What should we do with children who \”will commit suicide if they don\’t play games\”?

It\’s summer vacation now, and children have a lot of free time. In addition, the popular mobile game \”Honor of Kings\” only requires a mobile phone to make children instantly addicted. Even if parents don\’t let their children play, children will play secretly on their own if they become addicted. Seeing their children spending all their time playing games, parents must be anxious and helpless. I have personally seen examples of Sister C competing with her son for games all year round. In order to prevent her son from playing games, Sister C unplugged the network cable, hid the mouse, confiscated the router, set a password for the computer… she tried all methods, but still nothing happened. This kind of family conflict caused by children playing games is not only caused by Sister C’s family. If you search casually, the Internet is also full of news that “if you don’t let your children play games, they will commit suicide.” When children play games, the first instinctive reaction from a parent\’s standpoint is to prohibit it, but some parents are more tolerant and think that as long as it does not affect learning, it is okay for their children to play games. After investigation, parents’ attitudes towards their children playing games can be basically divided into three representative types: “absolute prohibition”, “occasional play”, and “open play”. Absolute ban is not feasible. First of all, it is almost impossible to prevent children from playing games, because the cost for children to access games is too low now. You can play on mobile phones, computers, tablets, TVs, and even the learning machines that parents bought for their children to learn. Parents can see it for a while, but once it is out of their parents\’ control, the children who usually try their best to suppress and tolerate will rush to play at all costs, which will make them even more out of control. We also absolutely prohibited Xiaofu from playing games at the beginning. He first came into contact with games because he was suffering from pneumonia. It is impossible for a child to sit for several hours at a time. The needle that holds the water in place can easily slip off if it moves around, causing edema in the arm. The worst time was when he suffered a water drop and received six injections, so I had no choice but to give him my phone to play a certain game called Xiaoxiaole. From then on it was out of control. There is another theory that it is not advisable to open up play. Children play games like eating candy, for the purpose of stimulation and freshness. Because they never know what the next candy will taste like, the more you don\’t let them eat it, the more they want it. It\’s better to put all kinds of candies in front of them, and they can eat them whenever they want. The children will know what it tastes like, and after a while they will lose the novelty. So the same goes for children playing games. Since there is no way to absolutely prohibit it, it is better to let children play freely. When children get tired of playing, they naturally don’t want to play anymore. So, is it not possible to absolutely prohibit children from playing games, but can we really allow children to play freely? Of course not. Adults can become addicted to games, let alone children who have no self-control? Allowing children to play games openly is a parent\’s attempt to save trouble and is irresponsible. First, compared to books and TV, games are more interactive and have more dazzling colors. There are almost no children who are not attracted to them. Second, children’s three views have not yet been established, and they cannot distinguish the difference between the real world and the game world. It is easy to confuse them and affect the child’s cognition. Third, games are a huge industry. The original intention of the design is to attract others to play. Even if you are tired of playing one game, there are other games that children can play without control.If you get stuck when you are weak, you will never be able to get out. Fourth, long-term uncontrolled playing of games is not conducive to children’s mental development, nor is it conducive to children’s physical health. Play occasionally, but set rules. Since games cannot be absolutely banned, nor can they be played openly, then it’s okay to play occasionally. In related survey reports, 58% of parents choose to play games for their children occasionally. It’s okay to play occasionally, but how to use it “occasionally” requires parents to think about it. 1. Establish rules. The whole family should follow a unified standard for how many times a month or a week they play, and how many games or minutes they play at a time. This rule should be set with the children before playing the game. Children are very smart, and they know very well that if they have trouble with their parents, they can find a breakthrough from their grandparents and grandparents. Therefore, after the rules are formulated, the whole family must unify the standards. 2. You can play games with your children, but parents need to choose the type of games. Younger children need to be accompanied by their parents to play together. My standard is to try to choose games without bloody violence. Playing games with your child has at least these two benefits. First, you can know what he is playing and what his interests are. Second, there are topics to communicate with the children. 