What is it like to have a husband who is willing to take care of your children?

Ever since the \”second child boom\”, there have been women gathering in the neighbor\’s house recently. They were talking passionately and excitedly. A said: \”The one in my house is really unsightly! I thought that after giving birth to my second child, he would change a little and help take care of the child. Who knows, it is still the same. He should play and drink, and he doesn\’t help at all with housework. I I have to take care of the children, cook, and do housework. I am exhausted.\” I was so excited that I bared my teeth and claws. B listened and nodded repeatedly: \”Yes, yes! My husband is not the same! He only knows how to play games! He doesn\’t have fun with the children. Your husband is the best!\” B said to C. \”Ha, really? He has all the \”advantages\” that your husband has.\” C responded angrily. The atmosphere at this time froze. The women seemed to be thinking about something. Immediately, his eyelids drooped, and his eyes dimmed for a moment. In life, you may often hear these complaints. Maybe you are one of those women. The vast majority of Chinese mothers have such troubles. Raising children seems to be only the mother\’s business, while most fathers do not participate in child care. They like to be \”hands-off shopkeepers\”. \”Widowed parenting\” and \”invisible dad\” all point to family parenting. Dads are obviously alive, and they live around you, but children cannot \”see\” them or touch them. Where is dad? everyone asked. No wonder the variety show \”Where Are We Going, Dad\” has become so popular. He pointed out the phenomenon of our father\’s absence all the time, relieved mothers\’ anger, and alerted people. A classmate once told me that she almost raised her child alone. Her husband hardly participates in raising the children because her husband is very \”busy\” and devotes all his time to work. She has a particularly profound memory. Once, in the middle of the night, her child had a high fever. She was so panicked and helpless that she called her husband. Her husband\’s workplace is near her home, but her husband said he couldn\’t come back and asked her to handle it alone. Then she took her child to the hospital alone in the middle of the night. At that moment, she felt desperate. I understand her sadness. I\’ve had this experience too. I gave birth to Lele by caesarean section and was relatively weak. When I was still in confinement, my waist was very sore and the wound was very painful. There was not enough milk at that time, so we mixed feeding. Children need to drink milk in the middle of the night, usually formula milk. At this time, the husband who loves his wife should get out of bed and make milk powder right away, but my husband sleeps like a dead pig. When I wake him up to make milk powder, he angrily yells at me: \”You don\’t know how to make milk powder!\” The husband\’s inconsideration and lack of responsibility in taking care of the children will push his wife to a dead end. I feel like I almost got postpartum depression. Because at that time, I would often cry for no reason, and I felt that life was hopeless for no reason. Fortunately, my husband still recognized my tears and comforted me in time. Finally, the \”confinement period\” can be passed safely. However, some women are not so lucky. Women who have given birth to children may be on the road of no return due to family conflicts or even because of their husbands\’ inconsideration and lack of understanding. On March 28, 2017, around 9 o\’clock in the morning, for some reason, the community was still quiet in the morning. Suddenly \”bang bang\”\”, two loud noises sounded from the awning outside the high-rise house. Then, two corpses on the ground, one large and one small, came into the eyes of the uncle who was walking up the stairs. Blood slowly seeped out in all directions. The uncle opened his eyes wide. His mouth and legs could no longer move. This is a tragedy that happened in a community in Jiangbei, Chongqing. A 30-year-old mother fell from the 17th floor to her death while holding her baby, who was less than a hundred days old. It is said that the mother suffered from postpartum depression, so She did such a tragic thing. On March 24 of the same year, at the artificial lake on Hubin Road, Taocheng Town, Yongchun County, Fujian, a woman suffered from postpartum depression and committed suicide by jumping into the lake while holding her 7-month-old daughter. January At around 20:00 on the evening of the 6th, in a community in Xiangtan, Hunan, a 31-year-old mother jumped from the 13th floor with her two young children a week before her birthday… In the end, all three died. Death… There are far more than three such tragedies. These women all suffered from postpartum depression to varying degrees, and eventually did tragic things that hurt themselves and their children. Why is there a disease called \”postpartum depression\”? That\’s Because after a woman has experienced tremendous physical and psychological changes, her role and psychology are seriously unsuitable. Especially after the birth of a child, she will be panicked and helpless. At this time, they especially need help, consideration and love. And family members, especially It is the husband who is the most important factor in helping them get through this difficult period. I had a caesarean section, so I had to stay in the hospital for a few days. During these few days, in addition to breastfeeding, other bathing and navel care were It’s about the nurse. After I was discharged from the hospital, I became afraid. I didn’t know how to bathe him or protect his navel. If at this time, my husband didn’t come to help and face the problem with his wife, learn and solve it , then the wife will be anxious and helpless, coupled with the inconsideration of the old man, who thinks that women are born with these things and are not so delicate. Over time, the woman will be depressed and emotionally unstable. In addition, postpartum weakness, special needs Sleep, if the husband is not considerate at this time and takes care of the child as much as possible, leaving the child to the wife, the wife will lack sleep and lack of physical strength, which will trigger a series of anxiety and tension. Over time, depression will \”grow up\” \”It\’s done.