If I accidentally offend you, please come at me, but don\’t attack my children

The day before yesterday, a criminal case that shocked the whole country occurred in Guangzhou, where Qing Lanjun is located: a 7-year-old boy had his right wrist cut off by a 41-year-old man with a knife on his way to school. A restaurant owner who witnessed the scene said: \”(The murderer) took the boy\’s hand (broken limb) away after hacking the person.\” According to police investigation, the suspect and the boy\’s family suspected of having a debt dispute. The horror of the incident and the cruelty of the murderer are outrageous! God cannot tolerate it! As an educator, it breaks my heart every time I see these things hurting children. No matter how big the grudge is, if you want to take revenge, just take revenge on the adults. The child is so innocent, how can you bear to hurt him? What a skill! In a mother\’s group that Qing Lanjun belongs to, many mothers feel scared when talking about this matter. Because this kind of criminal cases in which \”adults make grudges and children suffer\” happen again and again. For example, the year before last, an old man in Chenzhou, Hunan, tricked a 7-year-old boy and 5-year-old girl from another family into playing. He then took them into a grove and force-fed them concentrated sulfuric acid. He then poured the remaining sulfuric acid all over the children\’s bodies and killed them. Throw it where you are and flee the scene. After the police arrived at the scene, they found that the two children were beyond recognition and miserable. In the end, the girl died after rescue efforts failed. It is understood that the man who committed the crime was in his 60s. Because the grandfather of the two children was deaf, there was a misunderstanding when communicating with him, which triggered a conflict. Afterwards, he killed the two children. A mother who is usually very active in the group said: \”I\’m so scared! A very nervous person like me, who usually does things carelessly and heartlessly, may not even know what he says if he offends others. If What should I do if the enemy takes revenge on my son one day?!\” Although these vicious criminal cases of \”adults enmity and children suffer\” are terrible and frequently reported to the press, they are in the minority after all. What is even more worrying is the invisible retaliation, such as a neighbor\’s adult secretly beating, scolding, or pinching his or her own child, or an individual teacher with poor ethics in the school who removes the child\’s class cadre because he is dissatisfied with the parents. , changing the child\’s seat, ignoring the child… This kind of retaliatory behavior is milder, but more common and more covert. Many times it happens, but the children don’t dare to talk about it, and the parents don’t know. The child can only fall into fear alone, leaving psychological scars that cannot be erased. Every injustice has its owner, and every debt has its owner. For people who like to attack children, Qinglanjun just wants to say, if an adult accidentally offends you, please come to the adult. You can beat him up, but don\’t attack children! However, Qinglanjun also knows that people who attack children are often vindictive and psychopathic, and it is impossible to reason with them. Xi Ma, a single mother, told me about her experiences. After the divorce, she moved to a small apartment with her 8-year-old son. The soundproofing of the apartment was not very good, but her son was a bit noisy, so she always told him to be quiet and not to disturb the grandma downstairs and the little brother next door. The next door neighbor is a couple with a little boy, and their house often makes some thumping noises. Although it was a bit noisy, Xi\’s mother understood that most boys were naughty, so she didn\’t pay much attention to it. One day, her son Xixi accidentally pushed a plate of building blocks from the table to the ground. Xixi\’s mother told her son to be careful, otherwise it would be bad if he disturbed the neighbors. Just finished, doorSomeone knocked on the door outside. When I opened the door, I saw that it was the male owner of the neighbor\’s house. He said rudely: \”Take care of your children. What time is it? It woke up my son. It\’s true!\” Xi\’s mother quickly apologized. : \”I\’m sorry, I will try my best to keep the children from making noise in the future.\” When he heard this, he said: \”As much as possible? Is it because your children don\’t have a father to discipline them? How about I discipline your children to avoid being rude!\” Xima was angry after hearing this. He came to the other side and said, \”Okay, you should also take care of your children. I haven\’t said anything about your children when they make noises. We won\’t disturb each other from now on.