Reject the chain of contempt: Education is not about winning

I don’t know what happened recently, but the term “chain of contempt” is frequently used in education. Parents who buy houses in school districts have chains of contempt, primary schools have chains of contempt, and kindergartens must have chains of contempt. Although this may be part of the reality, when the \”chain of contempt\” and \”education\” are so blatantly linked together, it is like a joke, revealing the biggest failure of education. The illusion is just like what was described in the popular article \”The Chain of Contempt in Middle-Class Education: Never Let Your Child Study in a Kindergarten with No Foreign Teachers and Children Who Have No English Names and Watch Pleasant Goat\”. When the daughter explicitly refuses a boy without an English name to join the game , although the parents on the side were embarrassed, they were secretly satisfied that their English training expenses were not in vain. I really don’t understand what makes parents happy. The moment the child turns around and runs away, no matter how fluent she is in English, she has already closed a door for herself and has the possibility to experience more diverse aspects of life. Perhaps this is where the parent\’s secret joy comes from. What I want is to close this door. Just like the so-called middle-class anxiety that has filled the Internet recently, \”The upward channel is narrow, but the downward channel is always open.\” What parents want to do most is to lock this downward channel through education. It has to be said that this can only be an illusion. Changes must first talk about the setting of class. Regardless of property or non-property, middle class or petty bourgeoisie, these artificial distinctions are the rules of the game in adult society. Of course, children also have discriminating minds, but their rules are closer to the essence of life. Whether you are good-looking, strong enough, and able to talk at least depends on whether you can happily play in the mud. I once saw two little boys throwing stones at each other downstairs in the community. One was fat and the other was thin. At first they were just playing, but as they played, they became obsessed with winning. The little boy was obviously at a disadvantage and fled in defeat. He ran and said , I am from the third primary school in Zhongguancun, and I go to the best primary school in Beijing. To be honest, until now, I can\’t find the right words to describe the feeling at that time. I can only say that I am very emotional. Predating the strong, climbing up and down, this should be an instinct of animal survival. The advanced level of human beings lies in our awareness of life and empathy. We realize that strength and weakness are relative. Treat others how you want others to treat you. So, there is education and civilization. And in these so-called chains of contempt, what has become of education? It\’s just a tool, a conduit to another goal. If the pipeline can really be unblocked, we can give up. Unfortunately, this is often just wishful thinking on the part of parents. Not long ago, Ke Jie lost to AlphaGo. He took off his mirror and wiped his tears, which moved many people. Humanity lost, many media used such headlines. It must be admitted that in the field of intelligence, those unknown possibilities will be handed over to machines. Only emotions are still the most precious resources and wealth of human beings. Kevin Kelly, the prophetic father of the Internet, once described that in the future, changes will be more rapid, from change to flux. He gave an example: The achievements of industrial society are like mountains that are there, you just have to climb them. In the Internet society, the solid foundation no longer exists, and a peak will rise under our feet at any time, and it may also fall quickly from the peak. When change becomes the only constant, are you sure that your children can learn English andEquestrian, math olympiad, and programming, will he be sure to win? Going forward a few decades, oil workers were so glorious, and they had to squeeze out their heads to be able to join the factory to take over. The chain of contempt existed in the state-owned iron rice bowl, which looked down on large collectives, and those who had jobs looked down on unemployed hawkers. What used to be a once-in-ten-year or five-year change has now become a once-in-a-year change. What kind of confident parent can say that I am using my narrow vision to win a higher-class residency for my children? Of course the mentality is that the butt determines the head. Everyone’s economic foundation, life experience, and knowledge structure are different, and their education choices are naturally different. Your social circle spans five continents and four oceans, so your children will naturally develop a second and third language. If you golf every day, your children\’s ice hockey may have to be on your schedule. Parents are the destiny of their children. Wherever you are, your children will be. There is no right or wrong in education choices. What we want to discuss is not what should be learned, but the motivation, the motivation for education. Except for a very few parents, the driving force behind education is comparison, satisfying one\’s own unwillingness to lag behind, and vanity and exaggeration. Normal parents’ first intention is love. No matter the difficulties or obstacles in the future, I want my children to have a smooth life. Therefore, we want our children to be better and more capable, so as not to fall behind or be bullied in the competition with others. This is the most sincere wish of a parent, but it is not seen as the most effective protection for a child. What exactly does excellence mean? If it\’s just about how strong your skills are, how high your quality is, and how great your achievements are, you will always meet someone who is better and encounter a ceiling for growth. After all, life is not a sports event, and the Olympic spirit of faster, higher and stronger cannot be used to guide life. Moreover, there is only one champion, and most people can\’t even enter the track. When you can only applaud from the side of the road, how can you define the fun of watching the game and the meaning of your life. Besides, life never ends. Even if you reach the top and shine, you must continue to write the articles after the period. As parents, we are increasingly aware of the limitations and helplessness of life. When facing zombies that will never be defeated, swords and sharp swords are very important, and skills are very important, but how to live a steaming, vibrant, and contented life is even more important. I hope that my children will be brave enough to overcome obstacles. What’s more, I hope that she will not despise herself or doubt life in the mud, but she can still roll around, laugh and curse. Yes, rather than making my child better, I hope that when she grows up, she will learn to accept herself and accept her own shortcomings. Of course, acceptance is not indulgence or laziness. Just focus more on yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses. As a child with unlimited possibilities, we should teach her to challenge her limits and surpass herself, and we should also help her understand how to reconcile with herself after fighting. This sounds really dialectical, so there is no one-size-fits-all panacea. In the final analysis, it is a state of mind and a lifelong practice of our parents. Those who talk about \”children\’s happiness is the most important\” are the most correct truth and the most useless chicken soup. Parents cannot give happiness, it cannot be gifted, it can only grow from the heart. When children accept themselves and recognize their strengths and weaknesses, they can clarify their desires and find their goals. haveDo your best to do what you love, pursue it hard, and get what you want. That is really a great blessing. But when parents talk about anxiety, I wonder if we are really anxious, or if this is just manipulation from the Internet. Moments freeze the most glorious moments of others, and the mobile Internet connects us to the whole world. And most importantly, there are always some people who are selling anxiety all the time. They keep an eye on the powerlessness that adults carefully package. Revealing the most hidden darkness in the heart, after all, these can all be converted into traffic and tuition fees!