There are two major failures in family education: being caught by the child and driving the child to a dead end.

There is a story that is very popular: The father found out that his 15-year-old daughter was not at home, and left a letter that read: \”Dear Mom and Dad, Randy and I eloped today. Randy is a very unique person. Tattooed with all kinds of patterns, he is only 42 years old, not old, right? I will live with him in the forest. Of course, it is not just him and me, Randy has several other women, but I don\’t mind . We will grow marijuana, and in addition to smoking it ourselves, we can also sell it to friends. I also hope that we will have many children in that place. In the process, I also hope that medical technology will make great progress, so that Randy’s AIDS can Cure it.\” After reading this, my father collapsed. However, he found that there was another sentence at the bottom: \”Unfinished, please look at the back.\” The back said: \”Dad, what is said on that page is not true. The truth is that I took the midterm exam at the classmate\’s house next door. The test paper is placed in the drawer. You open it and sign it. The reason why I am writing this letter is to tell you that there are worse things in the world than failing to answer the test paper. You call me now and tell me that I can We’re back home safely.” My father burst into tears immediately! Receiving such a letter, I am afraid every father will burst into tears. If my father had a heart condition, he might have an attack after reading the first half of the page. However, what I am concerned about is what my father should do next after reading this letter. The daughter\’s intention in writing this letter is very obvious, which is to let her father know that compared with running away with someone, having poor grades is not the worst, so her father should forgive her. But if you follow your daughter\’s logic, there are actually worse things in the world than elopement, such as jumping off a building, taking poison, cutting your wrists, lying on a train… Then, one day my daughter will leave a letter saying, \”I committed suicide,\” and then tell her on the back. Father, in fact, he did not commit suicide, but eloped with Randy. Should father support it? Obviously, although the daughter\’s letter was sensational, it was not logically tenable. This letter is ultimately an educational issue, and its essence is how we deal with children\’s learning and performance. We cannot accept poor academic performance because there are worse things than poor academic performance. Otherwise, the child\’s grades cannot be good. In fact, every parent may have encountered similar situations, but they are not as extreme as described in the letter. When one day, our children tell us directly or indirectly, \”Don\’t force me to study anymore, otherwise what will happen?\” How should we as parents respond? This is a very real problem. My answer to this is two points: one is not to give in easily, and the other is not to take it lightly. If we give in as soon as our children threaten us, our children will undoubtedly find our weakness. In the future, they will use the same method to threaten us whenever their demands are not met. This kind of education is a failure. Children\’s ability to withstand stress is much lower than that of adults, and they tend to go to extremes in their thinking. If children\’s strong demands are ignored, it may lead to big mistakes. In that case, we will be even more defeated. Therefore, as the author mentioned in the previous article \”Child, I hope you will grow up, and I hope you are safe\”, at this time, parents should do their children\’s ideological work in a timely manner.to relieve pressure on them. At the same time, provide life education and responsibility education to children, telling them that no matter what difficulties they encounter, they should not harm their own life and health, let alone give up their responsibilities. There are two major failures in family education. One is that children are caught in the trap of life, and the other is that children are driven to a dead end. If the child grabs the life gate, no one can control the child, and he will eventually let himself go; forcing the child to a dead end will cause an irreversible tragedy. Such examples abound in life. Back to the beginning of the story. As a father, the correct approach should be to call his daughter to tell her that she can go home safely, and then criticize her. The father wants to tell his daughter that the sky will not fall if you do not do well in the exam; the sky will not fall if the father criticizes you. There are worse things in the world than poor grades, and there are worse things in the world than criticism from your father; your father will accept your poor grades, and you must also accept his criticism. Let your children know that studying in school is an inevitable stage of life, and working hard to achieve better results will only be beneficial to you later in life. No matter how bad you do in the exam, you will always be our darling, but I hope your results can be better. Children\’s specific situations are very complex, and there is no universal model that can be used. As a parent, when educating your children, you must pay attention to your children\’s reactions and grasp the scale of education. You should neither indulge your children and let them do whatever they want, nor put too much pressure on your children to cause their mental breakdown. Education is a science, and it really cannot be done well by reading a few chicken soup articles. Communicate more with your children, let them feel the power of family affection, and let them develop a correct outlook on learning, life, family affection and a sense of responsibility in a subtle way. Only then can our children grow up healthily.