The hospital does not lack a nurse, but the child lacks a mother

A friend of mine is a nurse in a large hospital. Her child is about to be one year old and she has to work night shift. He said that if there was no one to take care of the child, he would either send it back to his hometown or hire a nanny. But neither was desired. I want to resign and ask me for any advice. I said, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a nurse who gave birth to a child in her late thirties. I am very happy to have a child late in life, but also very worried at the same time. I want to take care of the children by myself, but finances don’t allow it. I want to go to work, but there is no one to take care of my children. How to do it? I asked my family for their opinions and they all agreed that I couldn\’t resign. Aren’t many people coming here like this? Think about it, neither mother nor child can be so pretentious. Her life basically consists of working during the day and sleeping at night, and working at night and sleeping during the day. When I have a meeting to study for professional title exams, I don’t even care about my children at all. Sometimes the children spend time at their own home, sometimes at grandma\’s house, and sometimes at grandma\’s house. Just like that, three years passed. When the child entered kindergarten, she found that the child had many problems, such as being unable to get along well with children, having to feed him even after he was five years old, and having poor expressive skills. Faced with these \”old habits\”, sometimes she was not only so helpless that she wanted to cry, but she even felt so regretful that she wanted to die. Yes, many of the child\’s problems are strong evidence that the mother has failed to fulfill her responsibilities. Children\’s bad behavioral habits are mirror images of their parents, especially before the age of three when they have a strong ability to imitate, and during the critical period for developing behavioral habits – between the ages of three and six. Unfortunately, she didn\’t understand this at the time. The powerful voices around her told her that it would be fine if the child grew up. Out of maternal instinct, she realized that she spent too little time with her children. She wanted to change jobs many times, or quit her job directly, but inertia kept her on the gear of time, running at high speed. Until one time, the principal of the kindergarten said that your child really needs too much care and guidance. At this time, the department where she worked was experiencing internal and external troubles, and colleagues were being tortured and resigned one after another. When she was overwhelmed, she finally made up her mind to resign, this time without consulting anyone. After resigning, she devoted herself to spending time with her children. In order to better understand her children, and even better to understand herself, she studied psychology. Just scratching the surface, she discovered that she had made a fatal mistake—that is, she spent too little time with her child in the first three years. She is an unfit mother. For this reason, she regretted it so much that she wished she could send the child back to the womb and give birth again. Unfortunately, life only sells one-way tickets. Relatives and friends around me cannot understand how wonderful it is to be a nurse. The jobs in big hospitals are stable and the income is good. You\’ve done a good job and just quit as you say, that\’s too willful! Children, trees are naturally straight. All she could do was hehehehehe. She recalled volunteering at a disability center. That time, the Disability Center organized a spring outing for the children to the park. Because of the special nature of the object, a group of volunteers were recruited. Every two people are responsible for taking care of one child. She and her classmates were responsible for taking care of a three-year-old boy. The little boy was fair and fair, very cute and quiet. He didn\’t say a word in the car. No answer even when asked. She thought the child couldn\’t speak and asked the staff about the situation. The staff said that he doesn\’t know you, so he won\’t talk to you. Then he called the little boy by his nickname, and the little boy used a mosquito-likeThe voice agreed, then fell silent again. She asked the staff if it was possible that the child had autism. The staff said that this child was completely the result of improper upbringing. The child\’s father is a doctor and his mother is a nurse. The child was brought back to his hometown by his grandmother when he was less than one year old. Grandma talks very little and doesn’t know how to communicate with her children. Children are accompanied by iPads all day long. Before, I just thought the child was well-behaved and didn\’t pay much attention to it. It was only when I went to kindergarten that I discovered that my child could not communicate with others at all. That\’s why they were sent here for training. Looking at the innocent eyes of the child, I really feel uncomfortable in my heart. Just like the warm sunshine of spring is clothed in gloomy clothes, which cannot be taken off or washed away. At this point, some readers may say, there are so many doctors and nurses, why don’t other people’s children look like that? I tell you, every child is different, do you believe it? The same grandma raises children. Can the children raised by a grandma with a gentle temper, rational and intelligent temperament and a grandma with a bad temper and withdrawn personality be the same? Can children who are the same, quiet and sensitive and naughty and mischievous be raised in the same way? People who have watched \”Ode to Joy\” should be deeply impressed by Fan Shengmei\’s nephew, right? What kind of child is that? Is it the child\’s problem? Certainly not. I\’m not blaming grandma here. Taking care of children is originally the responsibility of parents. If grandma can take care of children for you, she has done her utmost kindness. Because even children raised by parents themselves may have problems. The difference is that children who have sufficient company from their parents will have a sense of psychological security that cannot be given by intergenerational care. It is human nature for a grandma to pamper and pamper her children even after being separated from each other for generations. The problem is that once there is a \”mess\” in education, parents still have to clean it up themselves. And I have no right to blame anyone. Some of the children in the disability center are born with diseases, and some, like the little boy, are completely the result of improper upbringing. She seemed to suddenly understand that the so-called \”it will be fine when the children grow up\” is just an excuse for irresponsible parents. I am afraid that some children will be devastated by lack of water and fat before they grow up. She also finally understood that the time her child missed while growing up was missed forever. I wish I had missed the past and not missed the present. After get off work, she could finally tell stories with her children. After school, the child can tell her about school matters. On weekends, I can go hiking with my children. She felt that this was the best decision she had ever made. A little late though. …The story is over. That nurse is me. The hospital does not lack a nurse, but the children lack a mother. There is no right or wrong, only choices.