Ten characteristics of \”harmful\” children! You must have a few, right?

Loving children is a common trait among parents all over the world, but love alone is not enough. Ten characteristics of \”harmful\” children! Today\’s children receive too much care. Parents and grandparents hold them in the palms of their hands for fear of falling, and hold them in their mouths for fear of melting. The following 10 forms of spoiled parenting are particularly harmful to children. How many of them do you have in your family? 1. I respect the child\’s status as superior to others in the family, and take special care in every aspect. For example, if he eats \”alone food\”, good food is placed in front of him for him to enjoy alone; if he is an \”only child\”, the grandparents can not celebrate his birthday, but the child can celebrate his birthday. Buying big cakes and giving gifts… 2. Paying too much attention to the fact that the family is always around the child and has no peace all day long. Such children are extremely distracted and \”crazy when people come\” is also particularly serious. Even when guests come, they can\’t even talk. . 3. Easily satisfy children by giving them whatever they want. Children do not know how to cherish things, pay attention to material enjoyment, like extravagance and waste, do not know how to be considerate of others, and have no tolerance or spirit of hardship. 4. Allow children to indulge in no rules in their eating, living, playing and studying. They can do whatever they want, sleep in, skip meals, wander around during the day, watch TV until late at night, etc. 5. Pray and accuse Parents always use a low profile to beg their children to cooperate in doing things. For example, they coax their children to eat and sleep at the same time, and promise to tell their children three stories before finishing the meal. 6. Arrangement and substitution: Children have to be fed when they are three or four years old, they do not know how to dress, they do not know how to do any housework when they are five or six years old, and they do not understand the joy of labor and the responsibility of helping parents reduce their burden. 7. Make a fuss. Many parents and grandparents panic and make a fuss when their children are sick. What is not a big deal becomes a big deal in the eyes of their children. Such children are timid and crybaby. Even when they are very old, they are accustomed to relying on their parents and will not let their parents leave. 8. Deprive the child of independence and worry about the safety of the child. The child is not allowed to go out of the house, nor is he allowed to play with other children. He is not even allowed to take a step away from his parents or the elderly. He cuddles him to sleep, sits next to him, and carries him on his back. This completely deprives the child. Opportunity for independence. 9. Fear of crying Because children have been accommodated since childhood, children will threaten their parents by crying, sleeping on the floor, or not eating when things don\’t go their way. Parents who spoil their children have no choice but to coax, surrender, comply, and accommodate. 10. Face-to-face protection Sometimes the father is in charge of the child, and the mother is protective: \”Don\’t be too strict, he is still young.\” Some parents teach their children, and the grandmother will stand up and say: \”Don\’t be too hasty in your demands, he will get better naturally when he is older. ; When you were young, you were far from as good as him! The story tells you: spoiling a child is like killing a child! There is an old Chinese saying: \” spoiling a child is like killing a child\”, which can be said to be an eternal truth. It means: excessive doting It is a kind of love that loses reason and directly destroys the physical and mental health of children. Tolstoy once wrote a story, which confirms this sentence: spoiling a child is harming him! There was a woman who wanted to take revenge on a man who had hurt her. , kidnapped his baby. She handed the child to a wizard and asked the wizard to use the most cruel method to retaliate against it. Soon, the wizard told the woman that he had used the most cruel method and asked her to go to the designated place Go and have a look. The woman didn\’t want to look at it. When she saw it, she was furious because the child was adopted by a local rich man. She immediately ran to blame the wizard, but the wizard told her not to worry.In the end, even this fierce woman felt that such revenge was too much. It turns out that this child grew up in pampering and luxury and did not have a strong body, a tenacious will and a hard-working spirit. Under the double blow of sudden family bankruptcy and poverty, he became weak and helpless, and his life went from bad to worse. Finally, after struggling in vain for a period of time, he finally committed suicide crazily. The child\’s life is too spoiled and too comfortable since he was a child, and the result is a tragedy. 01. Make children have no love in their hearts. Since birth, many children have received attention from parents, grandparents, etc. in all aspects. Children are surrounded by this kind of doting all day long. They only receive love but do not know how to give love. As the child grows older, everything becomes a habit. There is no love in the child\’s heart, and it becomes difficult to \”cure\” him. 02. Confusing children’s values. Children who grow up in a habitual environment often can do whatever they want. Without receiving the influence of correct values, they can do whatever they want. After entering the society, a series of things will happen. The problem. To give a real example, the news about Lin Miaoke\’s art exam has been aroused recently, and many stories about her have been revealed. For example, director Wang Weinian broke the news that the famous singer Jose Carreras was invited to an event, and Wang Weinian brought two famous child actors (one of whom was Huang Yujialin, a boy, and the other was Lin Miaoke) to pick him up. On the phone, the mother of one of the child stars said: Our daughter is somewhat famous now, so you have to pay more! The mother finally got her wish and got an extra 200 yuan. However, she bargained with the director in front of her daughter and collected the money very skillfully. How could she let her daughter grow up healthily? All my daughter has learned is how to put on a show quickly, how to fall out with fans, etc. 03. Deterioration of children\’s abilities. Parents are overly pampered, causing some of the child\’s functions to weaken or even disappear. When he grows up, he will be inferior to others in all aspects. Let’s take Lin Miaoke as an example. She didn’t dare go to the next class to borrow books. She didn’t learn to cross the street until she was in the third grade of junior high school. She shook her head during an interview at the age of 18 and pretended to be cute like she was 8 years old. Netizens and education experts generally believed that this was a failure in education. typical example. If parents never allow their children to do anything, causing all their abilities and instincts to disappear, how will they be able to face society in the future? 