A mother\’s regret medicine: My child has accomplished nothing because of…

It was too hot, so I didn’t take Youyou out to play, so I took her for a walk in the nearby botanical garden every morning. There are many entertainment facilities in the park, as well as small stalls for children to play. Among them was a fish stall, a square small pool surrounded by plastic, and a group of small goldfish in it. The children took the small fishing nets and fished for small fish in it. It is very suitable for children aged three or four to play and can exercise the flexibility of their little hands. The boss is nice and the children can fish as long as they don’t take away the small fish in the end. The children were also very excited and had a great time. There were several children squatting beside the small pool. One of them, a little boy wearing a green T-shirt, was particularly eye-catching. Because other children are playing by themselves, but behind him there are more \”pointers\” from his mother: \”Here, there, hurry up, look, he ran away again\” \”Yes, fish, fish, fish, ah\” , so stupid.\” \”Get up and see how I catch it.\” The child looked very reluctant, but the mother standing behind him did not notice that a lot of fish had been caught in the small basin beside them, but those were all Thanks to my mother. Why not let it go? How many parents urge their children to be more independent while holding on to their children\’s hands tightly. Children can slowly use the net to follow the small fish, pick up the small fish, and then put the small fish into the water. It is quite fun. But in the eyes of parents, this is a sign of \”inability\”. Children must quickly pick up small fish, or catch three or four in one net, to be considered powerful. Many times, we blame children for their poor hands-on ability. But have you ever thought about whether it was caused by your own involvement? Around us, there are many children who grew up \”arranged\” by their parents. Honghong is one such child. Growing up, she had almost never had to worry about anything: dressing, wearing shoes, brushing teeth and other household chores were all done by her parents. Honghong, who was in the second grade of elementary school, often asked her parents to feed her; Honghong was not good at math, and her father She invited the best teacher in the school to make up lessons for her alone; she was worried that Honghong would be too tired from studying, so her mother cooked various nutritious meals for her according to the recipes. With the careful cultivation of her parents, Honghong lived up to her expectations and passed the exam. Parents\’ favorite college. I thought that after going to college, my parents could let go. Unexpectedly, Honghong’s mother said, “Girls have to worry about it for the rest of their lives.” As expected, her parents rented a house in the city where Honghong University is located. Wu went to school to see Honghong, brought snacks made by himself, helped the child change and wash clothes, and still took good care of Honghong\’s diet and daily life as he did when he was a child. However, after graduation, Honghong\’s development was not satisfactory. She did not know how to deal with interpersonal relationships. She repeatedly ran into obstacles whether it was finding a job or dating a partner. She was submissive to others and lacked confidence in her work. There was no other way, so Honghong\’s mother had no choice but to find a job for Honghong in a friend\’s company through her connections. However, Honghong had a fight with her boss and resigned angrily within a few days of going to work. The mother was left with a long sigh: \”How did the child who was so obedient when he was young become like this now? When will he grow up?\” She didn\’t know that the child failed to grow up, but she grew up for the child. Are children really as fragile as we think? A friend asked me during dinnerThey cried: \”On the first day of my daughter\’s kindergarten, how could she leave with the kindergarten teacher she just met without looking back? Do you know, that feeling of not being needed by the child is so disappointing! I She is her biological mother who accompanies her day and night!\” For a moment, I suddenly remembered that my mother said that when I first entered elementary school, she often sneaked to see me outside the school wall and watched me seriously learn to do radio gymnastics. Watching me carrying my lunch box across the big playground, I shed tears as I watched: How can such a small person grow up as he grows up? It turns out that in the parent-child relationship, mothers are more fragile than their children. Their fatal weakness is not the hardship of life, but not being needed. Therefore, compared with our children, we are the reluctant ones. I have watched the Oscar-winning animated film \”Snipe\”, which tells the story of a mother snipe teaching her children to hunt independently and letting them grow up. The cartoon is very short, only 6 minutes, but the meaning is far-reaching. (It is recommended to watch in a wifi environment) Young snipe birds are infinitely dependent on their mother snipe. When they are hungry, they open their mouths and wait for their mother to feed them. In order to train her baby, the mother snipe neither hunts nor feeds her baby, but lets him go to the beach to find food by himself. In fact, whether it is the human world or the animal world, parents are their children\’s first teachers. When their children should learn survival skills, they must learn them. If the children are not willing, parents must be ruthless and guide their children to learn. Survival Skills. Learning to let go at the right time is the greatest love a parent can have for his or her children. Give the child the right to make his own choices. The child\’s autonomy is most obvious in his independent choices. But many parents are afraid that their children will make the wrong choice and never give their children the right to choose. It is impossible for such children to adapt to the highly competitive social life when they grow up. Parents should take the initiative to give their children the right to choose and tell them to be responsible for their own choices. Give the child space and let him move forward on his own. Of course the child likes to live in the arms of his mother, but he cannot live like this forever. There is such a mother whose child is already in the second grade of elementary school. She has to carry him hard to carry him to school until he is dozens of meters away from the school. She is afraid that the teacher will see her, so she reluctantly puts her child down… …How can a child who has grown up under the care of his mother begin to have autonomy? Parents should expand their children\’s space for free activities based on their own characteristics and abilities. For example, encourage them to find friends to play with and let them be the masters of this space. Give children some difficulties and let them suffer some \”suffering\”. I am not advocating \”suffering\” education or raising children in poverty. But always remind yourself: If you really love your children, don’t raise them as pets and do everything for them. Parents who have no sense of boundaries will stifle their children\’s nature, cultivate a little white-eyed wolf with their own hands, and waste their children\’s lives. Wise parents should learn to let go. In the colorful life, we are not condescending and teaching, but stand on the children\’s list, shoulder to shoulder with them, holding hands, and accompany them through the wonderful journey.