How terrible is it for a mother who has lost herself?

For several days, my colleague F told me about a mother and son she saw on the bus on her way to and from get off work. The mother must be less than thirty years old, and the child looks four or five years old and is in kindergarten. They first attracted F\’s attention because of the woman\’s loud voice. That morning, F was listening to music with headphones on in his seat, closing his eyes and relaxing. Suddenly he was startled by a shrill female voice. Looking around, the woman was stuffing a small bun into her son\’s mouth, shouting loudly: \”Are you going to eat it or not? Are you going to eat it? I have prepared so much for you. If you don\’t eat this or that, what are you going to do?\” What to eat? I am so blessed that I don’t know how blessed I am! I get up so early every day to see you off and pick you up at night. Almost all my time is spent on you. You are still so disobedient. I am really angry… \”The woman kept shouting, but the child remained silent and refused to eat. F found that the bag the woman was carrying was filled with all kinds of food and drink, including several types of milk. Sitting next to them happened to be a mother and her son. The child was a little older and looked like he had just entered elementary school. The mother kindly reminded the woman: \”The breakfast you prepared is really rich, but is it because there is so much that the child doesn\’t know what to eat? In fact, the child is small and cannot eat much, so just bring less.\” Others had good intentions, but the woman choked them back: \”What\’s too much? The child is growing, how can we not prepare more? He is just picky and disobedient!\” Others wanted to say something, but finally swallowed it and turned around He touched his son\’s head tenderly. And her son was holding a piece of bread in one hand and a bottle of yogurt in the other, eating and drinking with relish. Facing my mother\’s gentle smile, I also responded with a cute smile. The woman poked the child on the forehead and yelled a few more words, but the child still gritted his teeth and refused to eat, with tears in his eyes. The woman suddenly changed to the completely opposite attitude, her tone was gentle, and she even said in a begging tone: \”Be good, be obedient, and eat it! You have to be sensible. Do you know? Mom can\’t go to class because of you. She\’s surrounded all day long. I\’m going around this house all because of you!\” The child didn\’t buy it and still refused to eat. Instead, he hid back in panic. Maybe it was his mother\’s words \”I\’m doing it all for you\” that made him feel the pressure, or maybe it was his mother\’s ice-and-fire attitude that made him at a loss what to do. F said: \”At that moment, I suddenly felt that the child was so pitiful, and his mother was so pitiful.\” Yes, a mother who revolves around the family\’s children, loses herself, feels sorry for herself, and is moody; a mother who is used as a punching bag and is anxious All the children cannot enjoy the happiness and warmth that a family should have. They are all so pitiful! A few days later, on her way back from get off work, F met the mother and son again, sitting in front of her. At first, nothing happened. The child sat quietly on the seat, and the woman looked out the window with empty eyes. Suddenly, the woman touched her pocket and yelled: \”It\’s over, my phone is missing!\” Everyone in the car was startled. People sitting next to her gave her ideas and asked her to look for it. Some people were willing to borrow it. Call her her number on her cell phone. The woman couldn\’t listen to what others said and just kept blaming the child: \”It\’s all your fault! If you hadn\’t justWe just wanted to see the toys, and we wouldn’t have entered that store. If we hadn’t entered that store, I wouldn’t have thrown away my phone. I remembered to put it on the counter. You child, you are so annoying. I must have owed you something in my previous life, and I deserve to pay you back in this life. There will never be a good time…\” The woman kept chanting, nagging, and was emotional and disgusting. Child I was so frightened that I kept crying. An old man next to me probably couldn\’t stand it anymore and deliberately said to him: \”Your son is really good. If you look carefully in the bag, you might find it. The woman didn\’t appreciate it and continued to chatter like Mrs. Xianglin: \”Why are you so good?\” They are just here to collect debts, leaving me with no freedom at all…\” She complained and kept pulling her hair and clothes. She looked very manic. The child was crying and shaking, frightened and aggrieved. F couldn\’t bear it anymore. , said: \”Sister, can\’t you just calm down for a while? See how you scared the child? It really has nothing to do with the child that you lost your phone. It was just because you were careless, right? You always say that you can\’t do anything for your children, but your children are in kindergarten during the day, so you can definitely do what you want. \”I\’m not allowed to do housework when he\’s not at home?\” I have to think of ways to prepare delicious food for them, right? How can I take care of their food, clothing, housing and transportation? All day long, all I can think about is how to take good care of them and how to raise the children well…\” \”Have you never thought about doing something for yourself? \”\”for myself? Do I get my turn? I am too busy worrying about my children. Besides, as long as I raise my children well, my merits will be complete. Sister, it looks like you don’t have children yet, right? Even if you tell me, you don’t understand. As a woman, once you have a child, how can you still have yourself? Everything is for the sake of the children…\” F said, it\’s really terrifying to have such an inexperienced woman who thinks she is full of resentment and energy! As a bystander, she can\’t stand it. It\’s unimaginable to live with her all day long. How uncomfortable it must be for children and husband to be together! A woman who gives up on herself, a woman who does not know how to love herself, cannot truly love her family, because she does not understand what love is at all. In her mind There is only one thing: I have dedicated everything to my children and this family, and you should be grateful. But what will happen in reality? Because she gave up on self-improvement and became incompatible with her surroundings. Her depression caused her to lose control of her emotions and have a bad temper. This then caused her family to avoid her. No one in such a family would feel happy. There are many stay-at-home mothers who, while taking good care of their families, live their lives into poetry and songs. They raise flowers and paint. They write essays and play the piano, they run and exercise, sing and dance, they work in the kitchen and in the hall. They truly combine firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, tea, music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry and wine. To love your family, start by loving yourself. Strive to improve yourself, Making yourself better and better is the magic weapon to make your family and yourself happy.