\” Experts remind that family members are the most effective \”medicine\” to prevent and treat postpartum depression. Family members should do their best to lend a helping hand, especially the husband\’s role is more important. Pay attention to the early warning signs of postpartum depression sent by mothers. And help the wife resolve it in a timely manner. After giving birth to a child, family members will generally shift their focus to the child. At this time, the husband should give his wife more care and attention. In addition, the husband, as the middleman, plays a vital role in promoting the relationship between his wife and other family members. Good communication plays a very important role. The importance of the husband is self-evident. Women in this period especially need the care of their husbands. His thoughtful words, every moment he holds the child, every breastfeeding moment, every time he puts the child to sleep The time spent together is engraved in the wife\’s heart, tenderizing her feelings and warming her heart. At this moment, she will fully feel that the child is the crystallization of the love of two people; at this moment, she will be pregnant for her ten months of hard work feeling proud; she truly felt at this momentTo the happiness of being a wife and mother. How could she suffer from postpartum depression like this? One thing I know very well is that when it comes to raising children, the husband must be involved. He not only takes on the responsibility of nurturing, he must also take on the work of feeding. But when a man transforms from a boy into a real father, he needs the guidance of his wife. As we all know, the mother\’s role is the most important and irreplaceable during the child\’s infancy, especially during the lactation period. But I also feel that the father’s participation is also very important during this period, even during lactation. Because my child is mixed-fed, I let my husband feed her whenever she drinks milk powder. Sometimes the child is hungry and my husband has not gotten off work yet. I would rather let the child be hungry for a while, then wait for his father to come back to feed him milk, and then put him to sleep after that. Because the father and the child have such a close connection, the child now has a particularly good relationship with his father. Dad is also patient with his children and is willing to give his children his love. Now that my child is in second grade, he goes to his father first if he has any questions, and he doesn’t need me as much. In addition to breastfeeding, I let my husband participate, and he also needs to be really involved in the child\’s medical treatment. Just like the child is sick, has a fever, needs to see a doctor, and the father still has to go to work. At the beginning, when faced with this situation, he suggested that I take the child to see a doctor. I had to wait until he got off work because I was afraid and unsure. After a while, he stopped barking and consciously adjusted his class to take his children to the doctor with me. Sometimes, in the hospital, when he saw a mother holding her child by herself, holding an injection in one hand and a bag containing the child\’s necessities in the other, he would sigh: \”Look at how powerful that woman is, why can\’t you do the same?\” .\” I retorted to him: \”Why should I do this? Don\’t you think she is miserable? If the husband goes out to work, there is nothing you can do, but if the husband is at home but does not accompany his wife and children to see a doctor, such a husband is really terrible!\” He I listened and acquiesced. In the matter of raising children, the husband\’s participation is of great benefit to both the wife and the children, and it is \”all benefits without any harm\” to the husband. This is a win-win result. When the husband takes care of the children, the wife feels the husband\’s love and care, and thus feels happy and happy. This is the \”big pillar\” of family stability and harmony. When a husband takes care of a child, it is a lifetime wealth given by the father to the child. I hope every father can realize his important role in the growth of his children and stop being an \”invisible father\”. At present, most Chinese families\’ love for their children is still at the basic stage, focusing on the provision of material conditions. In order to earn more money for milk powder, the father is \”invisible\” in accompanying his children due to objective factors and subjective consciousness. However, in the process of children\’s growth, parents play an indispensable role. The father brings a sense of security to the child, which will also subtly make the child more emotionally stable, more open in behavior, more confident, more independent, and more brave to explore the unknown world around him. Without further ado, from now on, give the orders and let your husband take care of the children!