Raising children is not that hard, what is hard is your attitude towards me

\”Isn\’t it just taking care of a child? How tiring can it be?\” If someone says such a cool word to you when you are exhausted physically and mentally after serving your little master, how would you feel? If this person were none other than the child\’s father, would you be furious? My friend L is my high school classmate and once complained to me about such a thing. She has been taking care of the children full-time at home, so she arranges every detail for the children. Now that the little boy is over two years old, he once wanted to go out to play. I routinely changed his clothes and shoes, packed his backpack for going out, changed his clothes and picked up his things, etc. A series of trivial and indispensable steps were finally done. , I was so busy that I took it out with me sweating. As a result, halfway through, the child shouted for a drink of water, only to find that the water glass was forgotten on the shoe cabinet at the door. We are halfway on the highway and there is no water in the car, what should we do? I was blaming myself in my heart. My friend\’s husband felt sorry for her child when she was thirsty, but he couldn\’t think of a good solution for a while, so he complained to her: \”You can forget to bring a water bottle, you always throw it away like this.\” My friend told me that she suddenly became depressed at that time, and her husband Before going out, I sat there playing with my phone without helping to prepare. I waited until the door was cleared and called before I got up and left. Are you blaming her now that you forgot something? And there are only a handful of times when she forgets to bring something, yet she is still criticized by people online for always forgetting things like this? ! All the usual thoughtfulness is taken for granted, and occasionally he is criticized for not thinking well. She was not only aggrieved, but also angry. But the child was in the car, so she didn\’t want to argue with her husband, so she just kept silent. The air in the car suddenly became cold, and her interest in traveling was completely lost. Frankly speaking, in our eyes, our friend\’s husband is not the kind of person who just abandons the children. He spends a lot of time with them. But friends said that when he \”takes care of children\”, he means more of \”playing with children\” and taking pictures of them. Both father and son were very happy to be running around with their children. And all the logistics, he didn\’t have much of an idea. He didn\’t pay attention to the painstaking preparations before going out and the meticulous packing after returning home, and he didn\’t seem to notice the busyness of his friends. I think we can all relate to my friend\’s sentiments. Do you want to say that raising children is hard? It\’s hard to say it\’s hard, it\’s not hard to say it\’s not hard, anyway, Liuliu smiled at me, and all the hard work disappeared. But when we are busiest, or when there is a problem and we need help, it’s fine if my husband doesn’t help, but he still mocks me for not doing a good job? Raising children is not that hard. What makes it hard for me is your lack of understanding and consideration. I remember going to a friend\’s house one weekend. She and her children had just woken up from a nap, with a lazy and content look on their faces: \”I slept for three hours at once. It was so comfortable. I haven\’t had a solid night\’s sleep in several years.\” Her husband was there The person next to me laughed and said that she was exaggerating. You can sleep when the child sleeps. Are you so tired? She looked at me with a wry smile, I understand, but her husband doesn\’t. The friend I visited was under a lot of pressure during the day and didn’t even have time to rest. Don’t date or look at your phone after get off work, and spend all your time with your children. She also takes care of the children\’s daily chores, and arranges the food and clothing expenses properly. If the child doesn\’t sleep well at night, she will get up and coax him. He has not slept for months and months.Get a full night\’s sleep. But in the morning, I had to get up as usual and go to work with dark circles under my eyes. Has anyone ever cared about the hardship of not getting enough sleep all year round? Thousands of days and nights of trivial hard work, but the person next to me turns a blind eye. What is there to say, and rattles off everything he does every minute and every second? That will only make it harder. And, are these words useful to men? Many times, they feel that we are exaggerating and making unnecessary excuses. \”Bringing up children is a matter of course for women.\” \”Our brothers were raised like this by our mother. Others can do it, so why can\’t you?\” \”That\’s pretty much it. You\’re meddling with things, so it\’s weird if you\’re not tired. \”Aren\’t you just raising a child? I work hard. I\’m so stressed all day long. I work overtime to socialize and make money to support the family. When I go home, I still play with my child and think I\’m not good enough.