Let your trust live in your child’s heart

Recently there is a very popular Indian movie \”Dangal!\” dad\”. The movie tells the story of a wrestling champion father who accidentally discovers his daughter\’s talents and shining points. In a society that values ​​boys over girls, he withstands all pressure. When everyone thinks it is impossible, his daughter finally stands out. On the highest podium. The movie is very inspiring, and many friends who have watched it said they were moved to tears. I shed tears not only because of the inspiration of this movie, but also because of the trust behind the inspiration. Why are we so moved? Because the movie makes us feel a trust we have never felt before, the kind that comes from unconditional trust. Let me tell you a child’s story first. There is a child whose grades were not bad when he was in elementary school. However, his grades began to decline in middle school and he was gradually not favored by his teachers. At that time, a good way to judge whether you were a good student in the eyes of the teacher was to look at the seat assigned to you by the teacher. Excluding the height factor, if your seat is arranged relatively far back, it can almost be understood that the teacher does not pay attention to you. Therefore, he also thought that was about it. There was a period of time when I felt a bit like a broken person. I was late for class, skipped school, smoked, and got into fights. The head teacher at that time had no favor or trust in him. I remember one time when I wanted to pay a fee, he walked into the office during the break and handed the money to the class teacher, who gave him change. When he saw it, he saw that the money was too much. He said he hesitated at that time whether to take the money and walk away, but he still returned the money. It wasn\’t because he was noble, his real thought at the time was that the money was too little, and if he had more money, he might not give it back. So, he told the class teacher, \”The money was changed in the wrong way.\” He still remembered the disdain, questioning, and impatience of the head teacher at that time. \”What\’s wrong? Where\’s the mistake?…\” Before the head teacher could finish speaking, he replied: \”You gave me 2 yuan more.\” The head teacher changed his smile and took the money back without saying a word of thanks. At this time, a subject teacher next to him made him look at himself again. The teacher said to him and the class teacher: Teacher XX, this is a good child. It’s great that you can have such a good child in your class. In the eyes of the teacher, he has always been an unmotivated child, and he thought that was really what he was like. Because I have never received enough trust, I cannot trust myself. Until he heard the teacher\’s words, it was the first time he heard a teacher\’s praise since he was in middle school. Since then, I have gradually changed. Although my studies are still not very good, at least I know that life is not about breaking the jar, because if it is broken, the jar will only become more broken. Yes, I was that kid. Trust is the beginning of self-healing. Is there someone who believes in you when you don’t even believe in yourself? He makes you believe in yourself and discover yourself. The representative work of the famous children\’s book writer Peter Reynolds, the picture book \”Dot\” tells such a story. A child named Vashti was in an art class. After the whole class was over, she was still sitting motionless on her chair because there was nothing on her drawing paper. She said she could not draw., because she didn’t write at all and didn’t know what to draw. The art teacher did not blame her, but humorously said to the white paper: \”Ah! A polar bear in the snowstorm.\” The teacher\’s humor did not make Vashti happy, \”I just can\’t draw!\” \”Then! Just make a random stroke and see what comes out.\” Vashti\’s teacher asked her to express herself freely. Because she didn\’t believe she could draw anything, Vashti was full of emotions about herself. So, on the blank piece of drawing paper, she used a brush to poke an extremely ordinary and angry point. The teacher looked at the drawing paper carefully, then pushed the drawing paper in front of Vashti and asked her to sign on it. Later, when Vashti entered the art classroom, she was surprised to find that the spot she punched on the white paper was actually framed by the teacher and hung above the desk. Vashti began to feel that she could paint something better than this. If I can draw one dot, I can also draw many dots. If I can draw small dots, then I can also draw big dots. If I can draw dots of one color, then I can also draw dots of many different colors. She began to experiment and draw various dots. She began to become more and more confident, creating paintings with different inspirations. Her various dot drawings have even become a unique landscape in the school. Vashti succeeded. From a child who didn\’t know how to draw, and was even so angry that he didn\’t want to draw, he became a little famous painter with his own style. Vashti is lucky. Fortunately, she discovered a place she had not discovered before, but this is not the luckiest place. The most fortunate thing is that she met the art teacher\’s trust in her. Trust is the discovery of self-growth. There is a very famous experiment in psychology called the visual cliff experiment, which studies how long it takes for babies to develop depth perception. The experiment set up a platform where babies could crawl from one end to the other. There is a section of the platform that is empty below and covered with a thick layer of transparent glass. It is safe for babies to crawl over, but it looks scary. This feeling is just like when you are standing in the sightseeing hall of Shanghai World Financial Tower, a sightseeing promenade several hundred meters above the ground. The floor of the promenade is paved with transparent glass, although we all know consciously that sightseeing on it is Safe, but still a little scary. The reason why I mention this experiment is that not long ago, there was a video program called: \”A mother\’s smile helps a child walk through a sea of ​​​​fire\” that reenacted this experiment. The program team arranged a visual cliff environment, allowing the child and mother to be on both sides of the \”cliff\” to see whether the child can overcome the fear in his heart and successfully pass the \”cliff\”. The child originally wanted to crawl towards his mother, but when he reached the edge of the cliff, he was in a dilemma. He looked at his expressionless mother again and returned to where he was. Later, the program team asked the mothers to stretch out their arms in a hugging posture with great patience at the end of the \”cliff\”, and always call their children with a smile on their faces. Finally, some children who were unwilling to climb over before were tempted and hesitated.After feeling uneasy, he still chose to crawl over. Children who have developed depth perception will feel scared when they are on a \”cliff\”, and it may seem dangerous to climb forward. However, facing their mother\’s call and smile, they overcame the fear in their hearts and crawled over because their mother was there and because their trust was there. Trust is the source of self-strength. Every time you move forward, you may feel hesitant, uneasy, and in a dilemma like a baby climbing a visual cliff. Every time he studies, he may be like Vashti learning to paint, thinking that he will never be able to paint. Every time I grow up, I may give up to the point of breaking the pot like I did in middle school. But these children were lucky enough to meet someone who said to him: I believe in you. Every child\’s growth is a matter of trial and error. The first time I learned to walk, the first time I learned to ride a bicycle, the first time I went out alone… Every step taken comes from the trust and companionship of parents in their children. Even if life is not perfect, you are still willing to respect and cherish him; even if the road ahead is full of thorns, you are still willing to encourage and accompany him; even if life is full of hardships, you will still tell him that you are my pride. Trust is the beginning of self-healing; trust is the discovery of self-growth; trust is the source of self-strength; trust is love. Those legends who never gave up easily had one person who believed in and protected them with their lives. If you can, please let your trust live in your child\’s heart. Because every life is the beginning of a legend.