Mom and Dad, do you really take my feelings into consideration?

One night, my son came to give me a pat on the back as usual. This was a little sweet moment between us as father and son. When beating, my son always asks me, \”Dad, do you want it to be gentler?\” Especially when he sees me shouting sometimes, he will quickly stop and ask if he is beating too hard. That day he said some very philosophical words while pounding. \”Dad, do you know why I ask you? Because you have your feelings and I have mine. I am not you, so I don\’t know your feelings, so I have to ask you.\” \”Yes! You said that It makes so much sense.\” My wife also interjected and said, \”He is a little philosopher. He understands that \’a child is not a fish, how can he know the joy of a fish\’.\” The little child said what different people are. There are different feelings. It sounds like a simple truth that everyone understands, but there are really not many people who can really consider the feelings of others. Especially as parents, we care less about our children\’s feelings. Because understanding children is not that simple. Do you really care about your children\’s feelings? Sometimes, parents\’ actions often make children feel angry. When I was playing in the park a few days ago, I saw a little guy crying in his mother\’s arms. The mother kept saying, \”It\’s okay, it\’s okay. My brother just touched you. Stop crying and just touched you.\” The child cried even louder. But in fact, the child was beaten. He was beaten by a brother who was older than him, and he felt very aggrieved. Originally, the fighting among the children might be left to crying. But the mother denies the child\’s feelings and even denies the matter itself, making the child angry. The mother also smiled and said, \”Look, you are an older brother in kindergarten. He only touched you if he liked you.\” And what about the child who hit? He kept covering his mother\’s mouth with his hands, not wanting to hear her mother\’s accusations, and not wanting to apologize. I often take my son to play outside. He would also accidentally bump into other children, and he would not apologize at first, but I would squat down and say to him, \”Would you feel good if you were hit? You must be uncomfortable, but someone wants to say something to you.\” Sorry, it will make you feel much better.\” Tell him properly every time, and now he will take the initiative to apologize. I take into account his little fear of not admitting when he makes a mistake, but I must tell him what he should do. If he makes a mistake, apologize and say sorry. It\’s no big deal. Of course he also had the experience of being beaten. Once he was hit in the stomach by a child older than himself. When I saw him crying in pain, I asked him if he had been beaten and if it hurt. Then show him his belly. Of course, there won\’t be any big problems if the kids are playing around. At no time should parents deny their children\’s feelings just because they care about face among adults. In fact, after you check your child, firmly tell him that it\’s okay and don\’t worry. Then deal with the fact of the fight. You can encourage the other little kid to apologize, \”Should you say sorry to your brother? Be more careful next time and take care of your brother!\” In this case, there is no harm to both children, so why say that the child was beaten? Was it just \”touched\”? Sometimes, what children care about is whether their parents pay attention to the fact and feelings of being beaten, and whether they really care about whether they are injured, because the children have noThere is no way to tell whether you are injured. When children are young, it doesn’t matter if they have feelings. This is the concept of many parents. They feel that a child cannot even be called an independent individual with his own ideas. Rather, they think that their children are their own \”products\”, so we hear some angry parents say, \”You were born by me, so you have to listen to me and do whatever I want.\” Such parents will try their best to do whatever they want. To control the child. Of course they can\’t feel it themselves. Because under the banner of love, I thought it was all love. For example, \”As long as you are willing, I will fully support you. Of course, you don\’t have to study. I respect your choice.\” There are two types of parents who say this. One is to sincerely respect the child and be willing to let the child be independent. Another way is to control children in this way. It seems to be respecting, but in fact, children have been left with no choice. This sentence is only to whitewash the true nature of controlling children. I found that there were too many parents with strong controlling desires around me. Some parents plan their children\’s life path before the child is born. They even thought about the majors their children would study and the universities they would attend. Of course, many of them are my unfulfilled dreams. Looking forward to blooming in children. But children have their own lives! They came into the world for themselves. In \”On Children\”, the poet Gibran clarified the significance of children\’s arrival in the world to all parents. Your children are actually not your children. They are the children born of life\’s desire for itself. They came to this world through you, but not because of you. They are by your side, but they do not belong to you. What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts. What you can shelter is their bodies, but not their souls, because their souls belong to tomorrow, a tomorrow that you cannot reach in your dreams. Every time I read this poem, I have new feelings. Children must have their own independent thoughts, not their parents\’ thoughts, which is the most important. To develop this kind of independent thinking, you must have a parent who is willing to listen to your child and truly respect your child. Sometimes when I hold my son in my arms, I wish I could give him everything I have. But I know that he will eventually have his own world. As for me, it would be best to take back this impulsive and foolish idea. Become the watchman. The more you love your children, the more often you need to reflect on your own love. Because love can sometimes make people get lost and become a kind of control. When a child cries, there must be a reason. Even if they are trying to control you, it is because they want to control you. Babies cry to call their parents to protect themselves. Children use cries to express their emotions. They don\’t know how to deal with it as they grow up, and their moods are good and bad. And sometimes, it\’s just crying. Parents should accept a crying child. What is the reason for the child? There must be a reason for the child\’s slowness and impatience. I find it ridiculous sometimes. Because the standards for speed are set by adults. The son said, \”Dad, why do you say I\’m slow? I\’m so fast.\” It\’s true. When adults are anxious about something, they keep urging their children to go faster. And what about when adults are dawdling? Just say \”slow down, slow down, don\’t be anxious, I said slow down\”,Children are often asked to slow down. Between this speed and slowness, the child becomes at a loss. Great God! You said if I do this, is it faster or slower? When we dislike our children for being too pushy or too hasty. Please consider your child\’s feelings and see if you are confused. On the contrary, it disrupts the child\’s rhythm. There is a reason why your children turn a deaf ear to your words. Sometimes, when you give instructions to your children, they seem not to hear them, or they take a long time to respond. You think it\’s really because the child is slow to respond and ignores you. So you yell angrily, even fight, and then curse and say that the child is disobedient. In fact, children are just too focused and immersed in their own world. Or they are so excited to play their own game that they have already turned off their auditory system. Especially for boys, it’s like a one-way cycle, so don’t interfere. Don\’t expect a child who is playing with his toys to hear your voice telling him to eat at the first moment. Unless the child is already hungry and is thinking about eating instead of playing. When you look at your children, they are growing up in front of you. Are you really trying to read him? Too many children never feel that their parents understand them even once they grow up. In fact, every child longs for his parents to pay attention to his feelings instead of controlling himself. To be honest, do you really consider your children\’s feelings?