If you don’t listen even if you tell me a hundred times, then don’t say it anymore.

I was getting ready to go to bed last night when I received a call from my friend L. On the other end of the phone, L excitedly accused her baby Pengpeng of various \”crimes\”: she told him that eating more vegetables would be good for health, but she refused to listen; she told him that watching TV all the time was bad for the eyes, but she refused to listen. Don\’t listen; tell him that the toys are messy and ask him to clean them up, but he won\’t listen no matter what he says… all kinds of things, all in one go. At the end, it all came together in one sentence: This child is already 3 years old, but why is he still so ignorant? He refuses to listen even after being told a hundred times! \”Finished?\” Finally, L took a breath. \”You finally gave me a chance to interrupt. How about you listen to what I have to say?\” I told her that I actually felt that this matter was not worth being so angry about. Children often don\’t buy your sincere words, and it\’s even harder to achieve results if you go head-on. So we have the feeling of \”you won\’t listen no matter what I say, you won\’t listen even if I say it a hundred times, and you will be so angry that you still won\’t listen.\” It\’s better not to talk about it. Of course, \”stop talking\” does not mean \”don\’t care\”. But since it\’s useless to talk more, let\’s take a roundabout way and use a more clever way to deal with the problem. For example, if Pengpeng doesn\’t like to eat vegetables, then try to cook the vegetables in a variety of flavors, or put the vegetables and other ingredients into shapes that children like to attract his interest; for example, you don\’t want Pengpeng to eat uncontrollably. Watch TV. In the immediate term, you can use other games to attract his attention. In the long run, you must get used to making agreements with him. At the same time, the adults in the family should set a good example and watch less TV in front of Pengpeng. This is also very important. Important; for example, if you want Pengpeng to clean up the messy toys, you can tell him that this is a game. Mom and him will compete with each other to see who can clean up faster, or you can put the toys in a fixed place and let the toys \”go home\” one by one. \”Slowly he will find this game very interesting. The reason why this is so is simple. What parents teach their children will never have as much impact on their children as what they do. After sharing her experience with L, she exclaimed, \”Ah, is this all based on experience?\” Did you ever have this kind of \”refuse to change despite repeated admonitions\” situation when you were a kid? certainly. No child is perfect. Many of the problems that seem troublesome to us are actually a necessary process for children, and they are not “making trouble” or “disobedient” as we think. For a while, Liuliu would take advantage of us not paying attention, move a small stool and stand on it to turn on the faucet, flick it with his hands a few times, then turn around and leave regardless of the gurgling water. By the time we found out, it was already flowing in vain. How many. I asked her why she wasted so much water? She said she just wanted to play in the water, but found it boring after turning it on, and often forgot to turn it off and left. After that, I repeatedly reasoned that waste is sinful and wasteful is shameful. But she seemed to agree well, and soon she started secretly turning on the faucet again. Later, I thought, after saying it so many times, it didn’t work, so I might as well try it in a different way, maybe there would be a difference. It happened to be summer at that time. On the premise of ensuring that the weather and temperature would not make her sick, I took a bucket of water, brought a few toys, held Liuliu\’s hand, and went to the yard to play with her in the water. Of course, this is much more fun than turning on the faucet at home. When Liuliu started to play, he pointed to the water stains on the ground and said to me, Mom, look, this one looks like a little white rabbit, and that one looks like a lollipop! I made up stories and names with her, and also told her in the playful process that the faucet at home is not a good place to play with water. There are not so many interesting patterns to see, and at the same time, waste is wrong. I don’t know whether she listened to my words in this pleasant atmosphere, or she felt that playing with the faucet was boring after comparison. Since then, the act of secretly turning on the faucet has never happened again in our house. Tough words about what to do and what not to do, or plain and boring reasoning are not as effective as proper guidance. Understand the psychology of children, know what they want, and then use their preferred method to approach the goal with them, which is more effective than saying a hundred words. As parents, we sometimes nag them all day long, not letting them do this or that. Sometimes we are afraid that our children will be in danger. But the child just doesn\’t listen. He insists on touching the power strip. He insists on pouring water when he can\’t hold the water cup. He insists on touching the radiator when it\’s hot. Well, the time has come for parents to be tested. When storing dangerous items, do not place hot water where children can easily reach it. All power strips, etc. must be plugged into safety covers. For things like radiators that cannot be wrapped, choose a place that is not so hot and let her try it. Next time, she will know how powerful it is. Children have instinctive protection. Of course, a parent must be watching over you at this time, just to let him feel the temperature to ensure that no harm is caused to the baby. Young children are sometimes unaware of dangers. Therefore, in many cases, instead of carefully guiding children to stay away from dangers, it is better to eliminate many potential safety hazards first. Think about it from another angle. When we were teenagers, we didn’t like parents talking about one thing incessantly. Now as parents, we often talk about one thing to our children a hundred times and complain that they don’t understand. listen. How can this kind of logic be reasonable? In fact, if you think about it carefully, \”not listening no matter what you say\” is a very normal reaction for children. Young children either cannot fully understand the meaning of the principles we repeatedly emphasize, or they understand but find it difficult to remember them all the time. When they come back in a circle, they forget all the principles, and we have to repeat them again, and then they understand again. repeatedly. Older children understand and remember it, but they develop a rebellious mentality when told over and over again. The more they are told to do something, the less they do it, even if they know it is right; the more they are told to do something, the less they do it. He became more rebellious under pressure and nagging. At the end of the phone call, L said happily, I understand, it is definitely not a smart choice to change the child\’s bad habits by saying a hundred words and a thousand words! Stop talking and guide, that’s the real truth! Yes, if you don’t listen even if you say it a hundred times, then don’t say it. Let’s explore and try more models and methods of getting along happily with your children.