When I stopped losing my temper with my kids…

I often hear a mother downstairs scolding her child, yelling fiercely: \”I\’ve told you so many times, why can\’t you remember!\” \”Hurry up! You are always like this, I don\’t want you anymore. !\” Sometimes the scolding continued for several minutes, occasionally mixed with the sound of throwing things. At this time, your mind will instantly appear with the angry mother, grinning, and the silent child. What makes mothers sad is that they finally calmed down and did not apologize after losing their temper. Instead, I heard the child say: Mom, I forgive you. I know you scolded me because you were in a bad mood and I made a mistake. Children are always kind and selectively forget those bad things. This is truly a superpower given to them by their Creator. But as parents, can we control our temper? I remember once, I went to a small shop to buy soy sauce. I happened to meet the boss\’s wife teaching her son a lesson there. A 5-year-old boy is very naughty, so he can often hear his mother yelling and scolding upstairs. This is the first close contact. I never thought that a woman who is usually polite to us would be so terrible when she loses her temper. I felt like the shelves were shaking. I quickly grabbed a bottle of soy sauce and left. At this time, the little guy sat on the ground, and the lady boss couldn\’t come over to collect the money. I told her: \”Don\’t get too angry and make yourself angry.\” \”You don\’t know! He causes me trouble every day. Today he threw a stone into the rice cooker at home, saying that he was going to boil it. Stone soup.\” The kid really has some ideas. But his mother didn\’t think so. He felt it was unacceptable, so he counted out the past events one by one. The child just sat on the floor and acted recklessly. \”I don\’t know how I can control him if I don\’t get angry.\” Then she went to get a stick. At this time, the little boy stood up and begged for mercy: \”Mom, I was wrong, don\’t hit me!\” At this time, the angry mother turned off the engine. Perhaps waiting for the next emotional storm to come. It\’s just that days like this can be really tiring. Educating children by throwing tantrums is the most ineffective way of educating them. Because when you yell, your children will automatically block your anger. Just like when a storm comes, we all involuntarily close the windows. Because the child\’s mind will activate the protection program. Moreover, many times, the problem is not with the child. It\’s you who has the problem. Take the child in the small shop who is often scolded by his mother. Because my mother maintains the small shop business alone. There are also countless housework to do. When the child makes a fuss, she gets angry. I find myself doing the same. Especially if you haven\’t slept well. I feel like my temper can get out of control easily. Talking to many parents, this is the case. I was in a bad mood due to the annoying work at the company. When I came home, I saw my child making a mess at home, and I accidentally vented all my anger on the little child. Another time, a mother said she regretted it very much. Because I lost my temper with my 5-month-old baby and yelled at him loudly. Because she was raising her children alone, she felt depressed for a long time and once broke down. face loudIf the child cries, she will yell at the child. The baby stayed there for a few seconds and then cried louder. At this time, the baby also cried, and so did the mother. She felt that she could survive some hardships. I am really afraid that my temper will get out of control and cause psychological harm to my children. Many times, it is not the child\’s problem, but the parents\’ emotional problems. If you made up your mind to never yell at your children again, how would your life turn around? In fact, if you control your emotions, your life will really be different. Not only between parents and children, but also between husband and wife, and between colleagues and friends. Failure to control your emotions will eventually hurt each other\’s feelings. Teaching children to manage their emotions as early as possible is of great benefit to their growth. A few days ago, my son went to play at his cousin\’s house. When he goes out, I always tell him: \”Be careful outside and don\’t run around.\” \”Okay!\” \”Don\’t fight with your sister. Don\’t hit anyone when you\’re angry.\” \”I don\’t hit anyone. When I\’m angry, I just take a deep breath.\” \”That\’s awesome, just do it!\” But my son\’s answer still made me a little bit be surprised. Although he still couldn\’t control it when he was angry, at least he knew what to do. And what I need is patience. Accompany him and slowly learn to control his emotions. And his answer should come from \”Jerry\’s Calm Space\” I told him. Because I told him at that time what to do when you are angry. Having mentioned this method, let yourself calm down first. Unexpectedly, he actually remembered it. In the book, the little boy Jerry lost his temper when he got home because he fell and broke the clay bowl he made for his father\’s birthday. Under the guidance of his mother, he established his own \”calm space\” and learned how to control his temper. In fact, this book is not just a picture book for children, it is also suitable for adults. I\’ve tried the deep breathing method, and it really works. In fact, everyone needs a calm space. In life, when we are getting along with colleagues, even in traffic jams on the road, or arguing with relatives, when our emotions arise, we must really control them. Because emotional outbursts are often the source of trouble. On the road to emotional management, parents must set a good example for their children. In fact, children observe their parents’ behaviors and expressions every day. Especially during infancy and early childhood, children use their mother\’s expressions as emotional signals. If the mother\’s expression is angry, the child will also be angry. If the mother is smiling, the child will happily play with himself. There is a \”social reference\” theory of emotion in psychology: it is believed that in uncertain situations, children will search for emotional information from their mothers (or other familiar people), and then take actions to approach or avoid it. Therefore, we often say that children are a mirror of their parents. It reflects the parents’ own problems and also imprints their own image on their children. We will find a situation like this: children who grow up in fear are often worried; children who grow up in criticism often act like little adults to embarrass other children; and children who grow up in families where parents often lose their temper Children will also have a very bad temper. When I stopped losing my temper with my kids. In fact, there are many ways to help us discipline our children. for exampleEffective rules, children\’s self-discipline, and the development of good habits. Working hard to educate yourself is far more meaningful than losing your temper. Years later, when my children grow up and leave home, they will think of you. Do you want your child to have a resentful mother who loses her temper, or a gentle mother? I don\’t think anyone wants to be that person who loses his temper.