Shock! How you speak to your children can predict their future

Is there an education method that can be used to predict a child\’s future success, or even wealth? It turns out that I don’t think there is such a thing. If there is, OMG, isn’t this just fortune telling? However, the pedantic Maodou Mom collected educational materials at home these two days and discovered many valuable conclusions. Most likely, it does. This is: the way parents talk to their children. The old rules, the conclusion first: * The richer the family, the more times they have to have conversations with their children. The poorer the family, the dialogue will end in one or two rounds. * The richer/educated the family is, the more they encourage their children to ask questions; the poorer/low-educated families are, the more they like to teach their children to \”execute\”. * An environment with extreme language deficiency may even hinder children\’s intellectual development and damage their brains. The richer the family, the more round-trip conversations there are. A scholar named F Bibayan studied 460 wealthy families, middle class and blue-collar workers in the United States, and concluded that: taking the number of round-trip conversations between parents and children as an indicator, There is a huge gap between the upper class and the working class. For every conversation between parents and children, the number of round-trips for the upper class is 5-6 times, while that for the working class is only 1-2 times. What does it mean? When a child asks a question or expresses an opinion to his or her parents, the working-class parents simply nod or hum absently, and the conversation ends abruptly. Families in the upper class will continue this conversation for five or six rounds and as many rounds as possible, thereby improving their children\’s IQ in terms of hardware and stimulating their curiosity in terms of software. Let me give you a chestnut. Although Mao Dou’s mother is a scumbag in science and engineering, she has heard of a physics genius in the United States named Feynman. How talented is he? He can kill Sheldon from \”The Big Bang Theory\” instantly. This guy was so smart that he even participated in the U.S. atomic bomb project in 1945 and won the Nobel Prize in 1965. △This guy is Feynman. I searched a lot of information about Feynman’s childhood and found out that Feynman’s father educated his son like this: Feynman’s father took his son to read the dinosaur chapter in the Encyclopedia. Feynman asked: Dad, what the hell is a Tyrannosaurus? Feynman\’s dad: Tyrannosaurus, it\’s a guy that\’s 25 feet tall and has a head that\’s 6 feet wide. Do you know how big 25 feet is? Feynman: I don’t know, how big is it? Feynman Dad: Meaning, if a Tyrannosaurus rex stood in our front yard, it would be big enough to stick its head through a second-story bedroom window. Feynman: Wow! A rowing star! Feynman’s dad: Do you know how big 6 feet is? Feynman: Bigger than my flying saucer? Feynman’s dad: It’s wider than our window glass. If it forced its head in, the window frame would be squeezed. Feynman: That tyrannosaurus would overwhelm the zoo! Feynman\’s Dad: You won\’t see Tyrannosaurus in the zoo anymore because it disappeared 65 million years ago. Do you know what happened? Feynman: What? Tell me quickly! A total of 5 times, Feynman\’s father successfully aroused the child\’s curiosity, questioning spirit and imagination. Each conversation was in-depth and guided Feynman to a deeper level of knowledge exploration. Feynman was just a representative. In every upper-class family, conversations go back and forthThe number of students is their secret to building educational class barriers, and it is also a powerful tool to separate children from other classes. So how do working-class families talk to their children? Child: Mom, look at this little bird. It’s so beautiful. Mom: (Looking up from the phone and looking at it casually): Well, it’s so beautiful. Child: Mom, what’s the name of this little bird? Mom: My name is Dujuan. Child: Mom, where is Du Juan’s home? Mom: Are you finished? I\’m tired enough. Can you let me rest for a while? Child: …(Shut up wisely) Every conversation basically starts with the child’s curious questions and ends with the parents’ hasty response. With each conversation, a turn is over. In this way, the child\’s questioning spirit dies in the bud. So, you know what to do? Encourage your child\’s curiosity and guide him to ask more questions. It is best to have a dialogue battle of 300 rounds. Only when he knows the mysteries of the world to his satisfaction will you have fulfilled your parental responsibility. The children of the rich focus on inspiration, while the children of the poor have acquired execution skills. Many mothers are always asking: How to make their children obedient? How to raise children with ease? I won’t answer this question directly, but let me tell you something first. It was 2013, and I was expecting to give birth in Los Angeles, USA. My driving skills are very bad, and Maodou’s dad doesn’t dare to let me drive by myself. In the United States, without a car, I have no legs. I can\’t go anywhere. I can only walk to the community library at the foot of the mountain with a big belly every day, read picture books, and see the children. As time went by, I got to know many children. The Walnut district where I live is very wealthy, but the West Covina