5 Principles of Discipline to Avoid the Danger of Anger

Late one day, I suddenly received a call from a friend to complain and confess. It turned out that she had not been able to sleep well for several days in order to take care of her little daughter who was resting at home due to illness. In addition, her husband happened to be abroad and there was no helper. She was really exhausted both physically and mentally. That night, I finally put my little daughter to bed. When I was helping my eldest son sign the home-school contact book, I was surprised to find that the teacher had written a whole page in red pen on the home-school contact book, saying that many of the questions in the weekly math test for my eldest son were because the numbers were scrawled. The wrong numbers were copied when transcribing the answers. Parents are asked to carefully check their children\’s homework and correct all the scrawled numbers. She angrily scolded her eldest son: \”How many times have I told you that numbers should be written clearly and neatly. Look at this 0, written casually, how is it different from 6? Why can\’t you ask yourself for such a simple thing! \”Just as she was getting more and more scolding, the sound of a glass falling and breaking suddenly came from the kitchen. Furious, she hit her youngest son hard as soon as she walked into the kitchen: \”What on earth are you doing? You are drinking milk so late. You are so clumsy that you can\’t even pour milk!\” She only heard her youngest son say: She said timidly: \”I see you are very tired, and I wanted to pour you a glass of milk, but I tripped over the trash can…\” She couldn\’t help but send her two sons to bed in a hurry, and she blamed herself afterwards. Incessantly. If you think about it carefully, the two sons are actually very considerate, and the mistakes they made do not require such harsh treatment. Frustrated and with nowhere to turn, she dialed my number. 5 Steps to Avoid Losing Emotions Losing control is the most difficult subject in emotional management, and it often leads to regretful consequences. Emotional out-of-control situations usually begin with anger, so it is one of the important rules for parents to avoid scolding their children in anger. However, in daily life, especially for parents with young children, life will inevitably involve high-stress situations where the candle is burned at both ends. When falling into an emotional and angry situation, how to rein in the situation to avoid losing control is indeed an important issue. Here are several principles and methods for your reference: Step 1: Pay attention to your body’s warning signs. When the body is tired and tense, or negative emotions have been accumulated for a period of time, as long as there is another emotional event, whether it is sadness, anxiety or anger, it will be stronger than usual, and it is easy to cause emotional control. If you can detect fatigue and emotions in time before they reach your endurance limit, you can avoid an out-of-control explosion. We can improve our awareness of our physical state and emotional feelings through some sensitivity training activities, and we can also find days and times when we are prone to anger by recording our daily lives. Step 2: Pause, relax, and take a deep breath. Once you realize that you are already in a state of anger, it is best to stop any action to prevent misfire, and then further relax your body with deep breathing or any other effective method. As long as the body relaxes, you will naturally feel the emotional relief, and rationality can also work. Step 3: Learn to express your emotions. \”Parents are not sages, and their emotions are not right or wrong.\” It\’s just right.Expressing emotions properly is not only beneficial to one\’s own physical and mental health, but also provides a good example for children, thereby guiding them to learn to respect others. Principles for expressing emotions include: objectively pointing out the behavior of your child that bothers you (\”you left the toys on the walkway without putting them away\”), explaining the possible consequences of this behavior (\”my brother will trip and get hurt if he is not careful\”), and say what you Feelings like “I’m really angry.” Step 4: Remember the taboos in parent-child conversations. Indiscriminate words are another side effect of anger. However, words that strongly demean or evaluate the other person, such as: \”You have no hope in life\”, \”You are really stupid\”, can easily cause damage to the parent-child relationship or the child\’s self-esteem. Irreparable damage. Therefore, we should keep these taboos in mind and avoid letting such words out as much as possible. Step 5: Have the courage to admit mistakes and actively correct them. If you violate a taboo or mistakenly blame your child because you are temporarily unable to control it, be sure to bravely admit your mistake after your emotions calm down, and actively correct it in subsequent interactions. Doing so not only provides children with a good example of \”honestly facing mistakes and working hard to improve shortcomings\”, but also allows children to fully feel the love of their parents. As long as they have this feeling, children are usually very tolerant of mistakes made by their parents. Anger is a hidden barrier to EQ and an obstacle to parent-child relationships. Avoiding reefs and overcoming anger not only increases your EQ points, but also provides the best learning model for your children. It is worth the efforts of parents!