3. Spend more time with your children. Compared with playing games, children actually prefer to \”play\” with you. They enjoy talking to you and derive a sense of self-worth from your reactions. Therefore, parents should spend more time with their children and take them out to play more. When the children become \”busy\”, they will naturally not think of playing games. 4. Don’t use games as rewards. Children are willing to do anything just to play games. For example, when Xiao Fu wants to play games, he will flatter him in various ways. So you must not have the idea of ​​​​\”If you perform well today, I will let you play the game.\” It is necessary for a child to abide by basic behavioral norms, and it is instinctive for a child to want to play games. Once the two are linked, he will use \”behave well\” to blackmail you into letting him play games. This vicious cycle will make it more difficult for children to discipline. Tell your children clearly that games can be played, but they must follow the rules. 5. Be a role model yourself. Sister C mentioned at the beginning of the article, her husband is away from home all year round. After her son goes to school, she is bored at home alone. She also turns on the computer and plays games whenever she has free time. So I am playing games myself, but I want my children not to play, which is not convincing at all. The possibility of parents who do not grow or learn but want their children to become good young people is extremely slim. It is not always a bad thing for children to play games. When parents see their children addicted to video games, they will always feel a sense of sadness. They often say, \”If you can use half of your energy in playing games to study, we won\’t worry about it.\” In fact, parents don\’t have to worry too much when they see their children playing games. A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences pointed out that if a game can improve the cognitive processing of 6-year-old children, then such a game can also improve their academic performance. Children\’s executive functions, such as memory, planning and cognitive control, can be trained for targeted cognitive processes. Integrative Neuroscience, University of Buenos Aires, ArgentinaThe laboratory conducted a series of experiments on \”whether the effects of computer games can be transferred to real life.\” Researchers analyzed how playing a set of adaptive computer games over 10 weeks affected the academic performance of 111 first-grade students from low socioeconomic status in two public schools in Buenos Aires. Research results demonstrate that these games can improve certain aspects of children\’s executive functions, and that these improvements directly improve children\’s math scores. I myself had a similar experience with the results of this experiment. Last year Xiaofuqi broke his arm and rested at home for several months. He accidentally started playing the game Plants vs. Zombies, and then he was obsessed with playing it every day. Every day, I cry several times while playing games. I also had a headache at first, but gradually, I was moved by Xiaofu’s perseverance and perseverance of “seizing every opportunity to play when you are given a chance to play, and creating all the conditions to play when you are not allowed to play.” His indomitable spirit in playing games, if given a little guidance, will really yield unexpected results. 1. Improve vocabulary. It is stipulated that you can only play two games at a time, so after the game is over, Xiaofu will reluctantly read the name and introduction of every plant and zombie. The next time he sees the same new words, he will easily pronounce them, such as \”花\” for sunflower, \”rod\” for pole zombie, etc. So without any teaching, he memorized many new words silently. 2. Exercise memory. If you can\’t play games but really want to play, Xiaofu will draw the game scenes on the drawing board based on his memory, such as where the plants should be and where the zombies are. 3. Cultivate mathematical skills. When playing games, let him observe how many peas an ordinary zombie has to hit before it is eliminated. Or how much sun must be collected to grow a sunflower. Next time he is planting plants, you can choose the distance to plant the plants based on the above conclusion, or ask him how much sun he has already, what kinds of plants can be planted, etc. 4 Training imitation ability Even when playing outside, he will always think about the game. At this time, he will let me stand opposite him and take turns playing zombies and plants. Seeing him tilting his head and walking forward with his splayed legs, it was really interesting. I would pretend to be various powerful plants to \”deal with\” him. 5. Cultivate observation skills. Playing games is limited by electronic equipment and venues, but the \”you guess better than me\” game can be played at any time. For example, when he smiles and shakes his head to ask me to guess what plant it is, I will say, \”This must be a sunflower.\” He would think I was so smart, and then immediately want to pretend to be a more powerful plant for me to guess. 6. Expand your mind and use your hands and brain. If you want to do something but can\’t do it, it will definitely scratch your heart. So when Xiaofu couldn\’t play games, he gave full play to his \”intelligence\” and used \”life-long learning\” to make something. Play the Zombie deck with me.