04. Restrict children\’s learning ability. Children with low learning ability will also encounter many obstacles in learning because the children\’s learning motivation is restricted by their parents\’ spoiled care. Lin Miaoke\’s mother once said: There are no secrets between her and her daughter. She can look through her daughter\’s collection, schoolbags, etc. at will. As a child star, the roles she takes, the endorsements she does, the clothes she wears, and how she speaks in public are probably all shaped by her mother. Lin Miaoke\’s failure in the drama and Beijing Film Academy examinations can be said to be the best illustration of the failure of spoiled children. For Lin Miaoke, premature fame and fortune and excessive favor may seem like a lucky gift, but in fact they are also a cruel test. For ordinary children, if parents want to enhance their children\’s abilities, they must not spoil their children, but must love them rationally. How to \”get used to it\” so as not to spoil your child? likeChildren are born from the nature of their parents, but parents should also pay attention to the fact that this kind of love should be moderate, and don’t let your love become an obstacle to the growth of your children: 01. Speak your love loudly, and do not hesitate to express your love. Children raised with love also understand Convey and express love and be a person with love in your heart. Dr. Harriet, director of the Parent Center at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania, USA, said that if you want to express love to your children correctly, parents should prepare such a checklist: Daily Love Checklist ① Tell you everything Child \”I love you\”. ②Convey your love for your child through gentle touch. ③ Pay attention to your children’s whereabouts and notice when they come back and when they go out. ④Tell your children what is right and what is wrong. ⑤Notice every little progress of your child. ⑥Ask your children for their opinions on you. ⑦ Answer the various questions asked by the children patiently and thoroughly. ⑧Appropriate responsibilities can be entrusted to older children. ⑨ Take advantage of the situation and let the children build their self-confidence. ⑩Respect the child’s personality. 02. Establish rules and adhere to principles from an early age. Parents should set rules for their children from an early age and adhere to principles. Parents themselves should also insist on doing so with their children every day. After a while, children will form a habit and naturally abide by it, and they can also gain a sense of security from clear boundaries. But if you don\’t insist on it every day and occasionally find your child making a foul, nagging and educating will only make things worse. 03. The best protection for children is not to protect them. Parents should control their desire to protect and cultivate their children\’s ability and confidence to handle problems independently. Give your child the opportunity to prove himself and experience life, and I believe he will gain an experience that will be useful throughout his life. For example, when a child falls, parents may wish to \”stand by\” and let the child get up on his own. If the child is crying and refuses to get up, you might as well pull him up, but let him \”dry\” for a while, and then tell the child that he has to rely on himself in everything. 04. Don’t help your children escape responsibility. Responsibility is the rope of a person’s life. Only with a sense of responsibility can a person connect his life with other lives and develop a sense of self-worth. A child who has no sense of responsibility and sense of value will feel confused because he cannot find the status and importance of his life in society. As a result, he will lose the motivation to create achievements and will be prone to other material and frivolous things. Attracted, indulged in it, and lived a mediocre life. Developing a sense of responsibility should start from an early age. For example, if a child forgets to bring his homework to school, he will be criticized by the teacher. The correct approach at this time should be for parents to go to school and explain clearly to the teacher and let the children go home and get their homework. Then tell the child that parents go to school to explain because they love you, but it is your fault for not bringing homework, and you should be punished by the teacher. 05. Don’t satisfy all your children’s demands immediately. Satisfying your children unconditionally will only inflate your child’s sense of self-centeredness. They will only consider themselves in everything and will not take into account the feelings of others. Once children leave their parents and bring this mode of dealing with people to a new environment, they will have difficulty adapting and easily conflict with others, which will bring disadvantages to the child\’s growth. Parents\’ requirements for their children can be graded according to their needs. Like buying toys, eating fried chicken, etc.When making demands, don’t satisfy them immediately, but cultivate your child’s self-control. If the child\’s request is reasonable, don\’t satisfy him immediately and easily. Instead, you should find another way, such as letting the child wash the dishes, sweep the floor, do housework, and get rewards through the child\’s own efforts. This can help children understand that only by giving can they gain something, and that crying, losing temper or being unreasonable will not achieve the goal.