district next to it is relatively poor, and the housing prices can be several times different. Walnut has a community library, and children from west covina also come here to read. The landlord said to me: I can tell the wealth or poverty of the child\’s family from the way of conversation, but I still don\’t believe it. I heard this conversation that day. A little boy asked: Who created us? (Who created us?) Another child from west covina said: God created us. (God created us) Another little girl immediately asked: Who created God, then ? (So, who created God?) I was very surprised that such a young girl, no more than three or four years old, had the courage to question the ready-made answers and ask counter-questions. After I went back and asked the landlord, the landlord laughed generously and said: \”The children in this area are like this from tutoring to kindergarten. They are taught independent thinking ability from an early age. They can ask questions without asking their parents.\” We will never give up.\” I checked some American sociological information and came to the conclusion that in short: the wealthy/intelligent class encourages questions, questioning and reflection, while the working class hopes that their children will accept ready-made answers. , and also hope that they will be obedient, because it will save them trouble to manage. You know, if your children listen to you without questioning, they will obediently listen to others in the future, because the most precious spirit of questioning has not been cultivated. Therefore, let me put the conclusion more straightforwardly: rich people encourage their children to challengeCurrent authority, while poor people encourage their children to enforce it. So, the rich create jobs and the poor work for others. Shocked? Let me give you another example. Maodou\’s dad\’s work is related to technology investment. He sometimes goes to Silicon Valley for business trips. He has many excellent colleagues, including many Israelis. Jewish education is very good, but the Israeli children made a very bad impression on Maodou Dad at first: those children had no rules at all outside, making loud noises, and often running and shouting. But then his colleague told him something and let him know where his educational talents were. In short: Israel pursues a \”Havruta\” education method. This word means \”companion\”. Its original meaning is to teach children the Bible in Hebrew (what the hell is this)? That is: debate more, question more, and find evidence to support your ideas. The Israeli colleague has two sons. The eldest is eight years old and the second is two years old. They sleep in the same room. The parents said to the eldest son: \”I hope you can go to bed early and don\’t read until late, otherwise it will affect your younger brother\’s sleep, and you will not sleep well.\” After arguing with the parents for several rounds, the eight-year-old eldest child thought about it and said : \”My brother and I are different. I don\’t need so much sleep. I have an idea. Every night I will sleep with my brother first. When he falls asleep, I will go to your room to read for half an hour and then return at 10:30. Go back to your room and sleep. This way everyone will be satisfied.\” His parents were very proud to tell us this example, and I just knelt down and listened to the story. When Maodou is 8 years old, it will be good to have half the problem-solving abilities of this child. Every time Maodou asked \”I have an idea,\” I used the excuse that I was busy and did not support his doubts or even listen attentively. Maodou Dad and I are already relatively liberal parents, but we are still slapped in the face by such excellent educational concepts. Israel is a small country, but its per capita GDP is about the same as that of the UK. Israel is a very hard-working country, but it is full of talented people: Facebook founder Zuckerberg, Einstein, and Kafka. This must have something to do with the way they encourage questioning, questioning, and dialogue between parents and children. The Israeli colleague said to us Chinese parents: The Chinese father plays with his mobile phone when he comes home, while the Jewish father chats with his children when he comes home. The first thing Israeli children question is their parents. They often argue with their parents about their parents\’ decisions, find errors in their parents\’ thinking or logic, and propose what they think is the best way to handle the situation. Later, on the day we flew back to China, on the way to the airport, I saw this sentence beside a suburb in the United States: \”Today, a hundred years from now, it won\’t matter what car you drive, what house you live in, or how much money you earn.\” It doesn\’t matter. What matters is how you raise your children.\” I felt very shocked at the time. A few years later, after experiencing more things, this sentence became clearer in my mind. I think it is right to say this: \”After eighteen years, when the children grow up, those parenting details become irrelevant, and the relevant What matters is how you are talking to your child!\” Because this may really imply that your child will have problems in the future.What kind of personality and achievements? Remember, the wealthier the family, the more conversations they have with their children! The richer the family, the more children are encouraged to ask questions!