Your ineffective spanking and scolding will make your children further and further away from self-discipline.

Meatballs have been particularly troublesome since they were young. I eat slowly every day, put off my homework as much as possible, and when it’s time to go to bed, the toys in the house have not been put away. Every time, I yell, \”Wanzi, hurry up and eat, Wanzi, hurry up and write, why doesn\’t Wanzi sleep!\” It was quite effective at first, but I was exhausted both physically and mentally. Later, amidst my roaring, Wanzi became more and more calm, playing as he should, dragging and supporting him as he should. Slowly he started to talk back. Finally, after roaring 101 times to no avail, Wanzi was beaten up by me. I thought that Wanzi would be obedient, but I didn\’t expect that although Wanzi\’s eyes were filled with tears, they were full of anger. Shout out, Bad Mom! After saying that, he ran into the house and refused to come out for a long time. After hearing this, I felt sad and distressed. I walked into the room, saw her eyes were red, and asked her, why didn\’t she write? Wanzi is not angry. I don’t want to write, so I won’t write! I wanted my children to develop good habits and become more self-disciplined, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Simply beating and scolding is no longer an effective way to educate children. If education methods are not improved, it will not only be detrimental to parents’ discipline, but more seriously, it will lead to rebellious psychology in children, laying hidden dangers for their future growth. After Wanzi\’s father came back, I told him about the matter, and we reflected on it, discussed it together, and gradually found a way to educate Wanzi. Now Wan Zi basically has a regular schedule and can take the initiative to complete many things. He is going further and further on the road of self-discipline. How to avoid ineffective spanking and scolding and make children more self-disciplined? Stay calm and don’t let your emotions get to your head. Napoleon once said that a person who can control his emotions is greater than a general who can capture a city. It is important for children to control their emotions and stay calm. If parents are in a state of anxiety for a long time, they will treat their children simply and roughly, by hitting or scolding them. When children are beaten and scolded, they no longer feel the love of their parents. They begin to feel sad and their relationship with their parents gradually becomes estranged. If things go on like this, the children will either be resistant to their parents\’ education, or have an indifferent attitude, and the children will be in a state of neglect. As parents, no matter how stressful work and life are, you must control your emotions. Don\’t do evil to your children under the slogan that everything is for you. When your child is dawdling, don\’t get angry first, communicate with your child, and then educate your child according to the situation. Respect your children\’s wishes and formulate corresponding rules. In \”The Psychology of Procrastination\”, the famous social psychologist Zimbardo proposed that people perceive time with reference to different coordinates based on the past, present and future. If the sense of time is out of balance, it will cause trouble in our lives. During their early years, children develop an understanding of the past, present, and future. Although they still mainly live in subjective time, they have gradually adapted to their parents\’ time. During childhood, children begin to learn how to recognize the digital time on the clock, but the time rules of the outside world conflict with their self-expectations. Children\’s sense of time is unbalanced, which requires parents to help their children form good habits, let the habits restrain them, and have specific activities within the prescribed time. Maruko doesn\’t like to do homework right after school, because a day at school is really tiring. After discussing with Wanzi, Wanzi can play for half an hour first, and then do homework, provided that playing does not include watching TV. Since this adjustment, Wanzi has become very conscious and does not let me rush her when doing homework. Respecting the child\’s wishes does not mean letting the child make all the decisions, but giving the child the right to choose. You can allow your children to express their opinions, but not unprincipled indulgence. It was Wanzi who suggested that we go home and rest first, but how long and how we should play was decided by Wanzi’s father and I. Considering that playing too long would delay the time for children to go to bed, they stipulated that they could only play for half an hour. Watching TV will distract children. Watching it for half an hour will definitely make it difficult to concentrate on homework, so watching TV is not allowed. Samuel once said: \”The world is like a mirror: frown at it, and it will frown at you; smile at it, and it will smile at you.\” The same is true for children. If you blindly use beatings and scolding to solve problems, your children will be a replica of you in the future, they will not attack you, and they will definitely speak harshly. In \”Mom is Superman\” broadcast on Mango Channel, Hu Ke is a typical example. She doesn\’t lose her temper easily, but if the child is really too much, she will teach her appropriately. In the second episode of making dumplings, brothers Anji and Xiao Yuer got into a fight over the meat filling. Hu Ke tried to persuade them patiently at first, but the two children were so noisy that Hu Ke couldn\’t bear it anymore. He slapped the rolling pin angrily and yelled, \”What\’s going on?\” It\’s endless, right? Xiao Yuer cried loudly, but Hu Ke emphasized that crying was useless. Seeing that the child seemed to know his mistakes, he comforted the child while pointing out the child\’s mistakes. If there was a problem, he would solve the problem. It was useless to lose his temper. Hu Ke\’s brilliance lies in getting angry at the right time, and anger is just a means, and subsequent education is the goal. In this way, the child will not feel unloved and can understand where the mistakes are. Normally, if the child swallows slowly, you can communicate with the child. First point out the child\’s mistakes descriptively, that is, point out what the child\’s behavior is wrong, and then express your feelings. Before eating, Wanzi always moves slowly to the dining table. I said to Wanzi, Wanzi, mother calls you to eat, but you always take your time, and mother is very angry. Children love their parents very much and have a sense of shame. Generally, after hearing that you are angry, they will restrain themselves and ask why. At this time, if you tell her the reason, the child will usually actively correct the mistake. Rewards and punishments should be clear and avoid excess. People have the mentality of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, and so do children. You did it quickly and well, and you should be praised. Once, Wanzi took the initiative to tidy up the toys before going to bed. Wanzi\’s father gave her her favorite Barbie doll as a reward, but Wanzi unexpectedly developed the habit of putting away the toys before going to bed. Of course, the rewards are mainly verbal rewards and alternative rewards. If the child performs well, you can praise the child, you are awesome! Or use sticks and stickers instead of material rewards. If you continue to provide material rewards to your children, once a habit is formed, your children will have higher and higher requirements for material rewards, and they will do false things for rewards. Punishment is not spanking or scolding, it can confiscate favorite toys, prohibit doing things that the child likes, or cancel a promised trip to the amusement park, etc. A child is a seedling that needs careful watering by its parents. I wish parents would be more patient and less impatient. Communicate more and fight less. Let our children become more and moreSelf-discipline, getting better and better!