\”Frustration education\” is so important, but 99% of parents do it wrong

\”I want my children to know from an early age that frustration is a blessing in disguise.\” Last Sunday, my friend and I just watched a chicken soup movie. At the end, she said to me in a touching and intoxicating way. Shit! I asked her: \”Then do you know what to do in frustration education?\” \”When a child cries, do you comfort it or wait for it to recover on its own?\” \”When a child encounters difficulties, do you help or not?\” 100% of parents want to Let children learn strength and resilience from setbacks. However, 99% of parents fundamentally misunderstand \”frustration education\”. \”Frustration education\” is the most popular parenting technique among cute mothers. She thought: \”The more setbacks you experience, the stronger your child will be. It is just as reasonable as the more you grind your hands, the more calluses they will have.\” In the end, she succeeded – she succeeded in destroying her child with setbacks. She took the initiative to wean her child, so she could not let her child have smooth sailing; when she was 2 years old, she practiced separate beds to make Mengmeng independent; when she was drawing, she was afraid that Mengmeng would be proud and pointed out a lot of shortcomings. Mengmeng\’s first-class ability to extinguish highs has damaged the child\’s self-confidence and even distorted the child\’s worldview. A childhood with only setbacks and no success will definitely cause serious psychological problems. Come on, it’s time for Maodou Mom to give you some useful information! Our family\’s \”frustration education\” is like this: there are very simple rules to follow, it can be basically done in two steps, and it can be used in daily life. This is: Step 1: Acknowledge the child’s frustration. Step 2: Change the child’s thinking. This is explained in detail below. Please click here to enter an image description. Please click here to enter an image description. I agree with children’s frustration. Many parents like to say: “Stop crying” when their children encounter setbacks. “Isn’t it just a loss of a game of chess? It’s not a big deal.” \”Isn\’t it just a joke from your classmates? It doesn\’t matter.\” When Maodou was one year old, he once tried to wear trousers by himself. I tried for forty minutes without success. I just couldn\’t put my feet into one leg of my pants smoothly. I couldn\’t help but want to laugh when I saw it, but Maodou was so angry that he cried. Adults can say calm and clear words such as \”It\’s nothing\” because they have decades of life experience. In the eyes of parents, minor setbacks are, to children, a denial of their abilities. A child cannot put on pants well, which is a setback. After weaning, you can no longer suck the warmth of your mother\’s milk, which is a setback. If I sleep in separate beds and wake up at night, I will be afraid of the dark and cry for my mother. This is a setback. You can\’t win over other children when you grab toys. This is a setback. If the building blocks cannot be put together the way you want, this is also a setback. For Maodou, frustrated parents say \”It\’s not that serious\”, which will frustrate their children again and make them feel that \”even my frustration is wrong.\” I said in \”My Child was Bullied, but His Behavior Shocked All Parents\”: Whether it is the child\’s interpersonal relationships or emotional intelligence, the most important thing is safety first! Complete! feel! Before giving their children setbacks, parents should first let them know that they are loved and accepted; at the same time, they are very special and deeply appreciated in the eyes of their parents, instead of rushing to deny them \”What\’s the big deal?\” Frustration education The first step is to respect and empathize with the child\’s mood. Are you doing it right? Changing children’s thinking. Old fans who have read Maodou’s mother’s articles all know that Maodou is a lucky person.Children with poor mobility. The riding skills that others can learn in just two steps require him to learn them many times. But he has the sensitive self-esteem of a young child. When he sees children of the same age riding faster than him, he must catch up and get first place. The ending is predictable: many times he returns defeated, pouting angrily: I can’t catch up! I first gave him a hug and said, \”Well, it\’s really hard for you. I understand.\” Then, I taught Maodou to change his way of thinking and only look at how far he has improved compared to the past, instead of blindly comparing himself to others. I said to Maodou: How many times have you fallen before, but today you have not fallen once, and you are still just one step behind that child. Isn’t it very happy that you have made such obvious progress? Maodou burst into tears and laughed. I struck while the iron was hot and said: \”Your body posture was much straighter when riding today, which may be the reason for your progress. Next time you can use this riding technique and use your legs like this…\” Let the children put their thoughts into Only by solving the problem can you avoid failure next time! When my tutor\’s child went to junior high school, he was rejected by other children. The child is depressed all day long. The tutor took his son to study, analyzed the reasons why he was rejected by his classmates, and tried to discuss the characteristics of the popular classmates in the class, so that the child could internalize the new interpersonal knowledge into his own abilities. Since then, the child has never had similar setbacks. Every setback of a child may be a blessing in disguise, or it may be a devil in disguise. It just depends on how your parents teach you. The prefrontal lobe of the brain, which controls the emotional part, does not mature until the 20s. Therefore, children\’s ability to withstand stress is weaker than that of adults. After suffering setbacks, they must be encouraged and taught by adults to avoid the problem of low self-evaluation. Just having setbacks without the experience of overcoming them will definitely destroy your child! If you don\’t teach him how to get up, any so-called frustration education will be stupid. At the end, let me repeat my two-step method, which most mothers can directly learn from. The first step is to recognize the child\’s frustration and emotionally support the child. The second step is to change the child\’s way of thinking and teach them how to overcome setbacks. Of course, we must avoid stupid behaviors such as \”taking the initiative to seek setbacks for our children\”!