\” After that, he closed the door with a bang. I thought that was the end of the matter. Unexpectedly, when she returned home one time and saw her son\’s face swollen and crying, Xima asked the nanny what was going on. The nanny told her that every time the neighbor girl saw Xixi in the community, she would scold her and pinch her on the arm twice. This time she actually beat her child. After hearing this, Xima burst into tears, feeling angry, sad, and helpless. If you have a big argument with someone, you\’re afraid the conflict will escalate and your child will be exposed to more dangers. Just swallow your anger, but you are worried that others will think you are easy to bully and continue to beat your children. In short, there is no reason to argue with this kind of \”garbage people\”. Later, Xima had to move with her children. If you can\’t afford to offend, can you still afford to hide? I have a friend who has experience dealing with \”garbage people.\” At one point, he was driving in the right lane when, suddenly, a black car pulled out of a parking space and blocked the way. The friend immediately hit the brakes and the car slid for a short distance, just in time to dodge the oncoming car. The distance between the two cars was only a few centimeters! The driver of the car shook his head viciously and yelled at us. My friend just smiled and waved at the guy. What I mean is: My friend was being nice. So I asked him: \”Why did you just do that?! That guy almost destroyed your car and might have hurt us!\” He explained: \”Some people are like \’garbage people.\’ They run around everywhere, The body is full of frustration, anger, jealousy, calculation, hatred, arrogance and prejudice, greed and dissatisfaction, complaints, comparisons, and disdain, ignorance, ignorance, worry, revenge and disappointment. As the garbage in the heart accumulates, As they pile up, they eventually need to find a place to dump them; sometimes we just happen to have the trash thrown at us. So no need to mind! Just smile, wave, stay away from them, and keep going our own way. Absolutely. Don\’t waste your time and energy on \’garbage people.\’\” Yes, there is no way to argue with \”garbage people.\” What we can do is to be careful in what we say and do, stay away from others, and don\’t get into quarrels with others. For example, sometimes when my husband is in a hurry with someone else, he quickly stops him. I wasn\’t afraid of fighting at that time, but I was afraid of being retaliated afterward. It’s not that you are timid or cowardly, but that doing more is worse than doing less. Tragedy is often caused by a mistake. Take a step back and the world is brighter, and you have to be merciful and merciful, because the \”garbage man\” may attack at any time. 04 There are many people who are good people, but sometimes they are \”nervous\” and offend \”garbage people\” without knowing it. How can we not offend others? Qinglanjun lists 20 behaviors that can easily offend others. I hope it can be used as a mirror to see yourself clearly.remind myself. 1. Talking about others behind their backs. Please trust that no one will keep your secrets secret. 2. There are many things. Give advice to others when they are doing something. 3. Steal the conversation, and any topic can be related to yourself. (People who are not narcissistic will die) 4. Speak too directly. To put it bluntly, he is too selfish and will not stand in other people\’s shoes. 5. Don’t say anything disrespectful in front of Zi Zi. Sometimes, it is really too difficult to tear apart. 6. Criticize what others like. Idols are rubbish, children really don’t grow up, pet dogs are unruly and dirty… 7. \”Informal\”, too much treating oneself as an outsider. 8. Mistaking personal attacks for ridicule, and mistaking mean words for humor. 9. Don’t give others face or show off to others. 10. Be reasonable on all issues and like to debate too much. 11. Frivolous speech and proud tone. 12. Don’t reply to other people’s messages. 13. Throw cold water on others regardless of the occasion. 14. Always deny other people’s opinions. Whatever you say, he or she will say: No, it’s not like that, it’s not that. 15. Demand the other person with a standard that you think is good and want to change the other person. 16. Act emotionally. 17. Immerse yourself in logical analysis and ignore the emotional needs of the other person. 18. Insecure and always suspicious of others. 19. Self, ignoring the feelings of others when pursuing goals, unknowingly making others feel instrumentalized. 20. Insensitive and stubborn, but thinking that he is peaceful. All in all, give more understanding and love to others, don\’t be paranoid about your own reasons and interests when encountering problems, get along with this society gently, and have friendly dialogues with the world. This kind of thinking mode not only makes you feel happy at the moment, but also ensures the safety of your children. This is what the saying goes, \”A house that accumulates good deeds will always be blessed.\”