Mom, there\’s a monster under my bed

Some time ago, when Su Bao was sleeping, I said good night to her and was about to turn off the light. She suddenly took my hand and said: Mom, don\’t turn off the light, I don\’t want a monster. I was a little surprised, wondering where she knew the concept of \”monster\”. After thinking about it for a while, I remembered that she might be referring to the fire-breathing dragon in the picture book I read a few days ago. Is it useful to tell your baby that there are no monsters in the world? My first reaction at that time was to tell Su Bao that there were no monsters in the world. Then I thought about it, I myself was afraid of ghosts for a while when I was a child. Adults would tell me every time that there were no ghosts in the world, but it did not comfort me at all. Many children will have their imagination sprouting around the age of two. They can process what they see and understand in their brains and form their own emanations. For example, if they get to know monsters in picture books, they may further imagine monsters. Hide in your room. Preschool children may not be able to distinguish the relationship between imagination and fact. In their world, monsters are a fact. The more we avoid them, the more they will continue to interfere with us. When children are afraid of monsters and ask adults for help, they are actually looking for an ally. They subconsciously hope that you can understand their fear, which is even more important than helping them solve this fear. If an adult tells him that there are no monsters in the world at this time, it may actually deny his emotions. It\’s like when they say: Mom, I have a stomachache, and you reply that you don\’t have a stomachache (but it doesn\’t help). Instead of denying the existence of monsters, it is better to first acknowledge the child\’s fear. A method commonly used by mothers is to check every corner of the room with the baby to confirm that the monster is not here, and then check whether the doors and windows are closed together, and then tell Baby, this is our home, mom and dad will not allow monsters to come to our home. Of course, this method is not a panacea and may work for some children. Some children may still be worried, fearing that their parents may accidentally let the monster in. But at least, taking your child\’s fears seriously is equivalent to turning yourself into your baby\’s \”ally\” and conveying two messages to him: Your fears are recognized and accepted. Mom and Dad are your allies, and we can Let’s face fear together. On the premise of agreeing with the child’s fear, I have personally tested the following two methods to be effective: 1. “Use the question to your advantage”. When Su Bao told me that she was afraid of monsters, I sat down by her bed and asked her about monsters. What color is it. She said it was green. I asked her again what the monster likes to eat? She thought for a while and said that she likes to eat blueberries. I said: \”Oh, it turns out to be the same as you\” (blueberries happen to be Su Bao\’s favorite fruit recently). Sub Bao chuckled. I lowered my voice and said to her, you know what? The monster also likes to eat salmon, popcorn and chocolate (these are all Subao likes to eat). Su Bao looked at me doubtfully, and I used the topic to say, \”But he hasn\’t eaten anything now.\” His mother told him picture books, drank milk, changed diapers, and now he goes to sleep holding his little rabbit (these are Su Bao\’s bedtime routine, and the little rabbit is Su Bao\’s comfort toy). Su Bao suddenly realized: He is a baby. She lay down and turned over a few times, relievedFell asleep. Guide children to describe or even draw monsters in as much detail as possible, which can give their fears an outlet. In the process of describing monsters with your children, try to give the imaginary \”monsters\” a personality and turn the monsters into our own kind. Su Bao realized that the monster also needed to listen to picture books and drink milk. It turned out to be a very soft monster that needed love. 2. Turn unknown evil into known good intentions. Children’s fear of monsters is usually associated with darkness, because darkness is full of unknowns and will expand their imagination infinitely. Since what scares people is the unknown, turning unknown evil into known good and letting children have a \”good impression\” of monsters can help children understand and deal with fear. I tried to remember when I was not afraid of ghosts. It should be after watching the cartoon \”Ghost Horse and Elf\” and I discovered that the abilities of ghosts are limited. They can also be troubled and shy, just like ordinary people. American children are very familiar with \”Sesame Street\”. The protagonists in it are all \”monsters\”, but they have different personalities, such as the curious Elmo, Zoe who likes to sing and dance, and even some who love to eat cookies. Cookie Monster, these furry and friendly monsters, can make children have a better impression of monsters. Pixar Animation also released a classic movie called \”Monsters Inc\” many years ago. It tells the story of a group of \”good monsters\” trying to protect the protagonist, a little girl. It is particularly heartwarming and touching, and I recommend it to everyone. In addition to cartoons, you can also show your baby some picture books about cute monsters and friendly monsters to release your baby\’s negative imagination about monsters and replace unknown \”bad monsters\” with images of friendly monsters. Picture book recommendation: Go Away, Big Green Monster! 》Author: Ed Emberley Suitable for ages: 1+ This is a cave book with a monster as the protagonist, and the style of painting is humorous and full of creativity. The first time I learned about this book was when I took Su Bao to the library to listen to picture books. As the teacher turned the pages of the book and described the monster\’s facial features, the \”monster\” appeared little by little. As the children said to the monster: Go away! The monsters disappeared page after page. It turns out that the fate of the monsters\’ existence is in the hands of young readers. I found a video of this book for you: The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark Author: Jill Tomlinson Suitable for ages: 2+ The protagonist in the book, the little owl, is afraid of the dark and does not dare to talk to his parents. We went hunting together, and our mother took him to experience the things children love to do most at night: watching fireworks, camping, celebrating Christmas Eve, and looking at the stars with a telescope. The little owl discovered that the night was so charming, and it was no longer afraid of the night. Go to Sleep, Monster! 》Author: Kevin Cornell Suitable for ages: 3+ The protagonist in the book, the little boy, cannot sleep because he is afraid of what is under the bed.Later, he discovered that the monster under the bed was too scared to sleep. It said that there was also a monster under his bed. Everyone looked down layer by layer and found the monster at the bottom. He was lonely and sad. In the end, the child put it to sleep. I Need My Monster Author: Amanda Noll Suitable for ages: 4+ The protagonist in the book is a little girl. She has a monster named Gabe, but one day Gabe left without saying goodbye and went fishing. She is special She missed her monster so much that she couldn\’t sleep. Then she found some other monsters who \”applied\” to replace Gabe, but they were too cute and not \”scary\” enough to meet the little girl\’s requirements, so she rejected these monsters. \”Application\”, finally her Gabe finally came back, and she fell asleep peacefully. After reading this book, I believe that children will realize that monsters are not scary at all, just like the little girl in the book. This completely subverts our traditional understanding of monsters. I recommend this picture book to be read by children over 4 years old, because the dialogues in the book are relatively complex and require some abstract thinking skills to understand. This book also has a video for everyone: We ourselves were once children, and we also experienced the stage of being afraid of monsters. Teaching babies to deal with fear is a technical job. Recognizing and accepting your baby\’s emotions, not labeling them as \”timid\”, and letting them feel their own strength can help them have a stronger heart. I hope that every baby can be a brave and confident person in the future \”upgrading and fighting monsters\”.