fully activated. Dealing with the child\’s eating, drinking, toileting, and sleeping is enough to cause backache and back pain. She also has to buy groceries, cook and wash clothes, pay attention to her child\’s physical and mental health, take her out for walks, read and tell her stories, and doesn\’t even have time to take a breath every day. Faced with the ever-mounting pile of housework, I often feel like crying. In the evening, I have to pick up Dabao from school, cook dinner, and help with homework. During the busiest time, I held the crying Erbao in my left hand, and while patting and coaxing the child with my right hand, I signed Dabao\’s homework while saying, \”Don\’t cry, don\’t cry… I calculated the question wrong.\” What dress? , high heels, cosmetics, those are all things from a previous life. Clothes are only for covering the body, and food is for filling the belly. I look disheveled all day long, praying in my heart that I will never meet my former classmates and colleagues! What supports me down the road is the carrot that is always hanging in front of me: just wait until the child grows up! When my second baby was in the stage of pooping and peeing, I thought it would be fine just waiting for her to go to kindergarten. Now that Erbao has finally entered kindergarten, Dabao, who is 7 years older than her, has entered the period of youth rebelliousness. I thought it would be fine just waiting for her to pass the \”secondary school\” stage. In three to five years, Dabao will no longer be rebellious and will enter high school. At that time, what I probably thought was: just wait until she finishes the college entrance examination. When the college entrance examination for the older students is over, it’s time for the younger ones to start rebellious. When the younger one is eighteen or nineteen years old, the college entrance examination is over. Thanks to God, if both children successfully enter college, my messy life will be over, right? Can life enter a new chapter? As a person in my fifties and sixties, while I can still walk, can I pursue poetry and distant places? What if, what if I become a grandmother at this time? likeWhat if I want to take care of the baby for my eldest child? Let us imagine what the life of a \”full-time grandma\” is like: getting up first every morning, making breakfast for the office workers, and waiting for them to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen after they go out. Then he began to serve the little ancestor and took care of the child alone for a whole day. Just like a stay-at-home mom, she has to buy groceries, cook, wash clothes, clean, and all the housework. Compared with full-time mothers, stay-at-home grandmothers are more tired and more difficult: they are older, their physical strength has declined, their energy is not as good as before, and their legs and feet are not as flexible. A young stay-at-home mother may suffer from backache after raising her child alone for a whole day, not to mention a stay-at-home grandma. She may even feel soreness in her bones! A stay-at-home mother can confidently tell her husband how much money she needs to buy groceries, but a stay-at-home grandmother is likely to have to spend her own savings or pension. A stay-at-home mother is in a bad mood and occasionally yells at her children. Although she often regrets it afterwards, no one blames her. If a stay-at-home grandma is in a bad mood and yells at her grandson, it is not as simple as regretting and blaming herself. It will probably depend on the face of her son-in-law or daughter-in-law. It doesn’t matter if the stay-at-home mother is not good at cooking. The children will always think that the food cooked by the mother is the most delicious, and the children’s father will not say anything. Nuo Xi’s mother and I are a living example. If the food cooked by the stay-at-home grandma doesn\’t taste good… well, I refuse to imagine that. Even though stay-at-home mothers are treading on thin ice when educating their children, no one will comment on your educational philosophy or make irresponsible remarks on your feeding methods. Although a stay-at-home grandma does not have to take full responsibility for the education of her children, she still has to feed her children, right? Do you want to talk and communicate with your children? Do you want to read a nursery rhyme and tell a story to your children? Then you are likely to have to face all kinds of criticism and criticism from the child\’s mother, and be re-educated by her at all times. Stay-at-home mothers can openly complain about the hard work of raising children and use all kinds of complaints to vent their negative emotions; stay-at-home mothers can only swallow their anger and pretend that raising children is \”So easy!\”…any more will make people feel angry! none! Can! love! Therefore, if you have a full-time grandma at home, no matter what, you must know how to be grateful! In the era of only children, mothers only raised one child, and grandma and grandma only had one grandson. The elderly all hoped to enjoy family happiness. Under the two-child policy, a woman is exhausted from raising two children when she is young. If she has to raise four grandchildren when she is old, she will have to raise six children in her lifetime! From the prime of youth in their twenties and thirties to the old age of sixty or seventy, can you not get rid of shit and piss in your life? What kind of life is this! It’s really scary to think about it! Therefore, I no longer dare to casually advise having a second child. As for myself, I can only work hard from now on to avoid possible tragic situations in the future. I must manage the second half of my life well, and I must not be kidnapped by my children and grandchildren! You must study hard, work hard, and have your own pursuits and \”careers.\” We can\’t let everyone look down upon me and think that I can be on call at any time and can be \”sacrificed\” at any time to take care of the naughty children. We also need to ask Nuoxi\’s father to make a lot of money. If the sisters are in financial difficulty in the future, we can pay to hire a nanny to take care of their children day and night instead of me. I still have so muchThe dream has not come true, there are so many sights that have not been seen, and there are so many experiences that have not been experienced. We must not just sink into milk powder and diapers! The most ideal situation is that you still have the freedom to choose when you are old: you can accompany you, or you can visit!