Anita Yuen and Julian Cheung\’s \”Only Contradiction\”: How does the conflict in education methods affect marriage?

Anita Yuen and Julian Cheung are a well-known loving couple in the entertainment industry. Although they are in love, like many couples, they have differences on the issue of educating their children. While Anita Yuen\’s family of three were traveling in the UK, Julian Cheung and his son were playing live broadcast on their mobile phones in a restaurant. Because her son attends an international school and all classes are taught in English, Anita Yuen wants her son to speak more Chinese. Julian Cheung believes that English should be practiced from an early age, so he would rather his son speak more English. During the live broadcast, Anita Yuen felt that her son should be encouraged to speak Chinese, so she said: Please speak more Chinese. Unexpectedly, Zhang Zhilin actually said to his son: You are responsible for English and I am responsible for Chinese. Anita Yuen said that she was so angry that she wanted to \”beat\” Julian Cheung. She was encouraging her children, but her husband was \”troublesome\” like this. At present, the only conflict between the two is \”teaching the boy\”. Differences in views on educating children can become one of the major conflicts in a marriage. Before actually raising children, it is difficult for a couple to be deeply aware of the differences in the parenting styles of each other and themselves. It is not necessarily a bad thing for a couple to have different parenting styles, and sometimes different parenting styles can complement each other. But this difference may cause conflict between the two, and this conflict will affect their relationship. Common family conflicts caused by differences in parenting are as follows: mothers are more involved in raising children when they are young, so they gradually assume the main responsibility for educating their children. Fathers retreat to the sidelines of educating their children. As the child grows older, the mother feels powerless or tired, and will turn to her husband for help, asking her husband to help her put pressure on the child. However, the husband has never participated in the children\’s education, and his assistance may not be effective. It may also be that his parenting style is different from his wife\’s, and he may even think that his child\’s behavior is correct, so he cannot give him the \”support\” that his wife considers. The wife will regard her husband\’s behavior as a challenge to her authority and accuse her husband of \”dereliction of duty.\” At this time, the conflict between the wife and the children will be temporarily put on hold and turn into a conflict between husband and wife. When there is a rift in the relationship between husband and wife, the wife will move closer to the children and join forces with the children to fight against the husband. In this case, the husband will retreat to the margins of the family power structure. When the child again rebels against the mother\’s authority, the wife will again turn to her husband for help. This process will happen again and again. This ultimately leads to the mother and child becoming closer and closer, pushing the husband further and further away. Parenting styles can be divided into four categories, from the strictest to the most permissive. You can use the following four categories to see what styles you and your partner have. Authoritarian parents: Authoritarian parents set strict rules for their children and force them to abide by them. Once their children fail to meet expectations, the parents will severely punish their children. They will not explain to their children why they set these rules. If the children question them, they will say: You must listen to me, there is no reason. Authoritative parents generally give their children enough respect and treat their children as independent individuals. They will also set rules for their children, but they will listen to their children\’s ideas. When setting rules, they let their children know the consequences of breaking them. They also give their children a lot of support, including emotional support and timely responses. At present, this kind of educationstyle is considered the most effective parenting style. Permissive Parents These parents are also called doting parents. They rarely set any rules for their children and try to avoid conflicts with their children. They give their children a lot of emotional support and responsiveness, but the children take little to no responsibility for their actions. Alienated parents are parents who don\’t care much about their children\’s needs. In common parlance, they are \”absent\” parents. They have little emotional connection with their children, do not care about their children, and do not set rules for their children. She has no expectations or requirements for her children, and even deliberately alienates her children. Some alienating parents are even unwilling to assume financial responsibility for their children. What are some ways a couple can avoid marital conflict caused by parenting styles? The following 3 points can be used as a reference. 1. Understand their own and each other’s parenting styles. A couple can use the situation of other people’s children as an example to discuss what to do if their own children have similar situations. During the discussion, couples will become more and more aware of how they and each other plan to educate their children and what measures they will take to deal with their children\’s behavioral problems. There are also some psychological assessments about parenting styles, and these assessments can also be used to understand each other\’s parenting styles. 2. Learn together A couple’s experiences and knowledge will affect their own parenting style. Maybe a couple has very different growth experiences, but it is entirely possible to reach a consensus on the level of knowledge system and support each other when educating their children. 3. Don’t deny each other in front of your children. A couple can certainly have different opinions on how to educate their children. However, directly denying your partner\’s parenting style in front of the children will not only weaken the partner\’s authority in front of the children, but also affect the relationship between the two. When do you have to interfere with your partner’s parenting style? Among authoritarian parents, one type is particularly harsh on their children and often uses violence to control their children\’s behavior. Continuous stress can cause more problems for children. Not only does it have a psychological impact, it also has an impact on the child\’s physical health. If your partner has this type of parenting style, be sure to intervene and ask him/her to change his/her ways. Raising children requires the most cooperation between husband and wife. Do you have any disagreements about educating your children?