Baby, they\’re not all good people

A few days ago, I took my classmate Zhe to play in the Temple of Heaven Park. He was riding a balance bike on the road. A boy who was a head and a half taller than him stood directly in front of him: \”Let me play for a while?!\” He looked at his elder brother lying in front of him. , Student Zhe was stunned for a moment and didn’t know how to answer. He was having a great time and was definitely not willing to give it to others. He thought for a while and asked: \”Brother, how old are you?\” When he saw that he was not lent his car, the little boy was a little angry and said angrily: \”It\’s none of your business. What happened? Why should I tell you? Be careful not to bump into me, otherwise you will look good!\” After that, he walked away. I didn\’t expect that the words of a child who looked only seven or eight years old would be full of violent threats. From beginning to end, the grandfather who was with him said not a word. When the child turned to leave, the old man responded appropriately: \”What\’s so rare about a broken car? You\’re so stingy! Come on, let\’s go over there and play with the fitness equipment.\” !\” Classmate Zhe looked at his father and then at me, his eyes full of grievances. I knelt down, hugged him, and comforted him: \”It\’s okay, mom and dad are here, let\’s continue playing.\” He didn\’t move, and asked: \”Mom, is that big brother right? Is he rude? \”He\’s wrong and rude. If Zhe Zhe wants to lend him the car, he can. If he doesn\’t want to, you have the right to decide.\” I explained. After returning home and waiting for him to fall asleep, Zhe\’s father and I talked about this matter. We both basically had the same view: children must eventually learn to face the \”malice\” in the world calmly. Although as parents, we both hope that this world Be gentle with your children. Once, I was partnered with a sweet-looking girl. At first, I thought it was good that she was quick-tongued and spoke openly about everything. The deeper the relationship, the more I feel that she has too much negative energy. She will complain for a long time about trivial matters that are insignificant in the eyes of others. It can be as small as someone pushing her while taking the subway, or not slowing down when a private car passed by her while waiting for the bus, or as big as her failing to pass the topic she submitted when someone else did, and she was always impatient when her boss spoke to her. \”…I went from constant comfort to deliberate avoidance in just two months. It wasn\’t until her mother came to visit her from her hometown that I understood why she felt seriously hurt by so many insignificant details – we went to a restaurant together, because it was an affordable restaurant and during the lunch rush hour, the waiters were a little… too busy. Her mother asked twice for boiled water, but when the waiter brought the kettle, she accidentally put it on the next table. Her mother immediately became anxious, and the waiter continued to apologize but failed to calm her down. When the waiter left, she turned around and said, \”These people are just looking down on others and bullying us foreigners! Just be tough on them and be honest.\” We went to the scenic spot together, and someone else bought an annual pass to get in, but her mother didn\’t see it. , thinking that he had lost money by buying tickets, and accused the staff of \”unfair treatment\”. Regardless of whether she was really unfair, her mother\’s first reaction was always \”Someone else hurt me.\” No wonder my colleagues’ first reaction when encountering something is not to think first, but to instinctively think, “The whole world is targeting me, and the whole world is sorry for me.” This vicious cycle puts colleagues into a \”vicious circle of over-emphasis on self-feeling.\” Many times, leaders behave inappropriately towards things rather than towards people., was also interpreted by her as \”intentional harm\”, and she almost lost the ability to self-reflect and grow. Letting children be treated well by others anytime and anywhere is an impossible luxury dream. Because the baby is just our baby, in the eyes of others, he/she is just a stranger who has nothing to do with us. When children are young, their parents can be their armor and protect them from harm; when children grow up and go to kindergarten, elementary school, or junior high school, they may encounter various harms, such as being isolated, being bullied, and being bullied. laugh at. At this time, children\’s strong psychology will protect them from harm. Of course, letting children learn to face harm from the outside world calmly does not mean letting them give in blindly, but slowly letting them know which things are worth spending energy to care about, and which things can be left behind lightly. Because when children are hurt, we blame them indiscriminately, which will make the children immersed in unhappiness, and may also cause them to develop a \”weak mentality that everyone is targeting me no matter what\”; and guiding them to self-exculpate and ignore it will It helps children improve their adverse quotient and makes them mentally stronger.