After becoming a mother, I no longer dare to laugh at naughty children

Came back from Australia the day before yesterday. A bunch of friends made an appointment, but I said I couldn\’t meet because my nanny didn\’t come back and I had to take care of the baby at home. A friend couldn\’t wait any longer and said, \”You can take the baby with you and we can play together.\” My first reaction was to refuse. This friend and I have known each other for several years, and he always looks calm and calm when I see him, and he has everything under control. Bringing a child to meet people, this is the rhythm of self-destruction. Finally, I decided to meet, but I was vaccinated in advance: I can\’t guarantee that the conversation will be effective. The whole process was a bit tense. My child is a homebody and doesn\’t like to go out. I lured him and told him to go to KFC in the mall opposite to buy a children\’s meal. During the Chinese New Year, children’s packages were distributed with toys. There were four kinds of toys. We got three sets, and there was still a Monkey King that we didn’t make up for. We went happily, and the waiter told us that the event was over. I was almost sweating. At this moment, whether it will collapse or not depends entirely on God. I quickly asked if there was a new children\’s set meal, and the waiter said yes and would give books. Thank God, this kid loves to read. The crisis was finally resolved. While eating, I didn\’t even raise my head, I just focused on reading a book. My friend asked him why he didn\’t want to eat. I said nonchalantly, \”It\’s okay. Let him do it.\” I cursed in my heart, I really don’t give my mother face. But they immediately feel ashamed of their good face. Adults often hope that their children will behave obediently and well-educated in front of others. Basically, they want others to see that you have the ability to tame children. I also have this vanity, but after all, I have no power to act. I finished flipping through a book and listened to our chatting. Looking at those two eyes in a daze, I felt sleepy. I held the baby in my arms, patted the butt hard, and continued chatting. In order to make him sleep comfortably, I also put one foot on a chair next to him. When the baby looked at my face, he started to touch my arms with his hands. I think my friend was shocked. He is usually a pretty lady, but now he couldn\’t even sit down and his breasts were assaulted in public. I woke up after sleeping for more than an hour, and still didn\’t eat anything. I said I wanted to drink juice, so I ran out and bought a glass of juice and came back to finish it. My friend and I haven\’t finished talking yet, and I want to put him in the sand pool to play in the sand, which will create some space for our conversation. On the way to the sand pool, the child passed by a Lego store and couldn\’t walk when he saw the cartoon playing in front of the store. I told my friend that I wouldn’t let him watch TV at home, and there was nothing I could do about it when he got out. After saying that, I immediately felt ridiculous again. After watching the TV, he took us to the store and pointed out the characters he just saw on TV one by one. I thought to myself, you can’t ask me to buy it for you. I haven’t finished putting it together yet. But what would happen to me if he really wanted to? Will you insist on not buying it and let him roll on the ground? I don\’t think I will. When I didn’t have children, I heard someone say that their children should buy whatever they want. I thought this parent was extremely stupid. Only after I had a child did I realize that at this time, I wanted to pay the bill and leave as soon as possible, so as not to cause trouble to others and waste my friends\’ time. In addition, I also think that if we can afford it, why should we let our children cry over a toy? If one day I really like something that I can\’t afford, I\’ll just tell him that I can\’t afford it. I\’ll do my best, but I\’m not omnipotent. When it was time for dinner, I took out the menu and asked him to order, because he only ate what he ordered, and he often didn’t eat what adults ordered. When eating something he doesn\’t like, he vomits it out. I tell him that you don\’t have to like something, but you have to be graceful when vomiting, and don\’t vomit directly into your bib, because his bib is babybjorn. The kind with a pocket underneath. I told my friends, you know why I don’t write about parenting topics, because I really can’t do it well, I can’t control it, I can’t handle it, and I’m not qualified to write about it. Moreover, in parenting, what is right and what is wrong has not been settled, and you don’t know the outcome at all. I have seen many well-behaved children who thought they were well-disciplined, but when they reached adolescence, they rebelled! I have also seen many children who have always been excellent and made their parents proud, but when they grow up, they become depressed! Even if you were not rebellious in adolescence or depressed as an adult, how do you know that he will not be depressed in the future? The set of things of love and freedom that I follow now is my personal adventure and choice. It\’s your own business to choose, but if you use it as experience, there will be a problem. We say not to use your own past experiences to educate your children, but it is impossible for people to escape their own cognitive limitations. For example, my parents were very strict when I was a child, so now I don’t want my child to grow up like this, but I want to give him free space. In fact, this still hasn’t gotten rid of the shadow of one’s own growth. When I didn’t have children, I felt that the world was full of naughty children and the world was full of parents who couldn’t teach their children well. When I have children, I just shut up. I remember a few years ago, several friends and I made an appointment to travel abroad. Two of my friends had children, and the children were chattering and noisy along the way. I complained secretly in my heart, can\’t you tell them to shut up? You look so incompetent on the plane! Going to a scenic spot one day is even more exaggerated. When we got in the car, one person didn\’t come. When I asked why, it turned out that the child didn\’t want to come out and just wanted to stay in the hotel. I thought at that time, after traveling such a long way and spending so much money, why don’t you just say you won’t go? It’s too willful! It’s so useless for these parents to let their children do everything! I took my children to New Zealand two days ago, also with many friends. I\’m usually very agile and punctual, but now I\’m a drag, apologizing every time we get together, and doing everything a little slower than others. It\’s best to shut up and don\’t talk in public places, but a four-year-old kid\’s head can\’t stop for a moment. When he opens a book, he has to ask you to read it to him line by line, and he must make up for every missing line. I was actually quite embarrassed. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that this mother was crazy and cramming her with education, and she didn’t even look at where she was teaching her children. The most depressing thing is that the children are not interested in the scenery that the adults see. From time to time, they will get into moods and either need to be hugged or coaxed. Do I blame him? No. I planned the trip and arranged where I went. These things are what adults like. It’s not easy for a child to accompany you. If he doesn’t like it and is unhappy, there’s nothing to blame. No matter how tired or embarrassed I am , you can only admit it yourself. On the last day, we went to the zoo and the aquarium. The baby had no emotions at all, he no longer cried or fussed, and he no longer wanted to be held while walking.I don’t need anyone to coax me to eat anymore, I’m so well-behaved. I know that in the eyes of others, I am probably a doting mother, and my baby is also a disobedient naughty child. Just like I looked at others back then. But I won\’t hurt my child just to save face. Of course I\’m not necessarily right. But who can say that his educational methods are definitely correct? I used to be the pride of my family, a good student and a good girl, but then I became the family\’s biggest problem. I fell in love early and skipped classes and was tired of studying. At the age of 17, I committed suicide by burning charcoal. Later, I went to a leading company in China\’s communications industry. Now it seemed that my father was good at teaching his daughter again, but within a few days I resigned and became a housewife. Life is long and complicated. I don’t know how to measure the success of a person’s education, but I think it is enough if her children can grow up healthy and happy. Two days ago I said I didn\’t want to have a second child, and many people said you were being selfish. In fact, I am under a lot of pressure. God has entrusted such an angelic baby to you. I cannot prepare myself for how to be a mother, and the results of upbringing are unpredictable. I really don’t dare to make my own education. I only hope to be a good companion and finally be able to show the child’s true self. In front of this world, it is considered that he has not committed any crime. Finally, I wish all children healthy growth.