Please tell your children that some secrets must not be kept

Today\’s article feels very heavy, but some things make people even more heavy after they happen. Then do something while you still have time. Let’s start with a movie. The movie is called \”Sowon\” and tells the story of an ordinary family in South Korea. Her father is a worker in a machine factory and her mother owns a small shop. The child\’s name is Suyuan and she is in primary school. This is a family where the mother is too busy and the father doesn\’t care. At that time, adults were not in the habit of checking their mobile phones, but this father would come home every day and lie down on the sofa to watch football games. My daughter wants to braid her hair, but she can’t. If your daughter didn\’t do her homework well, go to your mother. And a mother who is pregnant with her second child simply does not have enough time to take care of her daughter. So on a rainy morning, a wine bottle rolled past on the street in front of a small shop. No one noticed that a tragedy began quietly. The well-behaved Suyuan held an umbrella and went to school by herself, but her mother turned back halfway. A drunken uncle appeared in front of Suyuan. The kind-hearted child did not realize that this was a demon more ferocious than the evil wolf. He also held an umbrella for him who was soaked in the rain. As a result, the little girl was sexually assaulted, causing indelible damage to her young mind and body. She had to live in an external toilet bag for the rest of her life, and the inner damage was beyond healing. As a parent, only when I see my children suffering such sins do I regret my negligence. There are too many families like this around us. A father who earns money to support the family is busy day and night but is seriously absent, and a mother who is often too busy to sleep. Some time ago, the suicide of Taiwanese talented girl Lin Yihan focused everyone\’s attention on the safety education of children. It is more about triggering thinking about family education. At the age of 26, she was once a child prodigy in the eyes of everyone, a happy girl with outstanding talents. But at this age when her ideals were just blooming, she chose to commit suicide and leave. This ending was actually laid as early as when she was sexually assaulted by a tutor when she was 13 years old. The sequelae of sexual assault remain latent for years and eventually kill people. In psychology, this phenomenon has a proper name called PTSD, which is post-traumatic stress disorder. After an individual experiences deep trauma, it is suppressed for various reasons and accumulates over a long period of time, but it will not disappear. If triggered by certain events, it will cause stress reactions such as self-injury and self-mutilation. Lin Yihan is like this. So did more victims. Her parents said: \”Now that Yihan has returned to her favorite Tainan, we will definitely cooperate fully with the investigation, but we urge all kind-hearted friends who feel sorry for Yihan to never forget Yihan\’s last wish: prevention is better than cure! Don’t let the next Fang Siqi happen! Parents without this sense of safety often put their children in danger without knowing it. They even become the “accomplice” of the perpetrator. What do parents do when their children are violated? ? Lin Yihan wrote in the book: Just now at the dinner table, Siqi said to her mother in a tone of bread and butter: \”Our tutor seems to have everything, but no sex education.\” Her mother looked at her in surprise, Answer: \”What sex education? Sex education is for those who need sex. Isn\’t that what education is?\” Siqi understood for a moment that in thisIn the story, the parents will be permanently absent. They missed school, but they thought that school hadn\’t started yet. There are still many parents who face this problem numbly. There is a father in Beijing who also found a famous teacher for tutoring for his 17-year-old daughter. Unexpectedly, the child said he wanted to change tutors midway. My father said that this is a teacher from a key middle school, and it is so expensive to hire him. I thought my daughter was just afraid of hardship and felt that the schoolwork was too heavy, so she refused to make up classes emotionally and didn\’t pay much attention to it. Besides, my daughter’s grades have always been normal, so I didn’t think there was a problem. He actually used the child\’s performance as an indicator to evaluate the child\’s life status. If the child\’s performance declined, he might change the teacher, but the child ignored the request to change the teacher. Children who are disappointed with their father have no choice but to continue to listen to their father. As a result, the teacher started from the initial molestation and finally raped the girl four times. Finally, my father realized something was wrong and installed a camera to discover the truth. It is urgent to protect children and awaken parents’ awareness of protection. Nowadays, the degree of perversion of bad people often refreshes our bottom line again and again. An incredible thing happened in Ningbo, which made us refresh our bottom line on \”bad guys\”. There was a news report saying that the 16-month-old baby girl of Ms. Wang’s family in Ningbo was sexually assaulted. The doctor said: \”The tear on the child\’s posterior vaginal wall and perineal body is very serious and requires emergency debridement and suturing!\” Ms. Wang suspected that it was done by an acquaintance: \”There is someone we know, and he also does business in the market. Yes, sometimes I would hold my daughter to play. This time I also took my daughter out to play and came back almost 40 minutes later. At that time, the baby had candy in her hand but her eyes were dull. I was changing her clothes and I touched her lower body, and she felt a little uncomfortable. I\’m so happy, the blood in the diaper has seeped into it…\” The bad guy in this matter who is worse than a beast is hateful. But this mother who handed her child into the hands of bad people must also reflect. According to statistics, more than 80% of child sexual assaults are committed by acquaintances. The reality is that compared with the concern caused by left-behind children in rural areas, people tend to ignore that urban children are also victims of sexual abuse. Compared with the attention paid to girls who are raped, many boys are sexually assaulted, but are covered up intentionally or unintentionally. As a parent, fear and anger are not enough. Not to mention praying for God’s blessing, but to take positive actions. Teach children to protect themselves. Give children some weapons to protect themselves and give evil no opportunity to take advantage of them. Give yourself safety lessons as early as possible, improve safety awareness, and then teach your children safety protection measures. Because your blindness, ignorance or neglect is often the bridge for sin to sneak over. Provide sex education to children at the appropriate time and don’t be shy about talking about sex. Because your silence will make your children hurt and they won’t know how to refuse. For example, tickling is children\’s favorite game, so you must tell your children which places are not allowed to be touched. And tell your children why you are doing this? Take the trouble to popularize this knowledge to your children. Parents can convey such knowledge to their children more intuitively through the medium of picture books and storybooks. For example, I would tell my son not to keep secrets easily, because many secrets can hurt people. He didn\’t understand it at a young age, but later he read the storybook \”The Secret That Must Not Be Kept\”, which made himKnow how to protect yourself from inappropriate touching. Understand that some secrets should never be kept. Of course, the more important thing is to tell your children that your parents will always protect you. If anyone hurts you, no matter what happens, please tell your parents and don\’t be afraid. In addition to the harm caused by sexual assault, children also face many safety education issues. Many kindergartens have conducted stranger tests, in which strangers seduce children through candies, playgrounds, etc. Many children will easily agree to go with strangers, which almost makes their parents collapse. Therefore, we must help children establish safety awareness in this area. The two picture books \”I Won\’t Follow You\” and \”Stay Away from the Friendly \”Old Cat\”\” can help children develop a defensive psychology and coping methods, and not easily believe in the \”kindness\” of strangers. This growth path requires parents to carefully build a basic safety net. In a dangerous world, please protect the ones you love.