\” Does this sound familiar? ? When we do our best to take care of our children and strive to grow up, hearing this is not only sad but also chilling. Family conflicts slowly accumulate in this kind of intolerance, and then quarrels and cold wars develop. Raising children is not that hard. What makes it hard for me is your lack of support and intolerance. There was an article that went viral in the circle of friends \”The most bloody lie: You can take care of your family and career\”, although it is not unreasonable. But I have seen too many mothers. In order to balance the relationship between the two as much as possible, they work hard and take care of their children after get off work. They think very hard and make too many efforts. However, this pursuit is often not understood. In \”Mom is Superman\”, a conversation between Hu Ke and Sha Yi once touched me. In order to take care of the children, Hu Ke had to work for many years and take care of the children at home. When the children got older, Anji was five years old and Xiao Yuer was more than two years old, Hu Ke encountered a better opportunity and decided to work. \”I hope my children will see a mother who works hard and has her own social value.\” But Sha Yi has been with her for so many years, but he doesn\’t understand her: \”I don\’t put any pressure on you. You really worked so hard for yourself.\” ▽However, even if a woman becomes a mother, she will still want to pursue self-realization and social recognition. These have nothing to do with the pressure of life, but the pursuits deep in your heart. Hu Ke believes that it is not difficult to balance work and family, but her husband\’s natural attitude makes her sad. She said: \”After having children, do women have to sacrifice themselves to take care of the whole family?\” Hu Ke had been filming \”Ruyi\’s Royal Love in the Palace\” for several months and had no time to accompany the children and take care of the family. Sha Yi was very dissatisfied. However, in previous interviews, Sha Yi said frankly: \”The day after Hu Ke gave birth to Anji, he left home to film.\” But Hu Ke did not complain, but comforted him: \”You have a good time filming there. \”Sha Yi was very moved. But when Hu Ke also had a movie to film, he didn\’t support it. He even repeatedly advised his wife to take care of her children at home and \”don\’t be too much of a model worker.\” Therefore, Hu Ke burst into tears. The thing itself is not hard at all, the hardest thing is your attitude. This sentence is really heart-breaking. I have always felt that only those who are mentally matched can go further in their married life, because they have similar values. I understand your hard work, and even moreUnderstand your pursuit. It is normal for men to work hard in their careers, but women also need social recognition. How many working mothers are happy that everything is on track when they are pursuing growth and self-realization, but if there is a special situation and they are unable to take care of both ends, they will be blamed. Fortunately, after watching the follow-up interview, Hu Ke and Sha Yi communicated. In order to allow Hu Ke to work with peace of mind, Sha Yi did not take the role when Hu Ke was not in Beijing and stayed at home to take care of the children. Many times, what we care about is your attitude, but what makes us relieved is also your attitude. Who wants to quarrel? Who doesn’t want peace and harmony at home? In fact, women don’t want much. I understand how difficult it is for you. This sentence is actually enough. I understand that it is not easy for you, so even if you are negligent, I will help you solve it. I understand how difficult it is for you. Your child keeps waking you up at night and you can\’t sleep well. You wake up early in the morning and have to take care of your child to do housework. It\’s hard work. I understand how difficult it is for you. You have to go to work and take care of your family. Your originally promising career prospects have been delayed. I understand it\’s not easy for you. In fact, it is such a simple sentence, which represents your respect for me, your pity for me, and your recognition of me. Then, no matter how trivial and hard work is, it has meaning and is not worth mentioning. A healthy family should respect each other\’s efforts and learn to be tolerant. Instead of blaming and complaining about each other when something happens, you will only fall into a vicious cycle, where one party is disappointed, the other party does not know the reason, and the two people gradually drift away. We are all human, and it is not only women who suffer from difficulties in married life, but men as well. All living beings suffer, and everyone bears their own hardships. Tolerate each other and understand each other. Even if I can\’t share the burden for you, I know your efforts and feel the same. Only in this way can we see more beauty in ordinary but trivial days.