My children are rude

Every morning when I send my daughter to kindergarten, when I arrive at the school gate, there will be two guards standing at the door, who are mainly responsible for the safety of the kindergarten. There is also a retired uncle who helps maintain order. When the daughter walks to the gate, she will usually look up at the two doormen, or she will go in without looking up, but she will not say hello to them. And when he sees the retired uncle, he will say \”Hello, grandpa\”. At first I didn\’t realize there was anything wrong, but slowly I discovered that not all children are like this. Some children will shout \”Hello, uncle\” when they see two doormen from a distance. They will shout \”Hello, grandpa\” when they see a retired uncle, and they will also get enthusiastic responses. At the door of the classroom, one of my daughter\’s classmates, under the instructions of her grandma, greeted the parents who came to see their children off warmly, saying \”Hello aunt\”, \”Hello uncle\”, \”Hello grandpa\”, \”Hello grandma\”. Adults usually reply, \”This kid is so polite.\” I suddenly felt that it was rude for my daughter not to say hello when meeting people like this? Realizing that this was a problem, I also reminded her intentionally. When I arrived at the gate and saw two doormen, I would say to her, \”Call me uncle.\” But every time she heard my reminder, she would look up, then lower her head and pass by, never speaking. Is the child less polite than the child who likes to yell? Can this situation be helped to correct for her? With this question, I also searched online. I wouldn’t know if I didn’t search. After searching, I found that many parents are confused like this: What should I do if my children don’t like to call others? There are also various answers online, and I didn\’t find the answer I wanted. So, I tried to find the answer myself. First of all, what I think about is whether the child is like me. Due to his personality, he doesn\’t like to say hello to others. I quickly rejected my suspicion. The reason why my child doesn\’t like to say hello is not because of her personality, because she doesn\’t say hello to everyone, but only to different people. When she meets a child, if she wants to play with them, she will take the initiative and ask, can we play together? Then the two people will quickly become good friends. When she meets an adult woman, she will usually say hello. The problem lies in the attitude towards adult men. If you ask her to say hello to an older, kind-looking man, she will usually do it. But for young and middle-aged men, she usually refuses to say hello. Since it\’s not because of her personality, then why doesn\’t she like to say hello? I asked the child, why didn\’t he call someone? She didn\’t give me any helpful answer, she just said she didn\’t want to scream. By observing my daughter\’s behavior, I feel that she is not completely afraid of strangers, but has a natural sense of self-protection at play. At her age, she doesn\’t have a full sense of trust in the outside world. She just relies on her own instincts to decide who can be trusted and who needs to be kept at a distance. Those adult men are the imaginary enemies in her heart that she needs to keep a distance from. Thinking of this, I am not worried anymore, and I no longer force her to say hello to others. Although the child is young, she has her own set of judgment standards. Later, a series of news about children being harmed made me think that it might not be a bad thing for children not to like to say hello to others. A familiar child and a wary childChildren, who is more vulnerable? Should children be friendly to everyone? This is also a question we need to think about. In this case, why do many parents still struggle with the issue of \”children don\’t like to call people\”? On the one hand, it may be the parent\’s face mentality that is causing trouble. Other people\’s children are very sweet-mouthed and will call them whatever they want. Why don\’t their own children speak? Especially in front of acquaintances, I look very embarrassed. On the other hand, some parents may feel that their children have a bad personality, will they continue to be like this, will they suffer a disadvantage when they enter society in the future, etc. No matter what the reason is, parents don\’t need to be so anxious. After all, the child is still young and cannot be judged from the perspective of the parents. It is good to think that if he likes to call others, it is not good if he doesn\’t like to call others. On the contrary, if the child is forced to call someone, a series of problems may arise. 1. It affects children’s judgments about who is trustworthy and who is not trustworthy. Parents do not have the final say. Children have their own judgment standards. Children may not trust someone who adults think is a good person. Forcing a child to call someone is equivalent to telling the child that this person is friendly and trustworthy. It may disrupt the child\’s own judgment. Who is trustworthy? 2. Destroy the child\’s sense of security. What a child trusts most is his parents and other relatives. In addition, he needs to decide his behavior based on his own observation and judgment about other people. If parents force their children to call someone, it will make the child feel insecure. They think this person is scary. Why should parents let him say hello? This is also a problem that he cannot fully understand at his age. 3. Let the children suffer unnecessary harm. I have seen several videos of child trafficking. The traffickers took the initiative to play with the children when the parents were not around, and then lied to the children that they had toys to give to the children, but the toys were not around. In the car, let the child follow you to get it, and then the child was taken away. A child who greets everyone he meets is more likely to be unguarded, and a child who is mentally unguarded has a greater chance of being approached by bad people. Therefore, if you see that your child doesn’t like to say hello to others, don’t jump to conclusions so quickly, and don’t force your child to say hello. Giving children a certain amount of respect and trust is not a bad thing, and parents should not be too sensitive. Each child has different personality traits and must be treated differently. My kids have no manners. Yeah, so what. Besides, being polite goes beyond just saying hello.